Section 3: Positive Approaches

Question 1

1. Behavioral Complaints

Answer 1

• providing specific descriptions of behaviors that were perceived as upset; no generalizations!
• focus on behaviors, not the person
• BEST to move from attributional arguments

Question 2

2. Accounts

Answer 2

• explanations for one’s behavior, explain the “why”
• frame so gives “shared meaning”
• helps the violated one to move on, can help to forgive

Question 3

3. Argumnetativeness

Answer 3

• logical argument + reasoning
• confront problem directly, recog issues
• No name-calling done
• opposite of “communication skills deficit”

Question 4

4. Calming Down

Answer 4

• BEST way to avoid engaging in hurtful msgs.

Revolutionary Rd-her

Question 5

5. Accommodation Principle
6. Accommodation occurs…
   - couples in satisfying relationships….
   - when accommodate successfully, prompts…

Answer 5

• have tendency to retaliate when their partner engages in destructive behavior.
• occurs when ARE ABLE to overcome initial tendency to engage in cooperative comm. NOT the same as yielding!
• more likely to engage in this.
• pattern of positive reciprocity

Question 6

6. Reciprocal Positivity

Answer 6

BOTH engage in cooperative strategies