Interpersonal Exam #3 Flashcards

1
Q

interpersonal attraction

A

a relational force that draws people together

the things that draw us to our friends are the things that draw us romantically

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2
Q

task attraction

A

when you are attracted to someone based on their ability to help you complete a task or accomplish a goal

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3
Q

physical attraction

A

being attracted to someone based on the way they look

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4
Q

social attraction

A

being attracted to someone because we enjoy being around them and interacting with them

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5
Q

elements of interpersonal attraction

A
similarity
proximity
physical appearance
complimentary characteristics
credibility
reciprocity
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6
Q

similarity

A

number one force of interpersonal attraction

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7
Q

proximity

A

we are attracted to people that are physically close to us

we have increased opportunities to interact with these people

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8
Q

physical appearance

A

a piece of beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
2 indicators that are true cross-culturally
-symmetry
-proportionality
often times, beauty is tied to whatever is affluent

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9
Q

complimentary characteristics

A

the other person has skills and abilities that complement you in a relationship
doesn’t work when talking about things such as beliefs or values

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10
Q

credibility

A

we are attracted to people who are competent, confident, credible, and capable
not cocky

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11
Q

reciprocity

A

we are attracted to people who are attracted to us
pupil dilation
-when we look at someone beautiful, our pupils dilate
-when our pupils are larger, we are seen as more attractive

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12
Q

Duck’s Filtering Theory of attraction

A

tells us who we will and won’t be attracted to
each step acts as a filter to eliminate people we won’t be attracted to
steps
-sociological cues
–deals with our opportunity to meet people
-pre-interaction cues
–things that happen before we actually talk with a person (looks, dress)
–determines our approach behavior
-interaction cues
–things that happen when we meet and interact with the person
-cognitive cues
–how the person thinks, what they believe

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13
Q

social exchange theory

A

takes a business or economic model and applies it to a relationship
we want our rewards in relationships to outweigh our costs

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14
Q

rewards and costs

A
rewards
-any sort of profit or gain from a relationship
-people value rewards differently
costs
-exchanged resources that result in loss
-people incur costs differently
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15
Q

outcomes

A

rewards minus costs

we want our rewards to exceed our costs

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16
Q

comparison level - CL

A

our expectations about the types of outcomes we believe we should be receiving
our expectations for romantic relationships come from three sources
-past relationships
-parents
–if parents are positive it raises our CL
-media
satisfaction
-outcome minus CL is positive = satisfaction

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17
Q

comparison level of alternative - CLalt

A

the types of alternatives you perceive outside of your current relationship
often occurs in romantic relationships
-what could you be doing instead of being in this relationship
–spend time with friends
–pursue a hobby

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18
Q

commitment/stability

A

outcome minus CLalt is positive = commitment/stability

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19
Q

social exchange breakdown

A

outcome > CL and CLalt = satisfying, stable
CLalt > outcome > CL = satisfying, unstable
CL > outcome > CLalt = dissatisfying, stable
-common in abusive relationships
CL and CLalt > outcome = dissatisfying, unstable

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20
Q

characteristics of friendships

A
voluntary
equality
assistance and support
-there for each other emotionally
activity sharing
-common interests
disclosure and confidentiality
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21
Q

Knapp’s Stage Theory of Relationships assumptions

A

coming together is not necessarily good
coming apart is not necessarily bad
stage theory simplifies a complex process
stage theory is oriented towards romantic relationships

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22
Q

movement in stage theory

A

related to rewards and costs

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23
Q

stages in coming together

A
initiating
experimenting
intensifying
integrating
bonding
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24
Q

initiating

A

first greeting time
positive impression
demographic information
superficial

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25
Q

experimenting

A
can move quickly
self-disclosure
-not much depth
impression management is important
people are exchanging information to find a connection
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26
Q

intensifying

A

more gradual
self-disclosure deepens and broadens
commitment is growing and time together is increasing
declarations of commitment occur

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27
Q

integrating

A

occurs if people feel there is a solid base of affection
both people begin to fuse their personalities
breadth and depth of disclosure increases
people expect to see you together

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28
Q

bonding

A

making the relationship public
making it entirely exclusive
for friends
-bridesmaids/groomsmen

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29
Q

stages in coming apart

A
differentiating
circumscribing
stagnating
avoiding
terminating
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30
Q

differentiating

A

both people begin to emphasize their differences over their similarities
may begin to argue over these differences
a lot of healthy friendships can cycle thorough this stage

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31
Q

circumscribing

A

occurs when you rope a topic off as off limits
because you don’t talk about it, communication lacks breadth and depth
may resemble small talk
-purpose is to separate

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32
Q

stagnating

A

relational standstill

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33
Q

avoiding

A

characterized by physical and psychological separation

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34
Q

terminating

A

the end of the relationship
physical termination is pretty abrupt
psychological distance can be more gradual

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35
Q

reasons for relationship termination

A
context
-geographical
-social
--what do friends and family thing
--friends and family generally see our relationships with less bias than we do
lack of fulfillment
-needs and desires not met
precipitating events
-cheating
-deception
-big conflict
-loss of child
boredom
-number 1 reason
-"lost the spark"
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36
Q

relational maintenance strategies

A

positivity
-most important for satisfaction
-the number one thing people look for in a relationship is warmth
openness
-being willing to self-disclose
-romantic relationships need to be able to talk about the relationship
assurances
-assuring the other person of your commitment to the relationship
-typically verbal
social networks
-greater social circles merge together
sharing tasks/activities
-tasks: doing your fair share of the relationship
–the friend who always reaches out to set up times to hang out

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37
Q

dialectical theory (Baxter’s Dialectical Approach)

A

assumptions

  • relationships are never stable, instead they are constantly changing
  • dialectics are the push-and-pull of contradictory needs
  • how you manage dialectic tensions will determine the change/direction of the relationship
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38
Q

dialectical internal tensions

A

within the relationship
connection vs. autonomy
-draw away from others vs. being drawn closer to others
-interdependent vs. independent
-plays out in how much time a couple spends together
predictability vs. novelty
-desire to reduce uncertainty vs. desire for spontaneity
openness vs. closedness
-need to be known vs. need for privacy

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39
Q

nonverbal intimacy components

A
indicate that we are either in a close relationship or want a close relationship
close proximic distance
forward lean
eye contact
direct body orientation
smility
touch
vocal expressiveness
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40
Q

verbal intimacy components

A

self-disclosure
-especially true when sharing information that we wouldn’t normally share with anyone else
-indicates a deep sense of trust and connection
-primary way that we create trust through language
altercentrism
-focused on others
relationship talk
-using language to show your care for the relationship
-similar to assurance - this is more about showing you care about the relationship rather than the future
inclusive pronouns
-used to build stronger relationships with others
-shows how people think about things
casual forms of address
-nickname

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41
Q

Lee’s Love Styles

A
eros
storge
ludis
mania
agape
pragma
42
Q

eros

A

physical love
finding someone physically attractive/beautiful
maintaining a sense of eros in a long term relationship is important

43
Q

storge

A

companionate love
love based on friendship
high degree of sharing tasks and activities

44
Q

ludis

A

game playing love
see relationships as casual and playful
avoid commitment
like to play the field

45
Q

mania

A

possessive love
love that is demanding and dependent (on being in a relationship)
always need to be in a relationship
high degree of need to be in control
tend to experience extremes in relationships

46
Q

agape

A

unselfish love
you’re more focused on giving than receiving
in line with 1 Cor. 13
goal is to meet the needs of the other person
can lead to your needs not being met
can be taken advantage of
can cause a lot of guilt in the other person

47
Q

pragma

A

practical love
look for an individual that meets the characteristics you think will work well with you
common sense approach to love
rational

48
Q

sex differences with love styles

A

women score higher in storge, mania, and pragma

men score higher in ludis

49
Q

what is conflict

A

an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive that they have incompatible goals

50
Q

conflict myths

A

conflict always damages relationships
-negative conflict can hurt a relationship
-productive conflict can hurt a relationship
conflict can always be avoided
conflict always occurs because of misunderstanding
conflict is always the sign of a poor relationship
conflict can always be resolved

51
Q

conflict styles

A
based on two things
-concern for self
--scale of passive to assertive
-concern for others
--scale of uncooperative to cooperative
avoiding
accommodating
competing
compromising
collaborating
52
Q

avoiding

A

denial of conflict
changing topics, making jokes
lose, lose situation - won’t cooperate but won’t assert yourself

53
Q

accommodating

A

lose, win

  • don’t assert individual needs
  • put others before yourself
54
Q

competing

A

win, lose

-can come off as uncaring

55
Q

compromising

A

moderately everything

trade-offs and exchanges

56
Q

collaborating

A

win, win
high in assertiveness and cooperativeness
most constructive
like to create a new solution that satisfies both parties
takes a lot of time and energy
involves coming up with a new and creative solution
both parties have to collaborate

57
Q

if used on a regular basis…

A

competing and avoiding put a negative strain on relationships
-erodes commitment, trust, and satisfaction
collaboration, compromising, and accommodating nourish relationships
-result of a high concern for others

58
Q

conflict goals

A

content
relational
identity/face-saving
process

59
Q

content

A
deal with "what do we want?"
can be listed and described
2 struggles
-we want different things
-we wand the same thing
60
Q

relational goals

A

who are we to each other?

deal with “how do I want to be treated; how much time do we spend together”

61
Q

identity/face-saving goals

A

when our goals focus on us in the interaction
-“who am I in this interaction”
goal is to protect self from humiliation, embarrassment, exclusion

62
Q

process goals

A

how we deal with conflict
what process will be used to manage conflict
questions
-how formally/informally will conflict be dealt with

63
Q

attributions and conflict

A
giving a cause to people's behavior
attributions in conflict
-attributions for negative behaviors
--internal/external
-who caused the conflict
--irony of the situation
--"your fault"
---leads to avoiding/competing
--"my fault"
---leads to collaborating/compromise/accommodating
-avoid undue negative attributions
64
Q

rules for positive conflict management

A
define the problem and the goals
avoid evaluative stagements
-focus on descriptive statements
avoid gunny-sacking
-storing up problems and unleashing them all at once
-two responses
--get defensive
--gunny-sack back
manage emotions
perspective taking (other oriented)
65
Q

types of communication at work

A

upward communication
downward communication
horizontal communication
outward communication

66
Q

upward communication

A

subordinate to superior
diluted communication
-make yourself look better

67
Q

downward communication

A

superior to supordinate

68
Q

horizontal communication

A
communication among peers
people with similar power
more casual
more disclosure
gossip
69
Q

outward communication

A

someone inside the organization to someone outside the organization
exemplified in sales position
polite
informative

70
Q

types of power

A
what is power
-ability to influence others
-ability to resist others' influence attempts
legitimate
referent
expert
reward
coercive
71
Q

legitimate

A

power based in the position

respect for the position

72
Q

referent

A

power based in attraction

due to being likeable, charismatic, physically attractive

73
Q

expert

A

power based on a person’s knowledge, experience, or skills

everyone is an expert in something

74
Q

reward

A

ability to give a reward/satisfy a need

one of the most underutilized types of rewards is praise and recognition

75
Q

coercive

A

the ability to punish

76
Q

leadership styles

A

the behavioral patterns a person enacts when they are trying to lead
task-oriented
person-oriented
Laissez-Faire style

77
Q

task-oriented (authoritarian)

A

exercise direct control over people
specify what needs to be done and how to do it
more effective when the leader is the expert
accomplish more work

78
Q

person-oriented (democratic)

A

suggest ways of proceeding
encourage groups to determine what will actually be done
stronger relationships are formed under this style
more time but more creativity

79
Q

Laissez-Faire style

A

do nothing

the worst style

80
Q

family defined

A

traditional
-husband, wife, children all living in same house together
-focuses on blood and legal relationship
a system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history, a present reality, and who expect to influence each other in the future

81
Q

communication rules in families

A

conversation orientation

conformity orientation

82
Q

conversation orientation

A

the degree to which a family favors an open climate of discussion
high conversation orientation family
-interacts frequently nd freely
-feel comfortable talking to parents about a whole host of issues
low
-some topics may be off limits/taboo

83
Q

conformity orientation

A

the degree to which the family stresses uniformity
typically in beliefs, values, behaviors
high
-hierarchical
-expectation that the family comes first
low
-stress individuality, independence, equality
-up to the individual to determine their path
-accepted to do what is best for you first

84
Q

family types

A

consensual
pluralistic
protective
Laissez-Faire

85
Q

consensual

A

high conversation, high conformity

manage the tension between these two things

86
Q

pluralistic

A

high conversation, low conformity
talk about a low but few rules
can look more like a friendship

87
Q

protective families

A
low conversation, high conformity
communication is to emphasize rules
stereotypes
-military
-religious
88
Q

Laissez-Faire

A

low conformity, low conversation
lack of involvement
sometimes not by choice but because that’s the way it has to be

89
Q

family type trends

A

a lot of families shift as children grow
-begin as protective
-move to consensual
-move to pluralistic
the conformity orientation is much less important than the conversation orientation
-when there is conversation, self-esteem increases, children are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and better performance in school

90
Q

Fitzpatrick’s Marriage Types

A

traditionals
independents
separates

91
Q

traditionals

A

highly interdependent
-share a lot of time and space
see themselves as a couple opposed to two individuals in a relationship
tend to believe that sometimes independence has to be sacrificed for the good of the relationship
tend to engage traditional gender roles
tend to not be overly assertive in conflict
tend to emphasize stability over spontaneity
most satisfied
-closest relationship

92
Q

independents

A

share and exhibit some companionship, but less so than the traditionals
allow each other individual space and time
the relationship itself shouldn’t limit personal freedoms
have androgenous gender roles
-male/female responsibilities are shared
more spontaneous than traditionals
deal better with change
engage conflict head on

93
Q

separates

A

spend very little time together
-share very little companionship
very independent
maintain a distance with their relationship partner
relationship can be seen as a convenience
tend to avoid conflict

94
Q

Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

A

if these 4 behaviors are seen in a marriage, there is a 93-96% chance the marriage will end in divorce
criticism
-making personal attacks on character
defensive
-ward off personal attack
-“it’s not my fault”
-whine
–present themselves as an innocent victim
contempt
-any statement you make to your partner from a superior place
-contempt is primarily an emotion
-when you display contempt, it causes a physiological response in the other person
-most damaging of the four behaviors
stonewalling/avoidance
-listener withdrawal from the conversation
-type of avoidance
-elevated heart rate predicts stonewalling

95
Q

definitions of sex and gender

A
sex
-biological differences
-male/female
gender
-psychological/social differences
-masculine/feminine
96
Q

feminine communication is

A

communal - for the purpose of building relationships

caring

97
Q

masculine communications is

A

assertive
straightforward
content-oriented
instrumental - goal/achievement-oriented

98
Q

alpha and beta bias

A
alpha
-the assumption of differences
-can miss similarities
-can exaggerate differences
beta
-the assumption of similarities
-can miss differences
we have an alpha bias in relation to sex differences
99
Q

challenge of cross-sex friendships

A

emotional bond challenge
-generally, men and women are socialized to see each other as potential romantic partners
-it can create a lot of uncertainty in the relationship
–occurs because there is the potential for a romantic relationship to occur
sexual challenge
-men and women are socialized to see each other as potential sexual partners
-bigger issue for men
public presentation challenge
-“Whitworth Challenge”
-when people see you together, they assume something romantic is happening when there isn’t

100
Q

how LDR’s are different

A
idealization
-tend to put best foot forward
-more positivity
-minimize differences
--picture painted of the relationship that is not as clear as it could be
mediated communication
-the relationship is primarily built on talk and self-disclosure
conflict avoidance
-feeds into idealization
101
Q

strategies to improve LDRs

A

be intentional