Interpersonal Exam #3 Flashcards
interpersonal attraction
a relational force that draws people together
the things that draw us to our friends are the things that draw us romantically
task attraction
when you are attracted to someone based on their ability to help you complete a task or accomplish a goal
physical attraction
being attracted to someone based on the way they look
social attraction
being attracted to someone because we enjoy being around them and interacting with them
elements of interpersonal attraction
similarity proximity physical appearance complimentary characteristics credibility reciprocity
similarity
number one force of interpersonal attraction
proximity
we are attracted to people that are physically close to us
we have increased opportunities to interact with these people
physical appearance
a piece of beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
2 indicators that are true cross-culturally
-symmetry
-proportionality
often times, beauty is tied to whatever is affluent
complimentary characteristics
the other person has skills and abilities that complement you in a relationship
doesn’t work when talking about things such as beliefs or values
credibility
we are attracted to people who are competent, confident, credible, and capable
not cocky
reciprocity
we are attracted to people who are attracted to us
pupil dilation
-when we look at someone beautiful, our pupils dilate
-when our pupils are larger, we are seen as more attractive
Duck’s Filtering Theory of attraction
tells us who we will and won’t be attracted to
each step acts as a filter to eliminate people we won’t be attracted to
steps
-sociological cues
–deals with our opportunity to meet people
-pre-interaction cues
–things that happen before we actually talk with a person (looks, dress)
–determines our approach behavior
-interaction cues
–things that happen when we meet and interact with the person
-cognitive cues
–how the person thinks, what they believe
social exchange theory
takes a business or economic model and applies it to a relationship
we want our rewards in relationships to outweigh our costs
rewards and costs
rewards -any sort of profit or gain from a relationship -people value rewards differently costs -exchanged resources that result in loss -people incur costs differently
outcomes
rewards minus costs
we want our rewards to exceed our costs
comparison level - CL
our expectations about the types of outcomes we believe we should be receiving
our expectations for romantic relationships come from three sources
-past relationships
-parents
–if parents are positive it raises our CL
-media
satisfaction
-outcome minus CL is positive = satisfaction
comparison level of alternative - CLalt
the types of alternatives you perceive outside of your current relationship
often occurs in romantic relationships
-what could you be doing instead of being in this relationship
–spend time with friends
–pursue a hobby
commitment/stability
outcome minus CLalt is positive = commitment/stability
social exchange breakdown
outcome > CL and CLalt = satisfying, stable
CLalt > outcome > CL = satisfying, unstable
CL > outcome > CLalt = dissatisfying, stable
-common in abusive relationships
CL and CLalt > outcome = dissatisfying, unstable
characteristics of friendships
voluntary equality assistance and support -there for each other emotionally activity sharing -common interests disclosure and confidentiality
Knapp’s Stage Theory of Relationships assumptions
coming together is not necessarily good
coming apart is not necessarily bad
stage theory simplifies a complex process
stage theory is oriented towards romantic relationships
movement in stage theory
related to rewards and costs
stages in coming together
initiating experimenting intensifying integrating bonding
initiating
first greeting time
positive impression
demographic information
superficial
experimenting
can move quickly self-disclosure -not much depth impression management is important people are exchanging information to find a connection
intensifying
more gradual
self-disclosure deepens and broadens
commitment is growing and time together is increasing
declarations of commitment occur
integrating
occurs if people feel there is a solid base of affection
both people begin to fuse their personalities
breadth and depth of disclosure increases
people expect to see you together
bonding
making the relationship public
making it entirely exclusive
for friends
-bridesmaids/groomsmen
stages in coming apart
differentiating circumscribing stagnating avoiding terminating
differentiating
both people begin to emphasize their differences over their similarities
may begin to argue over these differences
a lot of healthy friendships can cycle thorough this stage
circumscribing
occurs when you rope a topic off as off limits
because you don’t talk about it, communication lacks breadth and depth
may resemble small talk
-purpose is to separate
stagnating
relational standstill
avoiding
characterized by physical and psychological separation
terminating
the end of the relationship
physical termination is pretty abrupt
psychological distance can be more gradual
reasons for relationship termination
context -geographical -social --what do friends and family thing --friends and family generally see our relationships with less bias than we do lack of fulfillment -needs and desires not met precipitating events -cheating -deception -big conflict -loss of child boredom -number 1 reason -"lost the spark"
relational maintenance strategies
positivity
-most important for satisfaction
-the number one thing people look for in a relationship is warmth
openness
-being willing to self-disclose
-romantic relationships need to be able to talk about the relationship
assurances
-assuring the other person of your commitment to the relationship
-typically verbal
social networks
-greater social circles merge together
sharing tasks/activities
-tasks: doing your fair share of the relationship
–the friend who always reaches out to set up times to hang out
dialectical theory (Baxter’s Dialectical Approach)
assumptions
- relationships are never stable, instead they are constantly changing
- dialectics are the push-and-pull of contradictory needs
- how you manage dialectic tensions will determine the change/direction of the relationship
dialectical internal tensions
within the relationship
connection vs. autonomy
-draw away from others vs. being drawn closer to others
-interdependent vs. independent
-plays out in how much time a couple spends together
predictability vs. novelty
-desire to reduce uncertainty vs. desire for spontaneity
openness vs. closedness
-need to be known vs. need for privacy
nonverbal intimacy components
indicate that we are either in a close relationship or want a close relationship close proximic distance forward lean eye contact direct body orientation smility touch vocal expressiveness
verbal intimacy components
self-disclosure
-especially true when sharing information that we wouldn’t normally share with anyone else
-indicates a deep sense of trust and connection
-primary way that we create trust through language
altercentrism
-focused on others
relationship talk
-using language to show your care for the relationship
-similar to assurance - this is more about showing you care about the relationship rather than the future
inclusive pronouns
-used to build stronger relationships with others
-shows how people think about things
casual forms of address
-nickname