Midterm Part 1 Flashcards
What are the 7 steps of self-betrayal
- Self Betrayal
- Begin to see the world in a way that justifies
my self betrayal. - My view of reality becomes distorted.
- I enter the box
- Boxes become characteristic of me, and I
carry them with me. - I provoke others to be in the box.
- Mutual mistreatment and justification.
Collusion in giving each other reason to stay
in the box.
An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another. EX: Bud thought he should get up with the baby so Nancy could sleep, made the choice not to honor it.
Self-betrayal
Begin to see the world in a way that vindicates my self-betrayal.
Justification
My view of reality becomes warped, because I see it in a self-justifying way
Distortion
I see others as mere objects, instead of as people.
In the box
The form my boxes take as I carry them with me into new situations.
Characteristics
By being in the box, I invite others to be in the box as well.
Provoke
In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification; give each other reason to stay in the box.
Collusion
In the box-we see others as mere objects.
Out of the box-we see ourselves and others as we are, as people.
Perceptions In and out of the box
Have a desire to be out
See people as people
Stop resisting the call of other’s humanity
How to get out of the box
- Unconscious Incompetence
- Conscious Incompetence
- Conscious Competence
- Unconscious Competence
Stages of Learning
Don’t know you don’t know. Can’t do what you can’t do.
Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence
Aware of what we can’t do. Moving towards learning.
Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence
Practice brings competence and learning
Stage 3: Conscious Competence
Habit of expectation 10000 hour rule: become an expert
Stage 4: Unconscious Competence
According to most which stage of learning is the “goal” or “most important stage? At this stage we are confident in our ability and not inhibited.
Conscious Competence
Courage to try and do something better, take a leap of faith
Ex: Teacher learning to use a mac for the first time, felt stupid at first
Vulnerability
Linking something you understand, something you already have in your head
to something you don’t understand
Known vs Unknown
What are Brockriede’s three argumentative stances
Rapist (abuser, bully)
Seducer (manipulator, beguiler)
Lover (equal, team player)
What are the two unilateral argumentative stances and why?
The rapist and seducer are unilateral because they are about power and superiority. They see their coarguers as objects and are indifferent to them.
Rapist=censorship (argument silenced, not able to present)
You can’t have an argument with:
Inanimate (unable or unwilling to communicate)
Illogical (out of control emotionally)
Immoral (no principles, no rules)
Which argumentative stance is bilateral and why?
Lover is a bilateral stance because we are seeing people as people.I equality, team work)
Motivated by power and a desire to remain superior. They see coarguers as objects or someone that is beneath them and use force to succeed. They might manipulate a situation so they have more power than his victim or take advantage of a situation of power, like a manager and subordinate in the workplace.
Rapist
More subtle. They like to use charm and share less than the truth to win approval or agreement. I liken it to using smoke and mirrors. They tell just enough of the truth to be believable but withhold a little something or stretch the truth to their benefit, and to win over their coarguer.
Seducer
Very different from rapists and seducers. They see a person and want equality. They want approval or agreement to be given freely and to have an open and honest discussion. A couple of examples I can think of would be a husband/wife, parent/child, or even best friends.
Lover
Aggression (Fight)
Avoidance (Flight)
Collaboration (Work Together)
3 main types of family environment for conflicts
