Snow White Flashcards
Narrator: No we are going to do this story as written. Snow White cleans house for the dwarfs, then she gets poisoned
?Snow White: (waking up ) Why do I have to clean the house IS it because Im A women?
Narrator: no it’s because you feel sorry for the little dwarfs because they are messy and you have OCD and want to make everything nice
Snow White: I don’t see why I have to be a maid . Im the princess here, they should be cleaning up for me
Narrator 1. Never heard of it
(SNOW WHITE wakes up)
Snow white. Am i beautiful
Narrator 2. Your lean
Snow White. Ooh. Skinny. I’ve always wanted to be skinny
Dwarf 1. Sweet
(DWARF 1 and SNOW WHITE rearrange themselves.)
Snow White. Dear husband, I was thinking.
Dwarf 1. Im trying to sleep, woman
Snow White:
Im tired of being poor and hungry. What if we took the cow in the FIELD and tried to get her to have calves.
Then we could RAISE the calves and SELL them
And wed have enough MONEY to buy MORE ANIMALS .
And then we wouldn’t have to starve any more.
Dwarf 1. That sounds like a lot of work.
Snow White. You’re lazy!
Narrator 1. Wow. That story sucks.
Snow White. Can I tell my version now. Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl.
Snow White. Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl.
Snow White. You’re gong to be Snow White this time.
Narrator 1. And moving on.
Snow White. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire kingdom.
Dwarf 2. I am! I am the prettiest!
Snow White. But her stepmother was jealous.
Dwarf 2. Who writes this stuff.
Snow White. Just go with it. And the stepmother went to her room and gazed into her magic mirror.
Dwarf 1. ( As the mirror:) Hey that’s a good idea. You should try that.
Snow White. Meanwhile, Snow White had other plans.
Dwarf 1. That’s not a very good—
Snow White. And just then.
Snow White. And just then
(WITCH 2 enters)
SNOW WHITE. It was her stepmother
PRINCE 2. Hey I was just in the neighborhood looking for a girl in a coma to make out with and—whoah! Chickfight!
(DWARF 2 and WITCH 2 SQUARE OFF)
SNOW WHITE. And it was a glorious battle.
PRINCE 2. Go Snow White!
(DWARF 2 WAVES COQUETTISHLY TO PRICE 2 AS WITCH 2 JUMPS ON HER BACK FROM BEHIND.)
SNOW WHITE: And a Titanic struggle of good and evil Purity vs Corruption
Prince: Go Snow White
Snow White: A titanic struggle of good and evil. purity versus corruption
Until finally
Which 2: I shall transform myself into a black dragon, Ahh ahh h
Snow White: No that was in the sleeping Beauty movie
WITCH 2: I thought we’re doing the sleeping beauty movie
SNOW WHITE: No this is Snow White
Dwarf 2: I’m a modern woman. Come on, let’s get married
(She grabs PRINCE 2 and hoists him over her shoulder)
Snow White. And just then.
Dwarf 2. I’ve heard enough! You’re lucky enough to become my servants. Come with me
Snow White:
And they all lived happily ever after and avoided traditional, gender roles.
And the seven little dwarfs cooked for them,
cleaned the house and did all the other junk
that Snow White was supposed to do in the story the end.
Narrator 1. That was enlightened
Snow White. Thank you
(She exits)
(Ending scene)
Dwarf 1. Ahh! A giant hottie!
Snow White. Ahh! A dwarf!
(Ending scene)
Dwarf 1. How bout you clean our house and tuck us in at night?
Snow White.
You’re not going to o-press me!
(Ending scene)
Witch 2. I’m hotter than you!
Snow White. I don’t judge myself by my looks, but I’m still hotter than you.
(Ending scene)
Witch 2. Want to fight about it?
Snow White. Yes
(They fight)
(Ending scene)
Prince 2. What’s going on here?
Snow White. I’m an emancipated princess and I’m going to take what I want: you
(She carries the PRINCE off)
(Ending scene)
Witch 2: I’m not dead yet
( SNOW WHITE runs back in)
Snow White: I said no Monty Python!
( runs out as Hansel and gretel enter)
