Chapter 8: Love (Unit 11 and 12) Flashcards
TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE
Passion:
* Physical arousal, desire, excitement, and need
* Usually includes sexual desire
* Typically, the difference between “loving” and “being in love”
* Motivational/drive component (e.g., akin to hunger)
Intimacy:
* Feelings of closeness, connection, warmth
* Emotional component
Commitment:
* Permanence, stability, and the decision to maintain the relationship
* Cognitive component
The three components differ with on a number of properties
Stability:
* Intimacy & commitment relatively stable, passion more unstable
Conscious control:
* Can exercise high degree of control over commitment, perhaps some control
over intimacy, little control over passion
Awareness:
* Tend to be aware of passion, less so of intimacy & commitment
Importance across time:
* Passion important in short-term; intimacy & commitment important in longterm relationships where passion may wane
Commonality across relationships:
* Intimacy core component of many kinds of close relationships, passion more
limited toward romantic relationships, commitment component is variable
PASSION
* “A state of intense longing for union with another”
* When reciprocated, a feeling of ecstasy & fulfillment; when unrequited,
emptiness, anxiety, & despair
* Sexual fulfillment a key part, but other needs may play role as well
– E.g., recall self-expansion theory: passion arises from the intensity of the
rapid self-expansion that occurs in the formation of a relationship
INTIMACY
* Recall that intimacy grows from revelation & subsequent affirmation by
another of the deeply private parts of the self (intimacy process model)
– Combination of self-disclosure & feeling known, validated, and cared for
through the other’s response to the self-disclosure
* Includes mutual understanding, high regard for and valuing of the other,
desire to promote welfare of the loved one, giving & receiving of social
support, feelings of happiness with the loved one
PASSION & INTIMACY
* Although these components are
dissociable, they also exert reciprocal
influences on each other
* Sexual desire fosters intimacy-building
processes (e.g., self-disclosure,
responsiveness)
* Rapid increases in intimacy predict
heightened feelings of passion
COMMITMENT
* Decision that one loves another (short-term) and decision to maintain that
love (long-term)
* Helps keep relationships together through fluctuations in other components
& hardships
– Relationship maintenance mechanisms: e.g., avoiding temptations,
constructive conflict resolution
– Transformation of motivation from individualistic to communal
KINDS OF LOVE
Nonlove:
* Intimacy, passion, & commitment are all absent/low
* Casual, superficial relationship
Liking:
* Intimacy is high; passion & commitment are low
* Many friendships
Infatuated love:
* Passion is high; intimacy & commitment are low
* E.g., “love at first sight”
Empty love:
* Commitment is high; intimacy & passion are low
* Burned out relationships; beginning of arranged marriages
Romantic love:
* High intimacy & passion, but not high commitment
* Can lead to commitment, but not necessarily (e.g., summer fling)
Companionate love:
* High intimacy & commitment, low passion
* Common in long, happy marriages
Fatuous love:
* High passion & commitment, low intimacy
* E.g., whirlwind courtships
Consummate love:
* High intimacy, passion, & commitment
* Highly sought & much idealized, but may be hard to maintain over time
Two-factor theory of passionate love
- While for Sternberg romantic love is combination of passion & intimacy,
some other conceptualizations of romantic love are more akin to what
Sternberg would just call passion or infatuation
Two factor-theory of passionate love:
* Passionate love arises from:
1. Physiological arousal
2. Attribution of arousal to another person
Recall Capilano Bridge study (on a wobbly bridge + attractive woman)
TWO FACTOR THEORY OF
PASSIONATE LOVE
1. Physiological arousal (e.g., sweaty palms, racing
heart)
– Caused by walking over high suspension bridge
or driving a bomb-rigged bus through Los
Angeles
2. Attribution of arousal to plausible target
Study 1
* Male Ps assigned to run in place for either short or long period of time (low
arousal vs. high arousal condition)
* Then watched a video of a woman made up to look either attractive or nonattractive
Felt more romantic attraction to more attractive woman and less romantic attraction to less attractive one in high arousal condition vs in low arousal condition
Study 2
* Manipulated type of arousal
– Negative: description of mutilation & killing
– Positive: comedy tape
– Neutral/no arousal: description of circulatory system of a frog
For both negative and positive arousal conditions, felt more romantic attraction to more attractive woman and less romantic attraction to less attractive woman than in the neutral arousal condition
To recap, according to two factor theory of passionate love:
* Will experience passion if can assign physiological arousal to target
* Nature of arousal (i.e., negative or positive) does not matter
However, this effect may not generalize to contexts where physiological arousal
is frequent and/or anger-provoking situations
– E.g., greater physiological arousal during conflict discussions is related to
lower relationship satisfaction over time
– Theories of aggression suggest that misattribution of arousal from negative
event may contribute to interpersonal aggression
BEHAVIOURAL SYSTEMS APPROACH
- Love is a combination of three behavioural systems: attachment, sex, &
caregiving
– Separate, but influence each other - Behavioural system: a neural program that organizes an individual’s
behaviour in ways that increase the likelihood of survival & reproductive
success
– Therefore assumed to be innate (although functioning can be shaped by
environmental factors & learning)
Sexual system
* Function is to pass genes on to next generation
* Proximate cues leading to activation: physically attractive, potentially
available partners
* Although can (and does) operate independently of attachment processes,
evolutionary pressures may have led to increased coupling of these two
systems in humans
Attachment system:
* Function is to keep us safe
* If passionate love/sexual desire is fuelled by physiological arousal, attachment
is reinforced by alleviation of arousal and feelings of safety (negative
reinforcement in learning theory terms)
– Maps onto process model of intimacy: when vulnerability is met with
warmth and understanding, secure attachment grows
Attachment conditioning paradigm:
* Unconditioned stimulus (US): stimulus that leads to an
automatic response
– Here: picture of striking snake
* Learning phase: US paired with face conveying nonverbal
cues of responsiveness (warm Duchenne smile)
* Testing phase: lexical decision task used to assess extent to
which face is associated with positive attachment words (e.g.,
comfort, trust, kind, nurture)
Results:
* Faces that had been paired with distressing/threatening stimulus associated
with positive attachment words to a greater extent than faces that had been
paired with a neutral/non-threatening stimulus
* Consistent with idea that secure attachment develops when another is
consistently available & responsive in times of distress
Caregiving system
* Function is to keep offspring alive
– Thought to serve as basis of generalized capacity & motivation to provide care,
support & protection to all those in need
* Activated by signals of distress & suffering
* Activation leads to other-focus, prosocial emotions & motivation (compassion,
desire to help even at cost to self)
* Optimal caregiving involves:
– Responsiveness: understanding, validation, & care
– Sensitivity: attunement to and accurate interpretation of another’s needs
* Caregiving system related to compassionate love :
– Prosocial type of love characterized by understanding, care for the other’s
well-being, selflessness, and willingness to sacrifice on behalf of loved one
– Can be measured both as a relational construct & individual trait
* Promotes relationship satisfaction & personal well-being (both self and
partner)
- Some parallels to & differences with Sternberg’s theory
– Passion maps onto sexual behavioural system
– Intimacy maps onto combination of attachment & caregiving
– Sternberg argued that can have intimate relationship without separation
distress; cannot have attachment bonds without separation distress - Not all rewarding social relationships are attachment relationships
LOVE ACROSS TIME & CULTURES
Attitudes toward love have varied across time &
cultures
* Passionate love sometimes seen as type of
madness, dangerous (e.g., ancient Greece, Middle
Ages)
* Throughout much of history, idea that marriage
should be based on pragmatic reasons rather
than passionate or romantic love
Attitudes toward love have varied across time & cultures
* In modern day, 87% of North American college students would not marry a
partner without love, with women placing slightly more importance on love
– In 1967, 65% of men and 24% of women
* In collectivist cultures (vs. individualistic cultures), less focus on love as reason
to marry and more focus on input from family
* Arranged marriage remains commonplace in many cultures and
subcommunities within cultures, particularly in parts of Asia & Middle East
– Parents focus less on physical attractiveness and more on compatibility
- While attitudes toward love vary, experience of love—including passionate
love—is a human universal - Makes sense from evolutionary perspective—if the various behavioural
systems involved in love serve adaptive purpose, would expect universality - Experiences of love may have looked similar throughout our history
More lovely than all other womanhood, luminous, perfect
A star coming over the sky-line at new year, a good year,
Splendid in colours, with allure in the eye’s turn.
Her lips are enchantment, her neck the right length and her breasts a marvel;
Her hair lapis lazuli in its glitter, her arms more splendid than gold.
My heart would be a slave should she enfold me
-Egyptian love poem from circa 1300 BC
ARRANGED MARRIAGE
* Often a collaborative effort between parent & child
* Research within some cultures (China, Turkey) has found higher relationship
quality in partner-selected rather than arranged marriages
– The opposite in studies conducted in India
* Might depend on length of marriage
– Newlyweds in partner-selected couples happier, but arranged marriages more
successful over long term
* May be due to differences in expectations
* In general, couples who receive approval from family networks tend to be happier
& less likely to break up
GENDER DIFFERENCES, INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES &
ATTITUDINAL DIFFERENCES
- Men & women tend to experience love similarly
- Some evidence that men more avoidant & less anxious, but differences are small
- Despite stereotypes, evidence that men are the more romantic sex when it comes
to actions & beliefs
– More likely to consider expressing & express love first
– More likely to believe in “love at first sight”, “one true love”, & that true love lasts
forever
– See passionate love as more important - For men, relationship satisfaction most closely tied to passion; for women, to
commitment
NDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES &
ATTITUDINAL DIFFERENCES
* Those higher in self-esteem & secure attachment more likely to see love as
requirement for marriage
– May reflect optimism about relationships, emphasis on love & comfort
within intimate relationships
ATTACHMENT DIFFERENCES
Attachment style differences in “styles of loving”
* Secure attachment associated with eros (romantic, passionate love) and
agape (selfless, altruistic, all-giving love)
* Avoidance associated with ludus (game-playing, noncommitted love) and
pragma (practical & pragmatic love)
* Anxiety associated with mania (possessive, dependent love)
- The dramatic emotional lives of anxiously attached individuals may contribute
to maintenance of passion
– Recall that sense of physiological arousal, risk & uncertainty can contribute
to passion
– Passion is related to increases in rather than overall levels of intimacy - Anxiously attached individuals constantly cycle through feelings of lower
& higher intimacy - But preoccupation with relationship worries may diminish sexual enjoyment
– Securely attached individuals experiences greater sexual pleasure &
satisfaction - Functioning of the caregiving system can be impaired by self-focused worries
& doubts, as well as difficulties with emotion regulation - Both anxiously and avoidantly attached individuals engage in less effective
caregiving - Avoidance related to lower compassion & willingness to help
- Anxiously attached individuals prone to becoming overwhelmed with
own distress - Activation of security representations increases compassion & willingness to
help, decreases personal distress
CAN LOVE LAST?
DECLINES IN PASSION
* Passion & sexual desire typically fade within first
2 years of relationship
* Lower desire linked to less relationship
satisfaction, thoughts about leaving
relationship
– One of leading reasons why couples seek
counselling
* Why is passion so hard to sustain?
While passion/desire tends to be aroused most by novelty & risk, attachment &
commitment tend to be reinforced most by feelings of familiarity & security
* Early on relationship:
– Partner is a mystery, constant surprises, sense of uncertainty
– Lack of knowledge leaves room for fantasy
– Rapid self-expansion & growth of intimacy
- In long-term relationship:
– Declines in effort
– Sense of novelty & uncertainty has faded
– Self-expansion has stalled
– Hedonic adaptation = habituation to new circumstances - Feelings of passion driven by subjective perception of increasing intimacy
(not just high intimacy)
– Shift from passionate to companionate love may be interpreted as
unhappiness
MAINTAINING PASSION
* Despite the average trends, the good news is that declines in sexual desire are
not inevitable or universal
* 1 out of 3 people report that the passion in their relationship has stayed
constant over time
* Among older adults between the ages of 65 and 80, 74% describe their sex life
as satisfying
* Age-related declines in sexual desire are significantly smaller for people in
better relationships
– Partner responsiveness increases desire
To maintain satisfaction and passion, need to engage in activities that enable us
to KEEP expanding our sense of self (self-expanding activities)
SELF-EXPANSION IN DAILY LIFE
* Couples (average relationship duration = 5 yrs) filled out daily diary for 28 days
* Rated relationship satisfaction, sexual activity, and sexual desire
* Measure of self-expansion
– “How much did being with your partner expand your sense of the kind of
person you are?”
– “How much did being with your partner result in you having new
experiences?”
* More daily self-expansion predicted:
– Higher sexual desire
– 36% more likely to have sex
– More satisfied with their relationship
* Similar results obtained in experimental
studies (e.g., homework-style interventions)
HOW DOES IT WORK?
* Not about pleasantness of activities
– Novel & challenging > mundane & pleasant
* May be due in part to misattribution of arousal
– But not the whole story
– Self-expanding activities do not need to be physically arousing
– Key is having novel experiences
MAINTAINING PASSION
* Self-expanding activities increase sense of closeness to
the partner
* While closeness to partner is important, may also
benefit from sense of otherness—sense of
separateness from the other
* Allows us to discover something new or surprising
about the partner, value unique contributions they
make to the relationship
* Both closeness & otherness mediate relationship
between self-expansion and higher desire
ATTACHMENT
- No single “attachment system” dedicated exclusively to formation of social
bonds - Rather, a set of more general purpose affective-emotional systems from
which attachments emerge with social learning
– Separation distress
– Felt security and social pleasure
– Motivation to seek out and engage with close others
AFFECTIVE NEUROSCIENCE
- Affective neuroscience = branch of neuroscience focused on understanding
emotions in humans & other mammals - Emotions = complex psychological states involving physiological changes,
subjective experience, and behaviour/expression - Affect = the subjective experience of emotion; its felt aspects
Key assumptions:
1. Emotions & associated feelings evolved to serve specific purposes in
response to biologically significant and life-challenging situations
2. Felt aspects of emotional systems (affects) serve 3 key adaptive purposes
-1. Highlight survival & reproductive issues in the environment
-2. Motivate behaviour for survival & reproduction
-3. Aid in memory construction through reinforcement of learned behaviours
SOCIAL PAIN
- Social pain = distress we experience when important
social ties are threatened or lost - Often reach for physical pain words to describe such
experiences
– Hurt, wounded, heartbroken, crushed, left scars, ache
– This tendency is cross-cultural - Propensity to feel social pain may be rooted in separation
distress children experience when separated from
caregiver; generalized to maintaining other social
relationships given the benefits of group living - May have evolved from general pain mechanisms
- Pain serves important adaptive purpose—captures attention & demands
action, interrupts other ongoing activities (think of it as an “alarm” system)
– Individuals with congenital insensitivity to pain highly susceptible to
physical injury, have reduced life spans (often die in childhood) - For highly vulnerable infants, being left alone is a life-or-death situation
– Experience of social pain (separation distress in Bowlby’s words) motivates
behaviour to re-establish proximity with the caregiver - “Protest phase”—crying, searching, clinging, etc.
Pain experience can be divided into two dissociable components:
Sensory component:
specific information about what’s happening—what, where,
how intense is it? (There’s a strong burning sensation in my right hand)
* Involves the somatosensory cortex (strip of the parietal cortex containing a
“map” of your body)
Affective/motivational component:
the aversiveness of the experience &
motivation to stop it (Ouch, that hurts!)
* The alarm component
* Involves different set of neural regions (e.g., dorsal anterior cingulate cortex
(dACC), anterior insula (AI))
SOCIAL PAIN IN THE BRAIN
* Increased activation in the affective pain regions (e.g., dACC, AI) during various kinds of social pain
experiences–e.g.,
– Reminders of deceased for bereaved individuals
– Reminders of ex-partners for those who had been
recently dumped
– Social exclusion…Strength of activation correlated with feelings of
rejection/exclusion
FELT SECURITY
- Once contact with caregiver is regained, experience strong feelings pleasure
& comfort (felt security)
– Reinforces the attachment bond - In adulthood, symbolic proximity-seeking may be sufficient to restore sense of
comfort & security (e.g., thinking of loved one)
– Some parallels to literature on physical pain & placebos—cognitive factors
like mere expectation of pain relief can alleviate pain - What neurobiological factors may underlie alleviation of social pain &
experience of felt security?
ENDOGENOUS OPIOID SYSTEM and BOTSA (Brain opioid theory of social attachment )
- Endogenous opioid system = system of opioid receptors & their respective
ligands (chemical messengers that bind to a receptor) - μ-opioid receptors bind drugs like morphine & heroin, mediate their
analgesic & rewarding effects
– Normally bind internally produced (endogenous) chemical messengers like
β-endorphin (“endorphin” = “endogenous” + “morphine”) - Play important role in pain relief, placebo effects, hedonic responses to
rewards like food - Brain opioid theory of social attachment (BOTSA) = opioids mediate
attachment through dual mechanisms
– Declining levels of opioids during separation contribute to social
pain/separation distress
– Increasing levels of opioids during reunion contribute to feelings of reward
& comfort
BOTSA
Hypothesis 1: if separation distress reflects state of endogenous opioid
withdrawal, stimulation of opioid activity should diminish behavioural
manifestations of separation distress (e.g., distress vocalizations (DVs), clinging)
SOME TERMS FIRST
* Receptor agonist = chemical substance that binds to &
activates a certain receptor
* Receptor antagonist = chemical substance that binds to &
blocks a certain receptor, thereby blocking or dampening
normal biological responses
– Seeing how typical behavioural responses change after
the administration of an antagonist allows us to infer the
neurochemical mechanisms behind the typical response
– Naloxone & naltrexone are common opioid receptor
antagonists
BOTSA
Pharmacological approach
* Administration of μ-opioid receptor agonists like morphine or β-endorphin
reduces DVs & proximity-seeking behaviour like clinging in variety of nonhuman animal species
Brain stimulation approach
* Electrical stimulation of the periventricular gray (PVG) produces release of βendorphin, physical analgesia, and reduction of DVs in isolated guinea pigs
* Both analgesia & reduction in DVs can be reversed with administration of an
opioid receptor antagonist (naloxone)
Hypothesis 2a: Social contact leads to release of endogenous opioids
* Large increases in cerebrospinal fluid
concentrations of β-endorphin following
grooming in monkeys
Hypothesis 2b: If this release of endogenous opioids mediates (drives) the
comforting effects of social contact, should be able to block the comforting
effects of social contact by blocking endogenous opioids
* Young animals treated with opioid receptor
antagonists like naltrexone continue to cry & cling to
mom even after reunion
Further evidence that opioids mediate formation of attachment bonds
– Genetic knock-down of the μ-opioid receptor in mouse pups causes deficits in
attachment
* Oprm-/- pups emit fewer separation distress calls relative to wild-type
controls (Oprm+/+)
* Do not develop preference for mother’s olfactory cues (in contrast to wildtype controls)
* Attachment & separation distress go hand-in-hand: the
pain of separation is the price we pay for attachment
BOTSA IN HUMAN RESEARCH
Indirect evidence
* Social contact decreases physical pain in real-life (e.g., heel
lance in infants, labour) and experimental settings
– Even viewing picture of a loved one decreases pain
during lab task
* However, not clear if this is opioid-mediated
Imaging evidence
* When thinking of an experience of social loss, deactivation of opioid
neurotransmission in regions related to pain affect
Pharmacological evidence
* Naltrexone (vs. placebo control) decreases feelings of warmth and connection
participants experience while reading affectionate notes from close others or
looking at their photographs
– Also decreases activity in the left ventral striatum (reward-related region of
the brain) while looking at pictures of close others
- Participants received naltrexone or placebo before
completing self-disclosure task (from lecture 5) - No effect on feelings of closeness toward partner; but
blocked the increases in positive affect and self-esteem that
placebo participants experienced after the task - Suggests that opioids may contribute to positive feelings we
experience in different kinds of affiliative situations (not just
attachment interactions) - Can also look at genes that affect
functioning of the opioid system - OPRM1 A118G linked to variation in both
physical pain sensitivity & rejection sensitivity
(the G allele being the sensitive variant) - Examined how this variant affects sensitivity to hurtful partner behaviour in
daily life
– After each interaction, reported
– Self- and partner- cold/quarrelsome -behaviour
– Felt security - Individuals carrying at least 1 copy of the G allele reported steeper declines in
felt security when their partner behaved more coldly or hurtfully towards
them than usual
OXYTOCIN
- Oxytocin = a neurochemical messenger that plays key role in parturition &
lactation, is released during copulation - Also postulated to play important role in social behaviour & bonding
- Has received more research attention (in humans) than opioids, but precise
function still remains somewhat unclear
Early evidence indicating that oxytocin may play a role in social bonding came from comparison of two closely
related species with very different social structures
* Prairie voles typically form pair bonds after mating, exhibit biparental care
* Montane voles: live in isolation, no evidence of pair bonding
* Different responses to separation in infancy: prairie voles respond with DVs and stress hormone secretion;
montane voles do not exhibit
behavioural/physiological reaction
* Prairie voles have high density of oxytocin
receptors in regions related to reward &
reinforcement (e.g., nucleus accumbens), whereas montane voles have few receptors in these areas
* Can facilitate partner bonding in prairie voles by injecting exogenous oxytocin (even if the voles have not mated)
* Oxytocin receptor antagonist blocks partner preference formation following mating in the prairie vole
NAcc = nucleus
accumbens
PLC = prelimbic
cortex
OTA
= oxytocin
receptor
antagonist
CSF
=
cerebrospinal fluid
(used as control
)
CP = caudate
putamen
(used as control)
- First study to examine social effects of oxytocin in humans found that
intranasal oxytocin increases trust during economic trust game - Subsequent flurry of research found number of prosocial effects–e.g.,
– Emotion recognition & empathy
– Generosity & cooperation
– More positive communication behaviours during couple conflict
discussions
– Increase in social motivation - As research accumulated, became clear that effects of oxytocin are not always
consistent - Some studies found no effects, very small effects, or negative/antisocial effects
- E.g., oxytocin actually decreases trust towards out-group member and in
those with clinically high levels of rejection sensitivity (borderline personality
disorder) - Effects of oxytocin may depend on intrapersonal & interpersonal context
- One potential explanation: oxytocin may focus attention on social cues (social
salience hypothesis)
– E.g., oxytocin has been found to increase gaze to the eye region & lead to
changes in functional connectivity among brain regions indicative of
heightened attention
– In mice, oxytocin enables maternal care behaviour (pup retrieval) by finetuning neurons in the auditory cortex so pup
distress calls become more salient - Psychological/behavioural effects of increased social salience will depend on
contextual factors
– Might magnify prosociality when dealing with close or trusted others
– But diminish prosociality when the situation or the individual’s disposition
biases them to construe social information in a negative way - For example, oxytocin administration makes individuals low in attachment
anxiety remember their mom as more caring & close; opposite effect for
individuals high in attachment anxiety
FMRI STUDIES OF ROMANTIC LOVE
fMRI study of early-stage intense romantic love (dating 7 mos on average)
* While in scanner, viewed photos of loved and familiar acquaintance
* Activation of ventral tegmental area and related regions that receive
projections from this area
– Part of the “dopamine reward pathway”
* Note: fMRI does not allow for measuring activity of a specific
neurotransmitter, but other research has found increased dopamine
release in these regions in response to rewards like money
- Finding since replicated cross-culturally and with same-sex couples
- Also replicated in long-term marriages (mean duration = 21.4 years) who
reported being still “madly in love” with their spouses - Replicated using stronger control condition (close, long-term friend)
- Activity in VTA correlates with feelings of passionate love (e.g., I want ____
physically, emotionally, & mentally) & closeness
– But not with scores on friendship-based love scale (e.g., my love for my
partner involves solid, deep affection)
