Conversational Skills

Question 1

List 6 conversational problems:

Answer 1

1. Running out of things to say
2. Inability to make transition from opener to full-blown conversation
3. Dead end in conversations.
4. Uncomfortable silences
5. Interrogation-style questioning.
6. Conducting a boring, dull and uninspiring conversation

Question 2

If there is not a script, it’s impossible to make conversation.

Answer 2

Wrong! You can use the 9 hook lead system along with good BODY LANGUAGE.

Question 3

What are the SIX COLUMNS of good BODY LANGUAGE?

Answer 3

Leg Position
Arm Position (and movement)
Hand Gestures
Eye Contact
Facial Expression
Vocal Tone

Question 4

Correct LEG position vs incorrect.

Answer 4

Open = Own the place. Close = Owned.

Question 5

Correct ARM position vs incorrect.

Answer 5

Elbows not suck to your body = Secure. Elbows stuck to your body - Insecure.
Hands inside pockets = owned. One hand balancing at a side, and the other with the thumb inside the pocket = Own the place.

Question 6

Importance of ARM position.

Answer 6

You can tell whether someone is comfortable or not with himself by the position of his arms.

Question 7

Correct HAND gestures vs incorrect.

Answer 7

Express with one hand = boss. Express with two hands = entertainer.
Point to her with the back of your palm = boss. Point to her with finger = accusatory.
Hands with palms facing up = asking for help and comprehension. Avoiding palms facing up = not asking for help or comprehension.

Question 8

Correct EYE CONTACT vs incorrect.

Answer 8

Maintain eye contact = confident. Break eye contact often = unsecure.

Question 9

Always maintain eye contact?

Answer 9

No. You have to break it from time to time.

Question 10

How to break eye contact:

Answer 10

1. Break it to a side (not up or down)
2. Don’t break it after you just said (or saying) something important. Or when she’s saying something important.
3. Don’t hold her gaze too intensely all the time.
4. If she says something bitchy or insulting. DON’T BREAK EYE CONTACT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! KEEP IT! BUILD TENSION!

Question 11

How to know when to break eye contact? (friends)

Answer 11

Pay attention to when you hold or break eye contact when talking to friends.

Question 12

Facial expression. Correct vs Incorrect.

Answer 12

Super expressive, needy, beggin for help or for her laugh and likeness = bad.
Confident smile, as if talking to a little girl who doesn’t know anything about life, and has much to learn = good.

Question 13

Is it good to control facial expressions?

Answer 13

Yes. She doesn’t deserve to know what you feel, she has to earn it. What you feel is very valuable, so why should you give to people who has done nothing to deserve it?

Question 14

NERVOUS LAUGH.

Answer 14

Avoid it at all cost! Once a man makes a nervous laugh, he hands her all the power.

Question 15

VOCAL TONE.

Answer 15

Project your voice.

Question 16

What are the 3 mistakes when forming questions or sentences?

Answer 16

1. Start with “so…” and end with “or…” “So… you like movies or…?”
2. End with a mumbling.
3. End with needy question-like style.
   Ask and answer questions in a sentence-like manner.

Question 17

Name the different TIME CONSTRAINTS in the different situations you can encounter.

Answer 17

In a night club, you have about 10 min to hook.
In the day, a person passing by, you have around 5 min.
Stopping someone in a rush, gives you 30 sec.

Question 18

How can TIME CONSTRAINT generates pressure?

Answer 18

Because under pressure, we panic, and in panic, our mind goes blank.

Question 19

What are the 2 reasons that can make you conversational skills dissapear?

Answer 19

Time Contraints and Outcome-dependency.

Question 20

What is Outcome-dependency?

Answer 20

When you care too much about how the conversation will end up like. You want it to go really good.

Question 21

How do you fight outcome-dependancy?

Answer 21

STRONG IDEA: What if, after knowing her, you decide she’s not that good for you?
PHYSICAL. You first have to put down from the pedestal that person. Maybe she is very hot, BUT she could improve. Think… how? Be fussy.
DEPTH. Is she talented? can she improve? Is she smart? can she get smarter?

Question 22

What’s a PRE-APPROACH FRAME OF MIND?

Answer 22

When you control the negative impulse that scares the hell out of you and translate it so it lands you into the reality and into the moment.

Question 23

Example of PRE-APPROACH FRAME OF MIND.

Answer 23

NEGATIVE: She’s so beautiful, I know she’ll reject me. I’m not good enough for her.
REAL, INTO THE MOMENT: She’s cute, pity she’s not dressed a little more interesting. I’m going to have a conversation with her to see what else she has to offer besides her looks. If she doesn’t meet my requirements, then at the very least I can introduce her to a friend who might be more suitable.”

Question 24

What’s the STRONG IDEA behind the pre-approach frame of mind?

Answer 24

That you are just approaching her to have a conversation. Nothing more.