Self esteem and Relationships

Question 1

How is self esteem (self worth) measured?

Answer 1

Perceived successes and achievements + perception of value from significant others = quantity and quality of relationships

Question 2

What is primary self esteem?

Answer 2

positive physical appearance and high value

Question 3

What is secondary self esteem?

Answer 3

achievements and abilities

Question 4

What can happen if you have low self esteem?

Answer 4

• anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression
• impair academic and job performance
• vulnerability to substance abuse

Question 5

What is a challenge?

Answer 5

automatic negative self talk (I am too stupid)

Question 6

what is an example of being overly self critical?

Answer 6

not being able to accept praise

Question 7

What is an over-generalization?

Answer 7

Getting a low grade becomes a self statement of not understanding anything. (I got one C, I am stupid)

Question 8

What is a “looking glass self”?

Answer 8

projecting opinions onto others as to what they may be thinking about us and then making judgements based on those projections. (He thinks I am dumb becuase I got a C, well you know what, he is really rude.”

Question 9

What is catastrophizing?

Answer 9

Blowing one underachievement into a rash false generalization. “I don’t know as much as student doctor Klymochko, I will be a bad doctor.” (however we all know that no one knows as much as Dr. Klymochko”

Question 10

How does on improve self esteem?

Answer 10

• rest, exercise, diet
• have a social life and relax
• reward yourself
• be mindful of your strengths and achievements

Question 11

What is the teflon/velcro change for improving self esteem?

Answer 11

-let credit and achievment stick and harsh/unfair criticism slide off

Question 12

What is a commitment

Answer 12

a pledge or promise

Question 13

What are typicall causes of harmful conflict (crossed transaction)?

Answer 13

• Typically issue of power and control
• -double standards
• -manipulating others
• -economic inequities
• -name calling
• -abuses (physical, emotional, sexual)

Question 14

What is an example of conflict resolution by Taking responsibility?

Answer 14

• no collaboration or compromise necessary

- -one partner has a complaint and the other just listens and offers an opinion

Question 15

how is conflict resolved by sharing responsibility? Is compromise necessary?

Answer 15

• compromise is necessary

- active or reflective listening can enhance understanding and cooperation

Question 16

What is reflective listening?

Answer 16

I (fill in the blank with an emotion) … freak out
(worry), get pissed, etc.
When you (fill in the blank with a behavior) …
don’t come home when you say, don’t wash
the dishes, etc.
So I want (fill in the blank with preferred behavior)
… coming home on time, helping with
dishes, etc.
In return, I’ll (fill in the blank with your behavior)
… come home on time, take my turn with
dishes, etc.

Question 17

What is the rule of two plus one plus one

Answer 17

-helps to set limits and end guilt
-Two positive, plus one negative, plus one positive.
E.g.
1. Positive: I’m interested in this project and
2. Positive: I enjoy working with you,
3. Negative: but I can’t stay tonight.
4. Positive: I can do it first thing in the morning if that will help.

Question 18

How is effective communication associated with reduced risk of malpractice suits?

Answer 18

Physicians without claims:

1. educated patients more about what to expect
2. laughed and used humor more
3. solicit patients’ opinions, checked understanding and encouraged them to talk
4. spend slightly longer in routine visits

Question 19

Take home message:

Answer 19

Self-esteem–> effective communication–> healthy relationships and successful practice