Exam Two Flashcards
Two assertions for this section of the course
the who i am question we see to avoid answering by being in a relationship are the questions we answer bc we are in a relationship
the who i am question is threatening and so tend to focus on the other member of the dyad by asking who are they and why do they act that way
4 themes for the section of the course
interdependent tension (response interference) is a human universal interdependent tension (unresolved) is an opportunity to clarify the relationship Managed interdependent tension forces us to examine and clarify the sources of response interference unmanaged interdependent tension can cause us to seek simple answers
what does it mean for interdependent tension to be universal
it exists across time
what causes us to face the “who am i” question
interdependent tension
what is the takeaway from the movie Castaway
we are social by nature
Baumeister and Leary
we have a need for belonging
what does the need of belonging require of us
that we have a few people with whom we have frequent and mostly positive interactions
what must we believe in order to feel like we belong
that one or more of our interaction partners will be in contact with us overtime with real emotional concern for us
what is critical to our social interactions
self definition
what about self definition makes relationships more difficult to manage
confronting our true self is hard for us
to have any chance of developing a healthy relationship
we must develop an authentic self knowledge
authentic self knowledge means
we are honest with ourselves about our strengths and limitations
what does authentic self knowledge require with our partners
to be honest with them and reveal our true strengths and weaknesses
to be vulnerable to sharp teeth
how is a relationship like being in a dance
coordinated and linked behavior
what to do first and second in a relationship
learn and ackowledge your own tendencies
learn the other persons tendencies
to be in a healthy relationship
you must know yourself first
what pushes us towards authentic self knowledge
interdependent tension
what is critical to the success of our social interactions
self definition
three things in understanding the role of the self in social interaction
social psychologists have tried to determine what are the most useful ways about thinking about the self
we tried to study how knowledge of the self develops
we tried to determine what situations and circumstances the self influences behavior
Useful ways of thinking about the self
self concept self esteem self schemata self presentation possible selves
self esteem
you know what it is about you but do you like it
self presentation
strategies for presenting ourselves in our social interactions
possible selves
who will i be?
how does knowledge of the self develop
through social interactions
reflected appraisals
we see ourselves reflected in the way people react to us and the things we do
how do we get to know who we truly are
in healthy relationships
why do healthy relationships teach us who we are
it is only in encountering response interferences that we are forced to look beyond our ideal self to our real self
unrealistic sense of self
someone making you feel you have someone wrong