How to win friends and influence people Flashcards
Summary
- can’t win an arguement
- never tell someone they are wrong-instead get them to see your view by having them explain why they think they are correct
- Ask instead of giving orders
- remember peoples names, ask for clarification and honor them
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
Principle 2: Show honest sincere appreciation for the things you do
Always complement people on the good work that you can see them do.
Principle 3: Arouse in the other an eager want to do something
To persuade people to do something demonstrate how that action will benefit them more than anyone else.
Principle 4: Always remember a person’s name
Ask for clarification and ask to spell it out if you don’t hear it or pronounce it correctly the first time.
Principle 5: Smile like you mean it
Smiles light up people moods, and make you appear friendly making people want to talk and interact with you.
Principle 6: Be a good listener and encourage people to talk about themselves
Ask people about their experiences and accomplishments, listen attentively and complement them for it.
Principle 7: talk in terms of the other person’s interests
Find out what the other person is interested in before hand and focus on engaging in a conversation about that topic.
Principle 8: Don’t argue
The more you argue the more your opponent will argue back instead see the valid points in their arguement, the errors in yours and announce it before taking more time to consider your opponent’s view point when attempting to reach a decision.
Principle 9: show a genuine interest in the other person
Ex1: Botanist example
EX 2: chain store argument defense example
Let the other person know your interested in them by asking about their background and listening attentively, thinking about what they are saying, ask questions and complement them with their speech.
Principle 10: A sure way of making enemies and how to avoid it
- Always approach an argument by saying that you may be wrong and you have been wrong frequently
- Always ask your opponent what they think about the conflicting situation what their issues are and what their solution might be. Use subtle hints to guide them in the right direction before presenting your own
Ex: when a lumberjack customer pointed out that their order was instatisfactory the company manager asked them to point out what was so unsatisfactory about the wood and why and allow them to reach their own conclusion with the help of subtle guidance that the wood was in fact okay.
Principle 11: what to do when you are wrong
Admit it quickly and empathetically
ex: dog and watchman
ex2: overcompensating an employee issue and boss
Principle 13: Let the other person do the great deal of talking
ex: how is boss started his company
ex2: how the interviewee decided whether the job was right for him or not
Principle 13: Let the other person do the great deal of talking
ex: how your boss started his company
ex2: how the interviewee decided whether the job was right for him or not
Principle 15: Let the other person feel as if the idea is his or hers
what do you think I should be doing on a weekly basis? How do you think we could take the conversation beyond texting and messaging? What would be the best way to let you know all the things that I’m going to be doing that week besides texting»Calander?
