Polyamory, mononormativity and polyqueer kinship

Question 1

Define Polyamory

Answer 1

• multi-adult relationships
• been around for a long time
• being in committed and loving relationships with more than one person
• informal

Question 2

Define Polygamy

Answer 2

• refers to legal marriage to more than one person
• illegal in lots of parts in the west

Question 3

Define Polygyny

Answer 3

marriage between a man and multiple women

Question 4

Define Polyandry

Answer 4

marriage between a women and multiple men

Question 5

Relationship Subculture

Answer 5

shared beliefs, practices and meanings for intimacy and relationships that differ from the dominant or mainstream culture

Question 6

What do Contemporary Polyamory subcultures reject?

Answer 6

the sexual double standard
- that says that men’s status is enhanced by more sexual partners and women’s status is compromised by multiple sexual partners

Question 7

Impacts of polyamory relationships to Women

Answer 7

• stronger sense of sexual agency and autonomy
• reported that the best part was developing friendships with other women, including their partner’s parter (sister relationships

Question 8

Impacts of polyamory relationships to Men

Answer 8

• generally fall into two main categories:
  1. to do polyamory well, men need to question their own jealousy/possessiveness - had to learn and celebrate their partners sexual encounters with others
  2. alpha male syndrome - men reported feeling more masculine because they were able to have multiple women partners at the same time, this enhanced their status as alpha males (one-penis policy)

Question 9

explain the One Penis Policy

Answer 9

the men who reported feeling more masculine were often in polyamorous relationships with multiple women, but their partners were not in relationships with other men.

Question 10

What does the question “aren’t you jealous” imply?

Answer 10

1. if one’s partner has sexual or emotionally intimate relationships with others, jealousy is inevitable
2. jealousy must be avoided
3. because jealousy is inevitable and intolerable, it makes sense to actively prevent a partner from having emotionally or sexually intimate relationships with another person
4. monogamy is the best way to avoid jealousy

Question 11

What are some innovations for how to experience and do intimate relationships?

Answer 11

• gender egalitarianism and rejections of the double standard
• reject the idea that jealousy is legitimate, inevitable and can be avoided through monogamy

Question 12

What is compersion

Answer 12

• we make the assumption that jealousy is a sign of love and care
• compersion is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others

Question 13

What is the sociological significance of the label Metamour

Answer 13

• it has a become a role in polyamorous relationships
• a partner’s partner
• significance lies in the existence of norms and generally shared expectations, so when they are violated, individuals have a language and set of strategies for addressing the violation (opening lines of communication)

Question 14

Polynormativity vs. Polyqueer relationships

Answer 14

• polynormativity refers to ways of doing polyamory that reproduces social inequality
• polyqueer relationships that include more than two adults and, in practice, challenge or diminish social hierarchies based on gender and race

Question 15

Define mononormativity

Answer 15

refers to the ways in which social life (including our collective beliefs, interactions, relationships, and social institutions) are set up to systematically privilege people who are or appear to be in monogamous, couple relationships and disadvantage those who are not (i.e., are single or polyamorous)

Question 16

What does it mean to be systemically privileged?

Answer 16

that social life is structured based on a set of assumptions about what is a good, moral, and natural way to do emotionally and sexually intimate relationships, and those who do not adhere to being “good” or “moral” by being single or having more than one partner are denied resources, authority, and prestige because of their relationship status

Question 17

List some assumptions related to mononormativity

Answer 17

• monogamous = mature adulthood
• not settling down with one person is selfish
• long term monogamy = happy ever after
• people searching for “the one” or a “soul mate”
• children are better off with a two-parent household

Question 18

Contemporary Journalist’s portrayals of FLDS polygamy

Answer 18

• women and children are victims of polygamy, not of men
• women and children in monogamous marriage are NOT victims of monogamy

Question 19

By assuming that polygamy is the main cause of abuse, what do journalists ignore?

Answer 19

they ignore how in most cases of abuse, gender structures power dynamics and the distribution of resources, and gender inequality is an important causal factor for abuse in monogamous and polygamous, heterosexual marriages

Question 20

Besides living the “good life” and being a “good citizen”, what else do mononormative narratives support?

Answer 20

support other systems of inequality such as gender, race, class and colonial imperialism

Question 21

Polyqueer Kinship

Answer 21

• refers to networks of belonging that are based on mutual interdependence, care, and responsibility instead of monogamous marriage, genetic ancestry, and biological children
• is based on building affective ties, care networks, and resource-sharing responsibilities with more than two adults and their children
• Rather than being closed off by marriage or genetic lines, polyqueer kinship is permeable and can grow horizontally and stretch to accommodate more adults and children