Spark Conversations Flashcards
Forget small talk, replace it with…
Big Talk
Big Talk means…
skirting conversational norms, challenging chit-chat status quo, and shirking social scripts.
The best conversations have specific moments of…
energy and excitement or “sparks”
To create pleasurable and memorable conversations…
use unique talking points.
Conversational sparks make us memorable because
it releases in others dopamine, or the feel-good chemical, which gives you more significance and increases your memorability.
3 ways to create Big Talk
Conversation sparkers, push hot buttons, wake people up
Conversation sparkers…
ignite new ideas, introduce topics we never thought about, and stimulate in-depth discussions.
Novelty in conversation causes…
our brains to perk up, pay attention and process the conversation better.
Novelty in conversation boosts…
dopamine which makes us feel good and to seek more of that reward.
Unique ways to say hello or hi
What’s up, What’s going on, Howdy, What’s happening, hola, yo, hey-hey-hey
Indicators of hot buttons
their heads nod up and down, say “mmm-hmm”, lean in closer, writes back a longer email than usual, exclaims “huh!” or “wow!” “fascinating!” “interesting!” “tell me more!”, raise their eyebrows, smiles more and uses more animated gestures
Once you find someone’s hot button…
you expand on it - ask for background stories, details and dig deeper
Hot buttons reflect…
specific interests
Conversation sparks and hot buttons can also…
wake people up
What wakes people up?
Being different
