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Communication Flashcards

1
Q

FORD (or FORM) Method

A

Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams/Motivation

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2
Q

HEFE Method

A

Hobbies
Entertainment
Food
Environment

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3
Q

ARE Method

A

Anchor
Reveal
Encourage

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4
Q

5W1H Filter

A

When someone asks you a question, make sure you answer at least 2, preferably 3, of these questions:
Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
How?

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5
Q

Instead of asking someone what they do for a living, ask:

A

How do you spend most of your time?

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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6
Q

If you can’t think of what to say next:

A

Repeat/parrot some of the last thing they said back to them.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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7
Q

Don’t answer the phone “with a smile,” instead:

A

Answer the phone normally. When the caller says who they are THEN put a smile in your voice so they feel like you are happy to speak to them specifically.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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8
Q

When talking to someone in person, don’t smile immediately. Instead:

A

Smile more slowly and it will make you seem more credible. This should only be a difference of a second of two.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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9
Q

Small Talk (Mood)

A

You must match your listeners mood, at least momentarily. If they’re lethargic, match that. If they’re cheery, match that. After a sentence or two, you can possibly change your mood.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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10
Q

Small Talk (Tone)

A

Almost anything you say is okay, as long as it sounds passionate. 80% of your listeners impression has nothing to do with your words anyway.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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11
Q

When someone asks you: Where are you from?/What do you do? (Theory)

A

Never give a one sentence response to either of these. Give them something to continue the conversation.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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12
Q

Instead of saying “Thank you,” say this:

A

“Thank you for…” Be specific about what you’re thanking them for! People say “Thank you” all the time and it doesn’t feel as special.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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13
Q

To be able to converse about more diverse subjects,

A
  1. Once a month, do a new activity/lecture you’ve never tried before. You can learn 80% of the lingo in just one experience.
  2. Learn basic topics/lingo commonly used in other hobbies/jobs. Can also try to learn a few opening questions relevant to the topic.
    3.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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14
Q

How to respond to a compliment:

A

Don’t shrug it off or protest it, it could hurt their feelings. “Boomerang” it back to them.
1. “That’s so nice of you.”
2. “I’m so happy you told me.”
3.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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15
Q

If an employee is particularly helpful:

A

Compliment their customer service skills to their boss.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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16
Q

Ways to compliment without sounding like a suck up:

A
  1. Compliment them to someone else (their friend, boss, etc.).
  2. If someone compliments someone else, pass it on to the person who was complimented.
  3. Compliment them “behind their back” but loud enough for them to hear you.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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17
Q

Use this word more and this word less:

A

More: “You” (Not: “Where’s the closest restaurant?” Instead: “Can you tell me where’s the closest restaurant?”
Less: “I” or “me” (Residents of mental institutions use I and me significantly more often than people in the outside world)

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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18
Q

How to give bad news:

A

Give it in the same tone the receiver will feel when they hear it.

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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19
Q

Echoing

A

Echo some of their communication back including
-body language,
-words,
-emojis, etc. in texts

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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20
Q

Little Strokes (Compliments)

A
  1. Nice job!
  2. Well done!
  3. Cool!

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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21
Q

When to praise someone

A

Immediately after they did the feat. Don’t wait!

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

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22
Q

Individual people (keep up with them in Google Docs?)

A
  1. Their kids/family
  2. What’s going on in their life (travel, etc.)
  3. Their hobbies
  4. Their likes/dislikes (restaurants, sports, food, etc.)
23
Q

FORD - Family (Main Idea)

A

Keep it light and easy

24
Q

FORD - Occupation Main Idea

A

Make the person comfortable with comfortable topics

25
Q

FORD - Recreation Main Idea

A

Find Similarities

26
Q

FORD - Dreams/Motivation (not always appropriate for initial small talk)

A

Smile, Listen, Learn

27
Q

HEFE - Hobbies Topics

A
  1. What do you like to do on weekends?
  2. Are you doing anything fun over the summer/weekend? Any plans for the holidays?
  3. Do you play/follow any sports?
28
Q

HEFE - Entertainment Topics

A
  1. What’s your favorite TV show?
  2. Have you read any good books/watched any good shows/movies lately?
  3. What’s the best movie/show you’ve seen recently?
29
Q

HEFE - Food Topics

A
  1. Do you like to cook?
  2. What’s your favorite thing to cook?
  3. What’s your favorite place for _____ (type of food)?
  4. What’s your favorite restaurant/place to eat/kind of food to eat?
30
Q

HEFE - Environment Topics

A
  1. Is it always this crowded here?
  2. Is this your first time here since _____?
  3. Has this bus ever arrived on time?
  4. What do you think about this venue?
  5. Have you seen the ______ (whatever) yet?
  6. Which speaker are you most looking forward to?
31
Q

ARE - Anchor

A

Begin with an anchor, something that connects you with the other person. Since you’ve just met, the most obvious starting off point would be a comment about whatever you are both seeing or experiencing. For example, “What a wonderful turnout to this charity auction.”

32
Q

ARE - Reveal

A

Second you want to reveal something about yourself that is related to the anchor you opened with. Using the above example, this could be along the lines of, “I’ve been to similar events and haven’t seen this kind of attendance before.”

33
Q

ARE - Encourage

A

Finally, encourage a response by asking a question, “How about you, have you been to many of these auctions before?”

(Most people love talking about themselves. In fact, Harvard’s psychology department discovered that talking about yourself triggers the same pleasure sensation in the brain as digging into really delicious food)

34
Q

If you want to get out of a conversation…

A

Use the phrase “I need.” (It is also good form to mention something from the conversation before departing as well: “I enjoyed hearing about your travels, I hope we get to talk again”

For example,
“I need to get some food, I haven’t eaten all day.”

“I need to go over and give my hellos to…”

(From How to Talk to Anyone)

35
Q

Emotional prediction

A

Being able to sense other people’s emotions (sometimes even before they know they have them).

From “How to Impress Anyone”

36
Q

Assess a person with _______ eyes.

A

Searching. Momententarily give a slight scrutinizing expression. Then, if and when you are ready to seal the deal or win their warmth, morph it into a slight smile of acceptance. People now feel like they have won your approval.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

37
Q

Come on slow (be quiet at first). It creates a sense of _________.

A

Mystery. Listen and make good eye contact. When you do decide to speak up, your comments carry more weight.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

38
Q

When meeting someone in business or love, sound a little more ________ than them, but not too much more.

A

Enthusiastic.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

39
Q

Make your _________ as big as your __________.

A

Goodbye, hello. If you have a lackluster goodbye after a more enthusiastic hello, the person will leave with a bad last impression and may think you were disappointed in your interaction with them.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

40
Q

When someone interrupts you, if you still want to say the thing you were saying when you were interrupted, give a _________ _________to what you say.

A

Different preface. This is so that it doesn’t draw attention to the fact you were interrupted and make you look pathetic, and the other person look bad.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

40
Q

To be a better conversationalist, become more _____________.

A

Opinionated. Knowing current events isn’t sufficient to keep up a conversation - you must have an opinion on the issues to be interesting. Make your own “position papers” about things - ask yourself how you feel about each issue or person (on tv shows, current events, etc. Think of possible subjects/topics and take a stand.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

41
Q

If someone asks the same question twice in the same conversation…

A

Don’t use the same words to answer a question that a lousy listener asks twice. Try to answer it a different way the second time around to not draw attention to the fact they asked twice which might lead to awkwardness.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

42
Q

If you forgot someone’s name that you just met, at the end of the conversation say something like, ______________________.

A

“It’s been great talking to you. Once again, my name is Sara,” then give a somewhat expectant look without actually asking their name again. Most people will take the cue and respond with their name.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

43
Q

A smooth way to ask someone’s name.

A

Say “My name is _______. And yours?”

From “How to Impress Anyone”

44
Q

When you are trapped in a situation where you don’t know who or what everyone is talking about, do this.

A

Just pull one person aside to ask what everyone is talking about.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

45
Q

Don’t ask ____________ (doctors, dentists, tradesmen, etc.) for advice regarding their expertise in __________ (non-professional) settings.

A

Professionals, personal.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

46
Q

If you want to invite someone and don’t want them to turn you down, ask ________ not ________.

A

When, if.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

47
Q

When a dreaded event (project, visit, etc.) is coming up that you are not excited about, do this.

A

Jump in and act really enthusiastic about it early on and go the extra mile about it. When the event comes up, your lack of excitement will not be as obvious because you came across as really enthusiastic at the beginning and you don’t have to be as much on guard when the event is happening.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

48
Q

Anytime someone gives you even slightly complicated instructions, do this.

A

Write the instructions down to set their mind at ease. (Even if you know you don’t need to write the instructions down – you are doing it for the other person’s confidence in you).

From “How to Impress Anyone”

49
Q

When you nod…

A

Nod up, not down. It comes across as more confident.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

50
Q

Don’t say “Have a nice day.” People say this automatically and it comes across as insincere. Instead, say these options.

A

“Enjoy your day”
“Have a pleasant day”
“I hope you have a good day”
“Enjoy the rest of your day”

From “How to Impress Anyone”

51
Q

Don’t speak or write in the ______ tense, because it sounds very insecure.

A

Past tense.

Don’t say “I was hoping,” “I thought it was a good idea,” “I wanted to know.”

Say “I hope,” “I think it’s a good idea,” “I want to know.”

From “How to Impress Anyone”

52
Q

When talking to someone or leaving a message for someone (including in person, phone calls, emails, voicemails, etc.), think of __________ and address that first.

A

Think of anything that currently is going on with them or affects them and address that first. Acknowledge their recent vacation or whatever is going on with them before discussing your own issue.

From “How to Impress Anyone”

53
Q

For each thing someone says you can:

A
  1. Agree and relate
  2. Ask a related question.
  3. Joke or playfully respond to it.
  4. Break rapport or disagree.
  5. Exit the conversation.

All (8 decks)

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