chapter 10, 1, 2, 3 Flashcards
what is accomodation (lose-win)
- low concern for self, high concern for others
- (lose-win): giving into others rather than asserting your own point of view
An approch to conflict that involves entirely giving in to others rather than asserting your own point of view
MY EX: “Go listen to that new album, it’s your speaker. I will just go to my room and read”
what is avoidance (lose-lose)
- low concern for others, low concern for self
- Lose-lose: choosing not to confront
An approach to conflict in which people choose not to confront an issue directly: avoidance can be physical or conversational
MY EX: “My friend and I don’t like to argue so we will not discus the issues”
what is collaboration
- high concern for self, high concern for others
- win-win solutions to conflict: seeking a solutions that satisfies the needs of everyone involved without compromise
An approach to resolving conflict that requires participants to show concern for both themselves and others
MY EX: my friend and I brainstorm all different solutions together, she will have the basement and listen to her music as loud as she wants, and I will be all the way upstairs in my room reading and being able to concentrate
what is competition (win-lose)
- high concern for self, low concern for others
- win-lose: seeking to resolve the conflict your way using either passive aggression or direct agression
An approach to conflict that involves seeking a favourable solution only for yourself
MY EX: “My friend tries to tell me listening to music will lead to more relaxation, But I try stating that I rather read and gain more knowledge then listening to music”
what is compromise
- moderate concern for self, moderate concern for others
An approach to conflict resolution in which both people attain at least part of what they want through self-sacrifice - gives all people at least some of what they want, although it involves everyone sacrificing part of their goals.
- MY EX: we both agree to our differences my friend can listen to music as much as she wants because its her speaker, and I can enjoy my reading time because that’s what I want to do
what is conflict
An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce reward, and interference from the other person in achieving their goals
- MY EX: I WANNA GO TO A CAFÉ, BUT MY BEST FRIEND WANTS TO GO TO A BAR. THEREFORE, WE’RE ARGUING ABOUT WHERE WE WANT TO GO.
what is complementary conflict
the use by partners in a conflict of different, but mutually reinforcing behaviour
MY EX: my friend complains that I don’t spend enough time with her, that makes me annoyed, therefore, I distance myself even more
what is conflict rituals
Repeating patterns of interlocking conflict beaviour
(MY EX: having a fight with my friend, I leave, then I feel guilty about the problem and go back and apologize on my part. But this fight can happen again)
what is escalatory spiral
If both partners treat one another with matching hostility, one threat or insult leads to another
what is passive aggression
An indirect expression of aggression delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness
- occurs when a communicator expresses their dissatisfaction in a disguised manner
(MY EX: Go ahead, enjoy the party without me, I will do all the chores myself (ugh). Have fun for me)
what is serial argument
A repetitive conflict about the same issue
(MY EX: Oh my goodness, why are we talking about this AGAIN!)
what is stonewalling
feed off one another and can develop into destructive, repeating patterns.
(MY EX: My friend likes to roll her eyes at others weird remarks and won’t make eye contact.)
what is symmetrical conflict
The use of the same tactics by both partners in a conflict
MY EX: MY FRIEND RAISES HER CONCERNS, ASSERTIVELY, THEREFORE, I WILL RESPOND BY EXPLAINING MY CONCERNS IN THE SAME MANNER WITH BOTH OF US, NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF AGGRESSION
what is win-win problem solving
the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved.
(MY EX: “We both agree that sharing the living room is the best solution”
What is expressed struggle
An expressed struggle does not have to be verbal. You can show your displeasure with someone without saying a word. A dirty look, the silent treatment, and avoiding the other person are all ways of expressing yourself
(MY EX: I don’t want to talk to them because of what they did to me, so I am going to avoiding them
what is perceived scarce resources
occurs when people believe there are not enough resources, such astime, money, affection and space to go around.
(My EX: What am I going to do, if there is not enough time?!
what is interdependence
people in a conflict are dependent upon each other. The welfare and satisfaction of one depends on the actions of another
- Many conflicts remain unresolved because the people fail to understand, accept, and acknowledge their interdependence
what is inevitability
Conflicts are bound to happen, even in the best relationships.
(MY EX: if I turn away for the purpose of avoiding direct communition, I am sending a non-verbal message of disapproval
what is perceived incompatible goals
The goals in this situation really aren’t completely incompatible—solutions do exist that allow both people to get what they want.
- All conflicts look as if one person’s gain would be another’s loss
what is direct aggression
attack the position and dignity of the receiver
what is “The Situation”
When someone clearly has more power than you, non-assertion may be the best approach
- can shape communication in conflict
ex: if a mangers tell you to apply the document now, you should do it without question
what is “The Other Person”
- sometimes people are not interested in collaboration
- some people are competitive that even for minor issues they put winning ahead of the well-being of their relationships
(MY EX:I had a well orginzaed plan but my friend didn’t care to listen to it)
what is “Your Goals”
- When you want to solve a problem, it’s generally good to be assertive
- there are other reasons for communicating in a conflict.
- your overriding goal might be to calm down an enraged or upset person.
- your moral principles might demand an aggressive statement even though it might not get you what you originally sought
(MY EX: I had enough of you teasing me all the time. I have explain to you why I don’t like them yet. You constantly make them, I’m done with this friendship)
what are the factors to consider before deciding which conflict style to use?
- The other person
- Your goals
- the situation
what is de-escalatory spiral
- If the partners both withdraw from one another instead of facing their problems, a problematic
- partners use the same behaviours; can lead to escalatory and de-escalatory conflict spirals; can lead to posi- tive outcomes, too.
what is toxic conflict “The Four Horsemen”
- Criticism: These are attacks on a person’s character - MY “Your so careless- you never think about your surroundings”
- defensiveness: is a reaction that aims to protect one’s presenting self by denying responsibility (Your wild - I can never do that) and counterattacking (MY Your horrible then I am)
- contempt: A contemptuous comment belittles and demeans. It can take the form of name-calling putdowns or sarcastic barbs. (MY”Your a real heartbreak”)
- Can also be non-verbally through dramatic - Stonewalling: occurs when one person in a relationship withdraws from the interaction, shutting down dialogue and any chance of resolving the problem in a mutually satisfactory way MY”you are irrelevant”
what are the 2 variables in conflict styles
gender and culture
what in gender in the matter of conflict styles
- women and men approach conflict differently
- Across a variety of cultures, boys have been observed to engage in more direct, overt, physical aggression than girls
- across several cultures, girls have been observed to engage in more relational aggression; things such as gossiping and excluding others, as opposed to shouting, name calling, and physic- ally fighting
what in culture in the matter of conflict styles
- People from most cultures prefer mutually beneficial resolutions to disagreements whenever possible
- the ways in which people communicate during conflicts do vary from one culture to another
- Cultures differ in their orientation toward disagreement, (is it to be agreed or argued)
rapport management and the preserving of face (how major is It to keep a relationship maintenance?)
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what are the steps for a win-win approach
- works best when it follows the seven steps described here
1. Define your needs: begin by deciding what you want or need
2. share your needs with other person: two guidelines to keep in mind. FIRST: First, be sure to choose a time and place that is suitable SECOND, use the descriptive “I” language , In a tense situation, however, it may not be easy to start sharing your needs. The goal here is to build rapport, establish common ground, and perhaps pick up information
3. Listen to the other persons needs: find out what the other person wants and needs, a good time to engage in paraphrasing, both to make sure the other person has been heard and to draw out additional information.
4. Generate Possible solutions: you and your partner try to think of as many ways to satisfy both your needs as possible. You can do so by brainstorming
5. Evaluate the passible solutions and choose the best one: is after they all have been generated, after you and your partner feel you’ve exhausted all the possibilities.
6. Implement the solution: he time comes to try it out to see if it does indeed satisfy everyone’s needs.
7. Follow up on the solution: As time passes and people and circumstances change, a particular solution may lose its effectiveness or even become more effective. THIS IS WHY FOLLOW UP IS IMPORTANT
What is the 4 parts of conflict
- Expressed: behaviour must be involved, some sort of action can be verbal or non-verbal
- Interdependent: at least two parties must be involved for a conflict to occur
interdependence does NOT infer equality-it means that each party/group/person has something that the other needs and thus conflict occurs because the two parties need each other and there is reason to believe that this need will not be met - Perceive: critical elements of a conflict situation (Possible to have a conflict arise because of the way someone selected, orginzed, and interpreted information)
- Opposition: is inherent in conflict- A tension that arisies when goals or actions are seen as incompatible
what are the major causes of conflict
- sometimes conflicts arise when there aren’t incompatible interests, there is just a perception that there is
- Other times when incompatible interests exist, conflict does not
- conflict requires more than just incompatible interests.
what is the faulty attributes
- Observing someone behaving in a certain manner, makes us judge about the cause of their behaviors
- We make internal attributions (they are behaving that way because of something inside that person)
- external attributions (behavior caused by something outside the person)
what is faulty communication
- Sometimes conflicts arise because of the way information is presented and does not involve actual incompatible interests.
- Sometimes we unintentionally set up defensive situations because of the way we communicate. This increases the risk of a conflict
what is a personality characteristics
Sometimes conflict arises because of the fact that our personalities clash with another person’s
overt expression
- Is straightforward and out in the open
- Two people could be crying to each other or talking claiming about a problem in a normal manner
- Physical aggression is one way of overtly expressing or behaving in a conflict situation
what is convert expression
- NOT OPEN AND STRAIGHTFORWARD
- Not often recognized or acknowledged by one of the parties involved
- Silence is a covert expression in a conflict situation
- Expressing yourself in an indirect fashion, you are using a covert method of expression
- Passive aggression is a very common way of covertly expression in a conflict situation and can have very negative implications for the successful resolution of a conflict.
what is assertive messages
- isn’t the same as being able to deliver one.
- requires both patience and practice
- Take your time to work through the five necessary components as discussed
- you need to deliver the message YOUR way
- This is the type of message that is highly context dependent
what do you need to consider in a relationship
- you need to consider the ‘power’ balance within a relationship
- consider how much you value the relationship and if you will need the relationship to exist in the future.
- If valued consider collaboration before competition or compromise
- If NOTE VALUED you will not need to maintain this relationship in the future, then competition may be more appropriate.
what is lose–lose problem solving
An approach to conflict resolution in which neither party achieves its goals.
what is the liner model of communication
- allows people to gain info and organize it in a simple way
- WITH THIS MODLE NO ONE CAN BE BOTH A SENDER AND A RECIVER
- THE SENDER: ransmits a message through a channel or channels to a receiver
- THE CHANNEL: any method of transmitting the message such as oral (talking) or email or phone or smell etc.; MAKE SURE TO CHOSE THE RIGHT ONE
-NOISE: ANYTHING that disrupts the transmission of a message.
what are the different types of noises
- Physiological noise: Hearing or vision issues Articulation issues (when a speaker has a an accent; Biological issues – hunger or pain.
- Physical noise: External noise from the environment (truck driving)
- Psychological noise: the beliefs you have, the prejudices and insecurities you have
- Semantic noise: a sender and a receiver apply different meanings to the same word or message
what is the difference between a transactional model of communication and a linear model
-Transaction- no longer refer to a sender and a receiver; instead we use the term communicator
-Communicators are both senders and receivers at the same time
what is Transactional Model of Communication
- is to build shared sustained meaning, this is done by cooperation and participation of all members in a communication situation
- It is crucial to take into account every component of a message because, once delivered, it may affect following communications as well as potential understandings of earlier messages.
what is context (environment)
- consider context when sending or receiving a message
- may determine how a communication should be interpreted.
- The correct consideration of context may eliminate, or at least reduce, the experience of noise.
what is physical context
- physical environment where communication occurs, eg:a classroom, OR coffee shop etc
- Includes the environmental conditions eg: the size of a room, the lighting in a room
what is cultural context
- culture (and sub-culture) has very different rules / norms for communication.
- Understanding the difference in cultural context, evaluate the success of a communication effort and maybe the contrast between knowledge and misunderstanding.
what is cultural context
- What is the relationship between the sender and receiver?”
My example “ I feel perfectly safe and calm when talking to my cousins about a issue I am having, at a coffee shop, but would be very uncomfortable if I was to communicate my issue with a peer I spotted at the same coffee shop”.
what is historical context
- understood in connection to earlier messages that have been delivered. not just the content, but also the manner in which earlier messages were delivered.
- Messages from people with that you have a long history should differ from those sent by strangers (both positive and negative)
If I say goodbye to my friends every day, what does it mean if I don’t speak to them?”
what is a communication process
an ongoing, and changing activity due to context, noise, content, and that people always change
what is a message exchange
- the exchange of the message in the content, both verbally and nonverbally.
- All of the information in the exchange is open for the recipient to interpret as “meaning” even though some of the messages may be intentionally sent and other parts may not.
what is message meaning
- In order to establish communication, messages are unreliable.
- What a receiver takes from a message after understanding it is the meaning.
what does mean by communication is unavoidable
- You have to communicate (you basic can not avoid it)
- Almost every action must in engage in some sort of communication to someone
- Communication will happen whether you mean to do so or not
what does mean by communication is irreversible
- No taking back message after they have been sent out
what does it mean by communication involves symbols and exchange
- Communicate can be used is symbols
- Agreement can be made of the mean of those symbols or not
what does it mean by communication is learned
learn to determine if the info is ‘correct’ and what needs to be improved on
what does it mean by communication contains one time only events
- Experience messages in real time
- Some messages can be reviewed repeatedly, however “only receive a message for the first time…. once.”
what is the myths about communication
- it solves all problems
- is common sense
- meaning is all in the words
what is asynchronous
when there is a delay between when a message is delivered and when it is received, communication has taken place.
EX: Email, voicemail, snail mail, text messages, and social networking posts are asynchronous. (19)
what is a channel
to describe the medium through which messages are exchanged
what is communication competence computer-mediated communication (CMC):
“provides us with other ways to interact both socially and at work. CMC describes any communication that involves two or more electronic devices”
what is content dimension
: involves the information being explicitly discussed (e.g., “Please hand over the laptop,”
what is dyad
two people interacting
Occurs in larger groups
Partners must work matters out with each other
what is mediated communication
- include the telephone, text messaging, email, and social media platforms
- The communication channel being used can affect the way a receiver responds to a message
what is qualitative interpersonal communication
- occurs when people treat one another as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs or the number of people involved
what is quantitative interpersonal communication
any interaction between two people. often use the adjective dyadic to describe this type of communication.
what is relational culture:
“which people in close relationships create their own unique ways of interacting
what is relational dimension:
- expresses how you feel about the other person (e.g., whether you like or dislike him or her)
how does communication help us
- Spending time with others and engaging in conversation has benefits
- Communications helps learn who we are
- The sense of identity comes for the ways we interact with others
- Helps us, helps us to help others, feel included and worthy, have fun and relax,
what are the 5 practical needs (Maslow’s Hierarchy of need)
- physical also known as Physiological Needs: sufficient air, water, food, and rest, and the ability to reproduce as a species.
- Safety needs: protection from threats to our well-being.
- Social “ Love and Belonging needs”: family, friendship, a general sense of connection
- Self-esteem needs: the desire to believe that we are worthwhile, valuable people, states, freedom, etc
- Self-actualization needs: the desire to develop our potential to the maximum, to become the best people we can be.
what are the three types of model of communication
Simplistic, linear, and unidirectional
what is transactional communication:
a dynamic process created by the participants through their interaction with one another
what does it mean when Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional
Unintentional: Maybe a friend hears you quietly talking to yourself about something, even though you didn’t intend for them to hear your remarks, they did get a message
what are the many features provided in interpersonal communicate
- Uniqueness: communicating in a truly personal relationship (ex: a relationship)
- Irreplaceability: Explains why normally the feeling of being sad when a close friend or love one “cools down” (no one will compare to my cousins)
- Interdependence: “ the fate of a partner is connected”. The others life affect you, it can either be a paise or a burden (my baby cousins is a blessing in my life)
- Disclosure of personal information: communicators feel more comfortable sharing their thought/ feelings
- Intrinsic Rewards: Does not matter what you talk about, what matters is developing the relationship
what is Synchronous communication
- occurs in real time.
- In-person communication, phone calls, and video chat/ conferencing are examples of synchronous communication
what is permanence
Not as normal as face-to-face conversations; messages, photos, videos, etc, that are posted/sent to others can be saved for an unlimited amount of time
what is co-culture
the perception of memberships in a subgroup that is part of an encompassing culture
- can be age groups, ethnicity, etc
what is Communication Competence Defined and Described
- the ability to achieve goals in a manner both effective and appropriate (29)
- effective: communication would get the results you want
- appropriate: communication would do so in a way that, enhances the relationship in which it occurs
what are the three traits of open-mindedness
- Ethnocentrism: the belief that one’s own culture is way better then others.
This individual believes—either in private or out loud—that anyone who doesn’t share his or her in-views group’s is either odd, incorrect, or even beneath them. - Prejudice: unfair intolerant attuned to others who “belong” to an out-group
- Stereotyping: extreme generalization about a group
example: girls are all about emotions and can not be stung minded
what is self-concept
stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself.
-your personality will have an impact on the development of your self-concept
what is self-control
involves your ability to change your thoughts, emotions, moods, impulses, or perform- ance of some task in order to achieve a personal goal or meet a social or cultural expectation
what is self-pity
become so wrapped up in their own problems they ignore their inter-connectedness with other people and are unable to step back from their situation
what is reflected appraisal
perceptions of the judgments of those around them.
- developing a sense of ‘self’, we start to develop a ‘self’ that would matches the views we envision others would see us
what is social comparison
evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others
what is reference groups
others against whom we evaluate our own characteristics.
what is self-esteem
involves evaluations of self-worth.
what is individualist culture
view their primary responsibility as helping themselves
what is collective culture
feel loyalties and obligations to in-groups: extended family, the community
what is impression management
the communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them.
what is perceived self
is the person you believe you are in moments of honest self-examination.
- who you honestly believe to be.
what is presenting self
is a public image—the way we want to appear to others.
- your public face; we all have multiple public spaces for different situations
what are the factors of self-disclosure
(1) has the self as subject,
(2) is intentional,
(3) is directed at another person,
(4) is honest,
(5) is revealing,
(6) contains information generally unavailable from other sources,
(7) gains much of its intimate nature from the con- text and culture in which it is expressed.
what is privacy management
to describe the choices people make to reveal or conceal information about themselves
what is self-fulfilling prophecy
happens when someone behaves according on their hopes of an event, increasing the likelihood that the expected outcome will occur.
what is self-imposed
influence your behaviour.
what self-compassion
a tendency to be caring and understanding rather than harshly critical of oneself.
what do reflected appraisal and social comparisons have in common
Both of these processes happen in face-to-face and online interactions with others.
what are the 4 factors that work in the communications of these self-fulfilling predictions
- Climate Factor: nicer to the students who they have a more favourable expectation for. In both verbal and non-verbal channels of communions
- Input Factor: Teaching more material to the students who they have a more favourable expectation for
- Respond Opportunity Factor: students get more of a chance to respond, if the teacher expect more of them when they call on them more often. Plus let them talk longer, working together to put the response out
- Feedback Factor: more is expected from the student, the student is praised more, positively reinforce more
what has an influence on our identity
-diversity: self concept with be affect by the diversity of different ares or people around you; languages have a large impact
- culture: Individualistic culture: view their primary responsibility as helping themselves,
Collectivist cultures: feel loyalties and obligations to in-groups: extended family, the community, are more attentive to and concerned with the opinions of others
- sex and gender
what is Deliberate or Unconscious
-intentional/unintentional element
- We may present yourselves in a certain way or we may not, depending on the people we are communicating with
what is Scripts vs Spontaneity
- our behaviour is not planned
- planning what you’re gonna say to someone
- Sometimes when you’re communicating something you already planned, the other person may have said something to change your course of communication
What is self-monitoring
paying attention to and regulating your own behaviour to meet the demands of communication situations
what is high self-monitors
sensitive to concerns of self-presentation, changes their behaviour from one situation to another
- More concerned with the public impression
- Go out of their way to learn about people’s situations
- Modifies their behaviour for different situations
what is low self-monitors
less concerned with the impact of their behaviour in any communication situation, presenting themselves in the same way regardless of the situation
what are the 3 steps towards the process of perception
- Perception is an active process NOT PASSIVE
1. Selection
2. Organization
3. Interpretation
how do we select
- Personal Conscious Decision: Sometimes we choose something because we have made the conscious decision to focus on it. (MY EX:When I am watching basketball I am watching the ball, not the players sitting down)
- Your current “area if interest”; When you’re more interested in an object, you’re more sensitive to information about object (MY EX: if I am thirsty, I will notice water into more than if I had just finished drinking
- Expectations: see what we want to see by selecting certain information (MY EX: When I smell coffee I am consciously/unconsciously ‘look’ for that information)
- Culture: selecting information can be based on the value and our cultural places in certain things (MY EX: I grew up around traditional music, so I will sometimes select to listen to that instead of western music
- Time: when highly emotional, there is a tendency to pay attention to certain details of a situation, However if relaxed, paying attention to certain themes would occur
how do we organize
- we need to do something with the information we just chose
what are the multiple different ways to organize information
- constructs: mental measuring tapes (MY EX: my construct of space exists on a continuum from ‘big’ to ‘small’
- prototypes: Information is selected, then you can move into fitting it in a category and comparing, contrast, and revise (MY EX:
- stereotypes: Stereotypes is a way to organize information without wasting time; Can be used to predict behaviour and explanation for that behaviour; NOT ALL ARE BAD (MY EX:
what is Interpretation:
- attaching meaning to sense data—plays a role in almost every inter- personal act.
- YOU chose the meaning, YOU every time
- YOU (as the receiver who selected, organized and is now interpreting) have the responsibility to check your interpretations/perceptions and YOU have the responsibility to determine how YOU arrived at a particular interpretation
what is Relational satisfaction:
A behaviour that seems positive when you’re happy with a partner might seem completely different when the relationship isn’t satisfying.
what is Expectations:
If you expect people to treat you badly you will be more likely to interpret their behaviour negatively
what is Personal experience.
What meanings have similar events held? If, for instance, you’ve been taken advantage of by landlords in the past, you might be skeptical about reclaiming you’re cleaning deposit.
what is Assumptions about human behaviour
Do you assume people are lazy, dislike work, avoid responsibility, and must be coerced into doing things, or do you believe people generally exercise self-direction and self-control?
fact vs. inference
make sure not to treat inferences as if they were facts
Fact – an objective statement based on observation.
Inference – an interpretation that goes beyond the facts.
How to Avoid the Fact/Inference Confusion
- good communicator would try their best to reduce any possible confusion in this certain type of situation
- The best way is to not represent interference as facts
- MY EX: I riley is upset with me, since I don’t have the facts if she is or not, I am thinking that she is
what is influences on perceptions mean
Everything that makes you ‘you” influence the way you select, organize and interpret information to developing your perception
what is the difference between empathy and sympathy
- Empathy is understanding/feeling for someone else’s point of you, without judgement
- sympathy: the understanding from your point of you, with someone is going through
what can you do to improve your perception
- perceptions are subjective and treat them as such
- Avoid assuming that you know what other people are thinking or feeling; you can infer based on your observations but that is an interpretation rather than a fact.
- Always consider the difference between a fact and an inference
- Seek out different viewpoints, and ask people about their perceptions.
