Charisma in Practice Flashcards
Which technique does OFC recommend most for boosting charisma?
Visualization. She recommends building a mental imagery to go to in situations demanding charisma. She also recommends adding a soundtrack and movements. Visualization activates the brain as if one were practicing the activity; it is another example of ‘tricking’ the brain. The more detailed the imagery, the better.
How does one invoke Gratitude?
One way to invoke Gratitude is to focus on little things that are physically present. Another way is to view your life through the lens of a third-party viewer, and cast it in a positive light.
How does one invoke Goodwill and why does it matter?
Goodwill is the second step on the road to accessing warmth and ultimately charisma. It is the simple state of wishing others well. A simple way to invoke it is to try to find three things you like about the person you want to feel goodwill towards. Another way is to visualize the person you’re speaking to with invisible angel wings. Finally, one can also use auditory guides, such as thinking ‘I like you just for you’.
What are the three steps towards compassion?
First, goodwill. Then Empathy, or understanding what the other person feels. Finally, Compassion, which is empathy plus goodwill. You understand how they feel, and you wish them well.
Why may it be healthier to focus on self-compassion rather than self-esteem?
The former is based on self-acceptance, while the latter on self-evaluation and social comparison.
What is self-compassion and how do we invoke it?
Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when we’re going through difficult experiences. One way to invoke it is by using the Metta technique.
Name the four charisma styles and their main characteristics.
Focus Charisma. Relies on Presence and Confidence.
Visionary Charisma: Belief and Confidence.
Kindness Charisma: Warmth and Confidence.
Authority Charisma: Status and Confidence.
Which variables determine the Charisma style to use?
Personality: Should match one’s personal strength.
Goals: Some modes of charisma will make people obey you, others will make them open up.
Situation: Context.
Focus Charisma: What do people notice, what is important, what are the risks, and when to use it.
We assess it entirely though demeanor. Presence is key. Ability to listen. Use the techniques for increasing Presence. Main risks are that you may display too little power. Other risk is you may appear too focused, which will make the interaction feel like an interview. Focus charisma is useful in almost any business situation, but particularly when you want people to open up.
Visionary Charisma: What do people notice, what is important, what are the risks, and when to use it.
We assess it primarily though demeanor. Appearance matters less. Feeling inspired matters most. The message matters; crafting a bold vision and knowing how to deliver the message charismatically. Key to get oneself into a state of complete conviction. It can inspire change, but also fanatics. Important to use it when you want to inspire people, and inspire creativity.
Kindness Charisma: What do people notice, what is important, what are the risks, and when to use it.
Face and eyes are particularly important. Warmth. Vital to avoid body language of tension, criticism or coldness. Risk is without power you risk coming across as overeager to please. Can lead to overattachment. It is perfect anytime you want to create an emotional bond or make people feel safe. Critical when you have to deliver bad news, or deal with difficult people. Avoid it when you need to appear authoritative.
Charismatic First Impression. Golden Rule?
People like people who look like them. Clothing is tribal wear.
Charismatic First Impression. What are the ten steps of a perfect handshake?
- Make sure the right hand is free
- Avoid holding a drink as the condensation will make the hand feel cold and clammy
- Rise if you are seated, and keep hands out of the pockets
- Use plenty of eye contact and smile warmly but briefly. Too much may appear overeager.
- Keep the head straight and face the person fully.
- Keep the hand perfectly perpendicular, neither dominant nor submissive.
- Open wide the space between thumb and index finger to make sure you get optimal thumb-web contact.
- Ensure contact between the palms of your hands by keeping the palm flat.
- Try to wrap your fingers around your partner’s hand, scaling them one by one, as if you were giving a hug with your hand. You will almost have your index on their hand.
- Once full contact is made, lock your thumb down and squeeze firmly, about as much as your partner does. Shake from the elbow, linger for a moment and step back.
Charismatic First Impression. How to break the ice?
Compliment on dress, where are you from? Then ask open-ended questions, focused on positive topics.
Charismatic First Impression. How to gracefully exit?
Don’t wait too long. Offer something of value: information, connection, recognition, visibility.
