Intimacy and Vulnerability Flashcards
what is outercourse?
how to engage in sexual and sensual activity without an exchange of sexual bodily fluids
what are some flaws in sexual education?
- focus too much on infection and pregnancy prevention
- not enough exploration of the positive/pleasureable aspects of sex
- mechanisms of sex and anatomy can encourage a “performative” response
- need to address issues of self-worth, self-esteem, self-love as key aspects of sexuality
how do negative, judgmental, and stigmatizing images around sex manifest?
through shame
what is shame?
intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging
where do we inherit a lot of our understandings and expectations around sex and intimacy?
our families, cultures, and socieities
how does Fischer describe vulnerability?
- vulnerability is raw, real, emotionally trusting, and choosing to gently dismantle your walls of protection
- all of this harder when you’ve been hurt before or because it was never role-modeled for you
- vulnerability allows us to feel our fears, but it also allows us to feel deeper joy
how does Brene Brown describe connection?
- gives purpose and meaning to our lives
- shame = the fear of disconnection
how do we deal with vulnerability according to Brown?
- we numb everything – joy, hapiness, gratitude
- we make everything uncertain certain (fear)
- we perfect ourselves and others
- we pretend, but our actions have consequences and affect other people
what is a major critique of Brene Brown’s TEDTalk?
very individualistic perspective: there are circumstances…are you safe to be vulnerable – sometimes we mask to be accepted but also maybe to be safe
what is mindfulness?
choosing to focus your attention in the moment and choosing not to attach judgment to what you notice
what is at the foundation of intimacy?
vulnerability
what is a consequence of our fear of vulnerability?
shutting down/performing/conforming and it is a barrier to initimacy
how can we support becoming vulnerable and having more satisfying sexual experience?
applied mindfulness – being in touch with who we are
what is compassion?
noticing the discomfort or suffering in oneself and/or another and wanting to do something to alleviate it, it is not pity, it is viewing all humans as equal and deserving of kindness and a relief from suffering
what activites count as sexual coercion?
- guilting the other person
- giving them the silent treatment or being rude if they decline sex
- trying to repeatedly to do something even after they have said no
- making it harder for them to leave
- intentionally trying to get them drunk
- knowing that the other person likes you and pushing to get what you want even if they seem reluctant
