Chapter 9: Relationships of Young Adults, Their Parents, and Their Children Flashcards
Role of Parents in Young Adults’ Lives
What is one of the most significant changes in the lives of young people in Western societies in the last several decades?
progressive delay of transition into adult roles – living independently, having steady full-time work, being married and parents
Role of Parents in Young Adults’ Lives
What is emerging adulthood?
period from the late teens through the twenties – age of identity exploration
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
What factors are aligned with the pattern of leaving home in the United States?
- gender
- parents’ marital status
- perceived availability of material and non-material resources
- geographical region
- ethnicity
- unmarried parenthood
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
What factors are related to leaving home early?
- college
- gender – women leave home at younger age than men
- parental divorce and remarriage
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
Why do women leave home at a younger age than men?
- complete college earlier
- form cohabiting unions earlier
- marry two years earlier than men
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
What are factors related to delayed home leaving?
- higher costs of housing
- higher rates of college attendance
- later entry into full-time employment
- family ethnicity
- greater emphasis on family closeness and interdependence, coupled with placing less value on independence
Non-marital Motherhood
- delayed departure from home
- young mothers often turn to their parents for economic and social support
- young mothers and their children tend to fare better if they remain in the parents’ home during the first 1-2 years of child’s life, BUT fare worse if they fail to move out thereafter
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
Why do young people move back home?
- after college
- can’t support their own household
- period of military service
- early divorce
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
Describe the relationship quality of young adults and parents who live together.
get along better when young adults are studying, working, or looking for work than when they are having serious difficulties moving toward independence
Leaving Home, Delaying Leaving, and Returning Home
Do emerging adults experience greater closeness with parents when they move out or when they stay?
regardless of the reasons for or the timing of the move, most emerging adults experience greater closeness to, and fewer negative feelings about, their parents after moving out
explanation might be that it is easier to have a positive view of parents when you no longer live with them, and after moving out, young people have more control over the frequency and timing of their interactions with their parents
Adjusting to New Members (and Becoming Grandparents)
What does successful assimilation of new persons into an existing family system require?
requires all members receive encouragement to openly discuss their feelings and expectations
Bonding and Independence Between Young Adult and Their Parents
What is the lasting importance of positive relationships with parents?
- important for well-being of their adult children
- parental bond ranks in importance alongside having a partner or best friend
Bonding and Independence Between Young Adult and Their Parents – Economic
Describe most of the world vs. industrialized societies (USA, Canada) when it comes to younger adults supporting their parents.
- most of the world: working to help support the family is expected of young adults
- industrialized societies: most young adults are not expected to assist in the financial support of their parents – financial aid typically is given from the parent to the child (cash, tuition, medical care, food, and other material support)
Bonding and Independence Between Young Adult and Their Parents – Economic
When are the goals of parents and their young adult children aligned?
when parents provide the necessary resources and information that allow young adults to make informed choices about college
- financial support – children enjoy higher living standards
Bonding and Independence Between Young Adult and Their Parents – Economic
Do young adults who do not go to college have financial support from parents?
usually, yes
- because few entry-level jobs pay enough for true independence, many parents underwrite their young adult children’s independent living
- most young adults are given substantial gifts of time, such as help with laundry, moving, household repairs, and free child care for young adults who become parents
Bonding and Independence Between Young Adult and Their Parents – Economic
How might American and Latino families help compensate for lack of ability to provide financial support?
coresidence – many young adults live with their parents and/or grandparents who take care of household expenses and provide meals
Attachment and Individuation
What does participation in parent-child relationships as adult children contribute to?
- ongoing attachment to parents
- achievement of intimacy with others
- achievement of sense of generativity
Attachment and Individuation
What contributes to achievement of sense of generativity?
participation in simultaneous relationships with their parents and their own children
Attachment and Individuation
There is a positive association between security of attachment and…
- freedom from guilty
- freedom from anxiety
- freedom from resentment toward parents
Attachment and Individuation – Gender
Fluctuations in the quality of the parental bond have more repercussions for the emotional stability of…
young women (than for young men)
Attachment and Individuation – Gender
What does attachment to both mothers and fathers predict?
greater competence in relationships and better emotional adjustment
Attachment and Individuation – Gender
What does mother vs. father attachment predict?
- attachment to mothers predicts better conflict resolution behaviour
- attachment to fathers is predictive of better social skills
Attachment and Individuation
Why has it been suggested that attachment is related to the process of individuation?
since individuation tends to occur without altering the quality of attachment that young people have with their parents
attachment and individuation should be considered as dual and equally important pathways to young adult development
therefore, a differentiated sense of self (individuation) can be achieved during young adulthood without severing emotional ties (connectedness) with parents
Attachment and Individuation
Young adults benefit from relationships with their parents in which…
both their separateness and individuality are supported
Attachment and Individuation – Regular Communication
What does more amount of time spent communicating with a parent per day predict?
- consume more fruits and vegetables (ie. might be reminded by parents)
- more likely to engage in moderate to vigorous exercise
- consume fewer drinks
- less likely to engage in heavy drinking
Cognitive Development – Piaget
Young adults are capable of dialectical reasoning. What does this do?
allows them to come up with more effective solutions to the problems they encounter
high problem-solving capabilities help them discern the problems that need their attention
Cognitive Development – Piaget
What is dialectical reasoning involve?
recognition and tolerance of ambiguities and contradictions in many life dilemmas
because parents can do this, they are typically able to come up with satisfactory solutions
Cognitive Development – Piaget
What type of complex life circumstances associated with adulthood provide opportunities for young parents to develop their cognitive abilities of problem finding and dialectical reasoning?
- pursuing an advanced degree (critical thinking)
- critical thinking process engaged in college classrooms influences parenting decisions of young adults
Cognitive Development – Piaget
College-educated persons are more likely to have what child socialization pattern?
authoritative
Cognitive Development – Piaget
What is one of the primary features of the authoritative pattern of parenting?
willingness of parents to provide reasons for their actions and to engage their children in problem-solving activities
Cognitive Development – Piaget
How do real-life experiences promote problem-finding abilities and dialectical reasoning?
real-life circumstances do not provide easy answers
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
What did Vygotsky propose?
individuals are better able to demonstrate proficiency in various activities when supported by persons with specialized expertise
with help of parents or other more accomplished persons, individuals often can reason at a higher level than they can by themselves
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
What is scaffolding?
through activities such as modeling, instruction, and direct support, more competent persons provide scaffolding for the skill development of less experienced individuals
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
How does scaffolding play into problem solving of young adults?
problem solving of young adults is scaffolded by interactions with their own parents and/or spouses or partners on many occasions
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
How do parents scaffold young adults’ lives?
- financial assistance (ie. for college, career-chasing)
- consultation with parents regarding important decisions they are making
- academic success
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
For young adults who have immigrated to the United States, what predicts higher academic competence?
- authoritative parenting
- number of years lived in United States
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
How do parents scaffold young parent’s childrearing efforts?
- financial assistance (even if already financially stable – gifts, loans)
- practical assistance (child care)
- emotional assistance (most important)
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
When young adults experience real-life problems (ie. difficulty rearing children, illness, life crises), who do they typically turn to?
same individuals who were there for them at earlier developmental stages when they had skinned knees or wounded hearts
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
Childcare by Relatives
even in the majority cultures of the United States and Canada where grandparents, aunts, and uncles do not typically assume coparenting roles, they frequently provide some level of child care if they live in proximity to their children and grandchildren
circumstances such as illness or teenage parenthood often influence these relatives to step in and scaffold young parents’ childrearing efforts
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
Why is the scaffolding provided by parents of unmarried young parents particularly important?
because these young parents are the most vulnerable in terms of their ability to care for and provide the basic necessities for their children
Cognitive Development – Vygotsky
Scaffolding of Childrearing Efforts by Parental Partners
emotional – another important aspect of scaffolding seen in two-parent families is emotional support of each other’s parenting efforts
practical – taking turns getting up with a crying baby, participating in bathing children, preparing meals for the family, and taking the children to school
when parents work together to provide for the needs of their children, the effectiveness of each parent’s childrearing efforts is promoted
Filial Maturity
Parents and their young adult children influence each other’s role development through a process that contributes to their parallel development.
process by which the roles of young adults and their parents continue to be redefined in relation to each other
Filial Maturity
How do young adults achieve parallel development with their parents?
young adults must develop filial maturity
Filial Maturity
What is filial maturity?
describe an adult’s capability of responding to the needs of the parent, which represents a move away from egocentrism and a step toward the development of a more mature adult role
forcefully rejecting the notion of role reversal, Blenkner pointed out that mature sons or daughters do not take on a parental role in relation to their parents, but rather assume a filial role, which involves the ability to be depended on by their parents
Filial Maturity
What are the 2 dimensions essential to the development of filial maturity?
parental distancing
parental comprehending
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
Why is parental distancing essential to the development of filial maturity?
to allow each party a certain level of independence
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
Why is parental comprehending essential to the development of filial maturity?
serves to keep the parent and adult child close to each other
Filial Maturity
What does development in each of the 2 dimensions (distancing and comprehending) require?
ability to balance the two forces
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What is a critical task for personal development during young adulthood?
to distance oneself from one’s parents and establish one’s separate identity as an adult
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What is important to do as one begins the process of separating from one’s parents?
important to simultaneously take the first step toward development in the filial role (being responsive to the needs of one’s parents)
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What is the challenge?
to achieve emotional emancipation while remaining engaged as a son or daughter
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What is a necessary step for young adults?
establishing a psychological distance from their parents to take in order to see both themselves and their parents more objectively
acquiring a level of objectivity in relation to their parents allows young adults to perceive their parents as persons apart from the parental role
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
Although parental distancing is a normal and beneficial process, the course of emotional weaning is likely to be slow and painful for parents and their adult children.
-
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What is the initial phase of parental distancing triggered by?
physical separation from parents typical of early adulthood in the United States
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
Whereas this period of adjustment is likely to be characterized by elevated criticism and reduced contact, it is important to examine the processes underlying these interactions.
- transitions such as physical separations from parents can be stressful because they challenge attachment bonds between family members
Filial Maturity – Parental Distancing
What are some factors that serve to advance the level of distancing necessary for development of mature relationships between adult children and their parents?
- demonstrating maturity in other adult roles promotes young adults’ self-confidence, which in turn, encourages parental distancing
- maturity of the parents
- open communication and processing of emotions are crucial when family members change
- expression of emotions fosters the renegotiation of bonds and the clarification of family members’ needs and concerns
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
What is the renewed acquaintance stage?
stage after separation phase in which young adults temporarily withdraw from their parents
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
What does the emancipation that occurs during the withdrawal phase do?
tempers young adults’ egocentrism, thereby helping them see their parents more realistically during the phase of renewed acquaintance
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
What accompanies the more realistic perception of the parent?
greater appreciation of the parent as an individual
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
When does the a more realistic perception of the parent occur?
in the reconnecting phase of the parent–child relationship
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
What is a second outcome of young adults’ distancing and renegotiated relationships with their parents?
young adults’ improving ability to perceive themselves in the adult child role from the viewpoint of what their parents need from them
Filial Maturity – Renewed Acquaintance
What is a concern of young adults that emerges during the emancipation stage?
issue of privacy
(continues during the stage of renegotiated relationships with parents)
therefore, important to devise a family etiquette to handle the delicate balance between the parents’ interest in knowing what is going on in their adult children’s lives and their adult children’s right to privacy
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
The development of the ability to comprehend their parents brings adult children to the place in which they realize…
that their parents had their own existence prior to assuming the role of parent and continue to exist as individuals outside their parental role
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
What does the ability to appreciate one’s own parents require?
considerable objectivity
- development of this ability not only lags behind parental distancing, but also is a slower process
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
Do most adults remember a time when they began to really understand their parents?
yes – (typically in their early 20s)
they usually realize that this discernment was a gradual process that occurred as they themselves began to take on the adult roles held by their parents—those of spouse, parent, and worker
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
What is a positive outcome of young adults’ development of the capability of understanding their parents?
decrease of conflict with parent
Filial Maturity – Parental Comprehending
How does comprehension of mothers compare to comprehension of fathers?
- comprehension of mothers happens earlier than does the comprehension of fathers.
- level of comprehension of fathers is not expected to be achieved during early adulthood, but instead is anticipated to occur during the 40s
Discuss the role of parents in young adults’ assumption of adult roles.
- parents assist their young adult children in the assumption of adult roles by providing financial, practical, and emotional support
- parental financial contributions to their adult children include cash, tuition, medical care, food, and other material support
- parents also support many young adult children by allowing them to continue to live at home
- co-residence with parents during adulthood is related to socioeconomic constraints, geographical location, ethnicity, and non- marital parenthood
- for their young adult children who become parents, parents typically provide assistance through financial help, gifts for grandchildren, and/ or child care
Identify examples of the enduring bonds that young adults have with their parents.
- young adults typically become independent without weakening the bonds they have with their parents
- those who have had positive relationships with their parents while growing up have better mental well-being than those who had less favourable parent-child relationships during their childhood
- young adults who have experienced positive parenting as children also have more positive relationships with others during adulthood
- there is also economic interdependence between young adults and their families
- in much of the world, young adults contribute to the support of their parents
- in Western societies, parents typically contribute to the economic support of their young adult children
Describe the ways in which parents influence the social-emotional development of young adult children.
- relationships that young adults have with their parents contribute to their ongoing attachment to their parents, their emotional well-being, and their achievement of intimacy with others
- there is a positive association between young adults’ security of attachment and freedom from guilt, anxiety, and resentment toward parents
- young adults with secure attachment to their parents have higher self-esteem and less anxiety and loneliness
- ways in which parents contribute to their adult children’s achievement of intimacy is that many of the patterns that young adults bring into their relationships with significant others are established in the relationships they have with their parents
- young adults’ relationships with their parents and with their own children contribute to their achievement of generativity
- achievement of generativity is associated not only with taking on adult social roles but also to the quality of adults’ relationships with their parents
Explain the influence of parent–child relationships on young adults’ cognitive development.
- according to followers of Piaget, in comparison to adolescents, young adults are better problem finders, which helps them recognize the problems that require their attention
- young adults also are capable of dialectical reasoning, which helps them to come up with more effective solutions to the problems they encounter
- experiences related to being a parent and maintaining relationships with their own parents encourage both problem finding and dialectical reasoning
- according to Vygotsky, through the scaffolding of their parents or other more accomplished persons, individuals often can reason at a higher level than they can by themselves
- parents of young adults scaffold their adult children’s academic efforts as well their efforts related to the acquisition of social roles such as parenthood
Describe how young adults and their parents influence each other’s social roles through the process of parallel development.
- this is a developmental progression during which the social roles of young adults and their parents are redefined in relation to each other
- processes of parallel development include distancing from parents (by going to college or establishing a separate residence) and then reconnecting with parents with a renewed appreciation of the parent–child relationship
- through this process, young adults develop filial maturity that allows them to move beyond egocentrism toward the development of a more mature adult role
- this helps them to comprehend their parents, which involves appreciating the parent as a person outside the parenting role
