Chapter 10 - Relationships and Attraction

Question 1

communal relationship

Answer 1

A relationship in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give and receive according to the principle of need. Such relationships are often long term.

Question 2

exchange relationship

Answer 2

A relationship in which individuals feel little responsibility toward one another; giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity. Such relationships are usually short term.

Question 3

social exchange theory

Answer 3

A theory based on the idea that how people feel about a relationship depends on their assessments of its costs and rewards.

Question 4

comparison level

Answer 4

Expectations people have about what they think they deserve or expect to get out of a relationship.

Question 5

comparison level for alternatives

Answer 5

Expectations people have about what they can get out of available, alternative relationships.

Question 6

equity theory

Answer 6

The idea that people are motivated to pursue fairness, or equity, in their relationships. A relationship is considered equitable when the benefits are proportionate to the effort both people put into it.

Question 7

attachment theory

Answer 7

The idea that early attachments with parents and other caregivers can shape relationships for a person’s whole life.

Question 8

anxiety dimension of attachment

Answer 8

Afacet of attachment that captures the degree to which a person is worried about rejection and abandonment by relationship partners.

Question 9

avoidance dimension of attachment

Answer 9

A facet of attachment that captures the degree to which a person is comfortable with intimacy and dependence on relationship partners.

Question 10

functional distance

Answer 10

The influence of an architectural layout to encourage or inhibit certain activities, including contact between people.

Question 11

mere exposure effect

Answer 11

The idea that repeated exposure to a stimulus, such as an object or a person, leads to greater liking of the stimulus.

Question 12

complementarity

Answer 12

The tendency for people to seek out others with characteristics that are different from, and complement, their own.

Question 13

halo effect

Answer 13

The common belief (accurate or not) that attractive individuals possess a host of positive qualities beyond their physical appearance.

Question 14

reproductive fitness

Answer 14

The capacity to pass one’s genes on to subsequent generations.

Question 15

investment model of commitment

Answer 15

A model of interpersonal relationships maintaining that three determinants make partners more committed to each other: relationship satisfaction, few alternative partners, and investments in the relationship.

Question 16

The need to belong is thought to be a fundamental human drive, similar to physical drives like hunger. When people have their need to belong satisfied, they are unlikely to pursue this drive further. Given this premise, who is more likely to call up a friend to make plans: Betty, who’s been spending lots of quality time with her children lately, or Blanche, who tends to stay home by herself?

Answer 16

If the need to belong resembles physical drives like hunger, the less belonging one feels, the more “socially hungry” one should feel, and the more motivated one should be to try to connect with others. This feeling of low belonging is like the feeling of an empty stomach, and it motivates a person to seek social contact. In this scenario, Blanche should be hungrier for social contact and more likely to seek out connection with a friend, compared with Betty, who should have her fill of social contact from spending time with her children.

Question 17

Sean and Mitch are just starting a relationship, but they seem to have different expectations about what each one deserves from a romantic partner. Sean thinks that if his partner doesn’t treat him extremely well, then that romantic partner is just not worth his time because there are better guys out there. Mitch, on the other hand, has been in several bad relationships and puts up with just about anything from a partner because he’s deeply afraid of being alone. How would you describe Sean and Mitch’s respective comparison levels and comparison levels for alternatives? What might the consequences of these levels be?

Answer 17

Sean appears to have a higher comparison level than Mitch, because he believes he deserves better treatment from his romantic partners than Mitch believes he himself does. Sean’s comparison level for alternatives in this scenario is high, because he thinks there are better guys out there than a romantic partner who doesn’t treat him extremely well. This suggests that Sean sees many potential rewards (high-quality partners) outside of his relationship. Coupled with his high comparison level, Sean may be quick to leave his relationship with Mitch if he doesn’t get the treatment he thinks he deserves. Mitch’s comparison level for alternatives is low; he sees being alone as an undesirable alternative. This suggests that Mitch may put up with more bad behavior from a partner due to both his low comparison level and his low comparison level for alternatives; he doesn’t expect much from his partner and doesn’t see many desirable alternatives to being in his current relationship.

Question 18

Jenny feels comfortable relying on and being close to her immediate family members, and she seeks extremely intimate, clingy romantic relationships but keeps her distance from her friends, not disclosing much to them or counting on them. How would you analyze her attachment styles? How would you describe her working models?

Answer 18

It sounds like Jenny has distinct attachment styles for the different types of relationships in her life. She has a secure attachment style with her family, because she feels comfortable trusting them and doesn’t seem to worry about being close to them. But with her romantic partners, Jenny wants to be exceedingly close and intimate; this is characteristic of an anxious attachment style. With her friends, Jenny seems avoidant, seeking extreme independence and showing reluctance to be close and dependent. Jenny seems to have multiple attachment working models (corresponding to her three styles of attachment) that become activated and applied differently in various relationships.

Question 19

Robert has a crush on Marilyn, but she doesn’t seem to know he exists. What can Robert do to make himself more attractive to Marilyn, based on the principles of proximity and similarity?

Answer 19

If Robert wants to capitalize on proximity, he should find a way to get physically close to Marilyn, such as sitting near her in lecture or moving to an apartment or dorm near hers. The more mere exposure Marilyn experiences with Robert, the more Marilyn should come to like him, so any way he can increase the probability of their paths crossing should help his cause. If he wants to capitalize on similarity, Robert should highlight the ways he and Marilyn are similar, perhaps by altering the style of clothes he wears to more closely resemble hers, playing up the interests they have in common, or taking up new hobbies and causes she enjoys. The more similar Robert appears to be to her, the more rewarding their interactions will be, and the more Marilyn should feel validated about herself.

Question 20

Suppose Alice wants to try an experiment about the halo effect of physical attractiveness on an online dating website. She sets up two profiles for herself, making the content of the profiles identical except for her picture. On one profile, she uses a beautiful photo of herself as her profile photo, but on the other profile, she uses a horrible photo of herself. How might men respond to these two profiles, and how might Alice respond to them in turn?

Answer 20

Based on the halo effect, the high and low attractiveness photos should create self-fulfilling prophecies for Alice’s experiences on each profile. When men on the site are interacting with the pretty Alice profile, they may see her content as more charming, interesting, and attractive than the content coming from the ugly Alice profile and in turn may write her more interesting, engaging messages and see her responses to those messages as wittier and funnier. Moreover, Alice’s responses could also be affected by the manipulation; she may feel more engaged with the men who are interacting with her pretty profile and actually write better messages. In this way, the heightened expectations men have based on the pretty Alice profile may end up actually eliciting a better side of Alice, compared with Alice’s behavior when interacting via the ugly profile.

Question 21

How can the investment model of commitment help explain why people stay in long-term abusive relationships? How might an abusive partner manipulate the factors that contribute to commitment to make an abuse victim stay in the relationship?

Answer 21

In abusive relationships, satisfaction is probably fairly low, since the costs are great. But satisfaction is not the only determinant of commitment; possible alternative partners and investments in the relationship are the other two determinants. Investment in an abusive relationship may be high if the partners are married, financially linked, have children and property together, and have intertwined lives. In any long-term relationship, many resources have been devoted to the relationship over the years. It’s possible that an abusive romantic partner would deliberately increase investment on the part of a partner—for instance, by having more children or making more joint commitments (such as loans)—or would find ways to remind the partner of all the investments already made. Alternative partners may also come into play: perhaps partners in abusive relationships feel that there are no other options and that at least having the “good” times with the current partner is better than being alone or with some unknown other. Abusive partners could well manipulate perceptions of alternatives, such as making critical comments that make an abuse victim feel unworthy of love from anyone else. The cycle of abuse is powerful, and leaving is not always determined by something as simple as low satisfaction.