Lecture: Conflict

Question 0

Understand and be able to compare and contrast destructive and constructive conflict.

Answer 0

–Destructive conflict-a conflict spiraling down and involving domination, competition, inflexibility, cross complaining, verbal and nonverbal assaults, and retaliation. Initial goals are forgotten by all parties. Hurting the other person becomes the primary focus. And sometimes leads to flooding-one’s breathing and heart rate increases, muscles tense up, cognitive function decreases, one longs for escape and relief.

–Constructive conflict-conflict where we orientation, cooperation, and flexibility are utilized. May be frustrating and contentious. Both parties:
1. Work hard to de-escalate conflict
2. Work towards mutually satisfactory solution through negotiation
3. Are assertive, not aggressive or passive
4. avoid personal attacks, dismantling other’s thoughts, shouting, shifting the issue, and blaming
Avoid verbal/nonverbal “disconfirming” responses.

Question 1

Know statistics on prevalence of conflict in the workplace and personal lives.

Answer 1

1. A typical manager spends 25 to 40% of his time dealing with workplace conflicts.
2. More than 50% of employers report having been sued by an employee.
3. 33% of people working for organizations reported yelling at a coworker.
4. 25% of American women will experience violence by an intimate partner sometime during her lifetime. Women age 16 to 24 are most at risk.
5. On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in the US daily.

Question 2

Know parts of and be able to apply collaborating communication style for resolving conflicts.

Answer 2

1. Confrontation-explicit recognition that conflict exists. (Opposite of avoidance):
   A. Avoid disconfirming responses
   B. Do not use confrontation excessively. Reserve for cases really important to you.
   C. Do not use in an inappropriate time(When someone just woke up or is in a hurry)
2. Integration-identifying true goals of both parties, and reconciling these goals in a mutually satisfactory way. Quite tricky.
3. Smoothing- working to calm the agitated other person:
   A. Avoid disconfirming responses
   B. If you said something you recognize you shouldn’t have quickly apologize and take it back
   C. Be asymmetrical. When the other person is exhibiting anger, stay very calm.
   D. Probe. Ask for more info from the other person about why they are angry or upset.

If your anger level is too high, you will be unable to use collaborating style

Question 3

Understand competing communication style for resolving conflicts.

Answer 3

Competition-handling conflict as a win/lose contest, where you pressure the other person to change their ways to your advantage. The least effective style. Characterized by the use of:
A. Threats and attacks
B. Criticism and blame
C. Contempt and hostile remarks
D. Jokes and sarcasm
E. Denial of one's own responsibility

Question 4

Know how to use communication style wisely.

Answer 4

• Always begin with collaborating style. It is extremely hard to switch to collaborating after you or your partner have competed.
• Recognize early when you or your partner trying to engage in competing style and quickly stop it
• Even if your partner refuses, stick to collaborating style yourself, this is more constructive than conflict escalation