self esteem Flashcards
experiment on self esteem in module
-when asked what they want for their children adults listed only positive things
self hood
social achievement
self esteem
researchers define it as the driving force that accounts every child for success or failure as a human being
wordless messages
- when looking at wordless messages we see that even before words, a child gathered generalized impressions about themselves and how they are treated
- building e relationship with the child before they can talk (e.g. playing games like peek-a-boo)
word messages
- have the power to build self respect or shredded in a child
- some of our first words towards children are expressions of joy and appreciation while cuddling them we speak to them softly and sing to them
- these word messages along with the touch represent what researchers call a ‘warm delight’ on the part of the parent
positive and warped mirrors
-each significant other is a mirror to which the child sees themselves
-a positive identity hinges on a positive life experience
as parents and caregivers, our reflections to children of who they are as we see them has a powerful effect on the growing edges of their self hood
-the looking glass self: i am not what i think i am, i am not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am
building blocks of self esteem
- genuine encounter
- safety of trust
- safety of non- judgement
- safety of being cherished
- safety of owning feelings
- safety of empathy
- safety of unique growth
genuine encounter
- focused attention
- adults are to be present= says i care
- grandparents do things with their grandchildren that they didn’t have time to do with their own children, make them the priority
- periodic time away is acceptable
- participate in active listening
- enjoy quality family time
safety of trust
- done by keeping promises , avoid surprises, support adventure, share relevant info
- avoid mixed messages, use age appropriate honesty
- set rules and boundaries, avoid being too accommodating
- do not dilute messages, have open ownership of feelings
- use moments to teach children expected behaviour
- use age appropriate explanations
safety of non-judgement
- being negative creates negativity
- avoid being judgmental
- being supportive using “I” statements e.g. “I appreciate”, “I like”
- avoid “if” statements, as a child should not have to question their personal worth
- display unconditional support, there has to be separation between the child’s worth and their performance
safety of being cherished
- children survive but don’t blossom on acceptance
- children need to feel loved and to be treated as precious and valuable
- avoid transferring own feeling on to children
- a child who is loved and cherished learns that poor behaviour does not cancel lovability
safety of owning feelings
-let children own feelings
-be accepting and permit individual opinion
avoid acting on misinformation
safety of empathy
- comfort and understanding brings warmth safety (bridges the gap of alienation)
- listen with your heart and then your head
- this nurturing enables an child to express feels and opinions
- in homes of children with high self esteem, there is a great deal of free and easy talk among the children
safety of unique growth
- children mature at different rates
- digression in children’s development can be caused by a new baby being born into the family with the toddler then as the toddler acting as the baby
- we do not need to push, or forbid development
- researchers say that as children face challenges they should settle for safety first
