Need to review terms Flashcards
Instrumentality
Attraction is based on someone helping us meet our goals
- Maybe our goals are to have children
- Maybe the goal is to meet someone who shares the same interests
- We are attracted to what would help us get what we want
Mate Value
Overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner
Stimulus Value Role Theory
*be sure to talk about around now many interactions for each one
We gain three different broad types of information about our partners as a new relationship develops
Stimulus information stage
Attracts us to one another, and this involves age, sex, physical appearance
Generally you have little information about the person but there is something that attracts you to them
Why are you swiping right on tinder?
Could be superficial things
Value stage
Attraction depends on similarity in attitudes and beliefs
Role compatibility stage
Determining compatibility becomes important when people find out if they feel similar about important things
Whether or not someone deems that person as a compatible future partner
Values and beliefs is what gets us to want to know them event more
Attracted to someone while all the other factors come into play as well
Social Cognition
All the processes we use to take in, remember and use information in social contexts to explain and predict our own
Primacy effect
An individual’s tendency to better remember the first piece of information they encounter than the information they receive later on.
Reconstructive memories
memories are altered as we receive new information
We may jump into a conclusion but as we gain more information we are more likely to transform the way we think about it
Have our initial thought about somethings and as we gain more information the way we see things change
Ex: date someone and think they are amazing, break up, hear things from other people and reconstruct your memory of the relationship
Implicit Attitudes
Unintentional and automatic judgements that are evident when our partners come to mind
Rapid thing that comes to mind
Ex: Your roommate and you were good friends and have not talked in a few years and you have this reaction when you hear their name again
Can be good or bad
Whatever comes to your mind without effort
Transference
Unconsciously bring past experiences into our reactions with current partners
When you had a previous experience and pull it forward even if it is irrelevant to that specific situation
Ex: Been cheated on in the past in a different relationship and respond to a current partner the way you would have responded to your past partner that cheated on you
Can work in the other realm (cause you to act more positively)
Actor Observer Effects
When we see someone do something we think it is about internal causes but if we do the same behavior we associate it with external causes
Not something we have control over
Not our fault
If someone does something we are more likely to blame it on how they are as a person or internal causes that we can control
Ex: If you are late for a date you think it is because the bus broke down. BUT if someone else is late for a date you think that it is because they do not value your time
Why do we do this?
We do not like to blame ourselves
We want to be in the right
We want to think we do things for the good
We do not want to look bad
Relationship enhancing Attributes
Where we attribute someones positive actions on them being a good person
Those that attribute positive behaviours to dispositional causes
Ex: My partner bought me flowers so he cares about me
Distress-maintaining Attributes
Occur when people place responsibility on their partners for their bad behaviours, but interpret their partner’s positive behaviours in a more negative light
Ex: Your partner is always late to pick you up from work and you think is it because they are disrespectful and do not care about your time
Weaponized Incompetence
(what is another word for this)
Where people act as though they are incapable of doing something in order for someone else to do it for you
Ex: tell your roommate you cannot do the dishes because you are not as good as them at it
Ex; Group projects
Ex: “Can’t” do things like taking the garbage out
Not necessary to be malicious
Can be those smaller things but can be massive
Ex: Dad says he doesn’t know how to change diapers so you can change them all
Another word
Supplication
Social Penetration Theory
As relationships develop, interpersonal communication moves from relatively shallow, non-intimate levels to deeper, more intimate ones
Beginning Relationship -> Superficial Level
Superficial topics
Ex: weather
Developing Relationship -> Intimate level
More intimate
Close Relationship -> Very intimate level
Very personal
Ex: values
Closeness between two people involves communication increases in
Breadth: variety of topics they discuss
Depth: the personal significance of the topics they discuss
Like peeling an onion, breath (variety) plus depth with time
Superficial -> intimate (about us, opinion) -> personal (feelings) -> core (ex: biggest fear)
Orientation Stage
Small talk
Creates impressions, social
Exploratory Affective Stage
Test disclosure
Use response to shape further disclosure
Affective stage
Disclose more private information
Can disagree
Stable Stage
Self disclose
Open
Can predict responses
In therapy and AA groups, we start with the stable stage
Self disclose and are very open
Interpersonal Model of intimacy
True intimacy develops when
People engage in self disclosure
The relationship is authentic, honest, and involves openness
Both partners are responsive
They have to recognize that the other person is being responsive
Perceived partner responsiveness: judgment that one’s partner is understanding and caring
Approach goals are met but Avoidance goals are Thwarted
what are the words for the other ones
Precarious
Boring, flourishing, distressed
