Personal Relationships and Sexuality Flashcards
Communicating with Others
Building healthy, lasting relationships with others requires good communication.
Communication occurs in two overlying forms:
-talking and listening
-non-verbal communication
Talking and Listening
Perhaps the biggest challenge is communicating emotions effectively.
-rather than demonstrating anger by slamming a door, for instance, it is important to explain the cause of the anger and how it can be potentially mitigated.
Listening is more than just waiting for the other person to stop talking.
-important to understand the other person’s feelings and motivation
-consider asking questions in efforts to better understand what the person talking means.
-also consider reflecting on your role as the listener
Non-verbal Communication
Accounts for more than 90% of communication.
Includes eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture.
Important to interpret non-verbal language so potential issues can be dealt with before they spike.
Forming Relationships
Start by understanding ourselves.
Self-esteem helps us to respect and value ourselves, which in turn, enables us to be our true selves in relationships leading to better, long-lasting relationships.
Low self-esteem and high neuroticism linked to more jealousy in relationships.
Friendships
The bond of society.
Friends provide happiness, connection to the larger world, solace in times of trouble or need, support and nurturance.
We have the capacity to meaningfully connect with about 150 people at a given time (according to Dunbar).
Important qualities in friends include honesty, acceptance, dependability, empathy, and loyalty.
Hooking Up
Sexual activity with a casual partner who may be a friend or a stranger.
When engaging in casual sex, many young women report…
-persistent depressive symptoms
-shame and self-blame due largely to not knowing about their partner’s past sexual history which can lead to potential health risks and a lack of future contact.
Young men, when engaging in casual sex report disappointment in choosing an unattractive or undesirable partner.
Overall, men report more positive reactions and fewer negative reactions to hooking up.
Dating
An occasion during which two people share their time.
In a study with 500 heterosexual cisgender undergraduate students, 40$ reported using a dating app though probably higher now.
Another study looked at dating protocol and beliefs amongst undergraduates, finding…
-positive perception of sexual expression for males and females.
-sex brought couples closer together.
-sex did not have to be the central reason to date
-it was normal for men to initiate sex, and normal for women to wait for men to initiate dates
-pressure to have sex when one was not ready was seen in a negative way.
-both males and females saw women or men conveying sexual desires as positive.
Intimacy
The open, trusting, sharing of close, confidential thoughts and feelings.
Requires time and nurturing.
A process of revealing rather than hiding.
Often includes a sexual relationship.
The science of romantic love
Involves a psychological view and biomechanical view.
Psychological View of Romantic Love (according to Sternberg)
Love viewed as a triable with three components including intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Also six types of love identified:
1) liking/intimacy
2) infatuation/passion
3) romantic love
4) compassionate love
5) fatuous love
6) consummate love
Note that commitment/empty love not included as a type of love.
Liking/Intimacy
Intimacy friends share
Infatuation/Passion
Passion that stems from physical and emotional attraction
Romantic Love
a combination of intimacy and passion
Compassionate love
a deep, emotional bond in a relationship that may have had romantic components
Fatuous love
a combination of passion and commitment in two people who lack a deep emotional intimacy
