How can we keep conflict cognitive?

Question 1

Make the approach

Answer 1

• Reflect before you begin
• Invite the other party to a conversation
• Be clear about your intentions
• State your goal - a positive resolution

Question 2

Share perspectives

Answer 2

• Ask for the other person’s perspective
• Paraphrase what you hear
• Acknowledge your contribution
• Describe your perspective

Question 3

Name the issue

Answer 3

• Identify topics that the parties view as important to address
• Use concise neutral language
• Avoid pronouns
• Use issues to create the agenda

Question 4

Build understanding

Answer 4

• Discuss one issue at a time
• Clarify assumptions
• Explore interests and feelings

Question 5

Agree on solution

Answer 5

• Reality test – Is this doable?
• Durability test – Is this durable?
• Interest test – Does this meet all parties’ interests?

Question 6

Plan

Answer 6

• Jointly create an action plan
• What needs to happen?
• Who needs to do what? By when?
• How will interaction take place if problems occur?