chapter 10, 1, 2, 3 Flashcards
what is accomodation (lose-win)
- low concern for self, high concern for others
- (lose-win): giving into others rather than asserting your own point of view
An approch to conflict that involves entirely giving in to others rather than asserting your own point of view
MY EX: “Go listen to that new album, it’s your speaker. I will just go to my room and read”
what is avoidance (lose-lose)
- low concern for others, low concern for self
- Lose-lose: choosing not to confront
An approach to conflict in which people choose not to confront an issue directly: avoidance can be physical or conversational
MY EX: “My friend and I don’t like to argue so we will not discus the issues”
what is collaboration
- high concern for self, high concern for others
- win-win solutions to conflict: seeking a solutions that satisfies the needs of everyone involved without compromise
An approach to resolving conflict that requires participants to show concern for both themselves and others
MY EX: my friend and I brainstorm all different solutions together, she will have the basement and listen to her music as loud as she wants, and I will be all the way upstairs in my room reading and being able to concentrate
what is competition (win-lose)
- high concern for self, low concern for others
- win-lose: seeking to resolve the conflict your way using either passive aggression or direct agression
An approach to conflict that involves seeking a favourable solution only for yourself
MY EX: “My friend tries to tell me listening to music will lead to more relaxation, But I try stating that I rather read and gain more knowledge then listening to music”
what is compromise
- moderate concern for self, moderate concern for others
An approach to conflict resolution in which both people attain at least part of what they want through self-sacrifice - gives all people at least some of what they want, although it involves everyone sacrificing part of their goals.
- MY EX: we both agree to our differences my friend can listen to music as much as she wants because its her speaker, and I can enjoy my reading time because that’s what I want to do
what is conflict
An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce reward, and interference from the other person in achieving their goals
- MY EX: I WANNA GO TO A CAFÉ, BUT MY BEST FRIEND WANTS TO GO TO A BAR. THEREFORE, WE’RE ARGUING ABOUT WHERE WE WANT TO GO.
what is complementary conflict
the use by partners in a conflict of different, but mutually reinforcing behaviour
MY EX: my friend complains that I don’t spend enough time with her, that makes me annoyed, therefore, I distance myself even more
what is conflict rituals
Repeating patterns of interlocking conflict beaviour
(MY EX: having a fight with my friend, I leave, then I feel guilty about the problem and go back and apologize on my part. But this fight can happen again)
what is escalatory spiral
If both partners treat one another with matching hostility, one threat or insult leads to another
what is passive aggression
An indirect expression of aggression delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness
- occurs when a communicator expresses their dissatisfaction in a disguised manner
(MY EX: Go ahead, enjoy the party without me, I will do all the chores myself (ugh). Have fun for me)
what is serial argument
A repetitive conflict about the same issue
(MY EX: Oh my goodness, why are we talking about this AGAIN!)
what is stonewalling
feed off one another and can develop into destructive, repeating patterns.
(MY EX: My friend likes to roll her eyes at others weird remarks and won’t make eye contact.)
what is symmetrical conflict
The use of the same tactics by both partners in a conflict
MY EX: MY FRIEND RAISES HER CONCERNS, ASSERTIVELY, THEREFORE, I WILL RESPOND BY EXPLAINING MY CONCERNS IN THE SAME MANNER WITH BOTH OF US, NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF AGGRESSION
what is win-win problem solving
the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved.
(MY EX: “We both agree that sharing the living room is the best solution”
What is expressed struggle
An expressed struggle does not have to be verbal. You can show your displeasure with someone without saying a word. A dirty look, the silent treatment, and avoiding the other person are all ways of expressing yourself
(MY EX: I don’t want to talk to them because of what they did to me, so I am going to avoiding them
what is perceived scarce resources
occurs when people believe there are not enough resources, such astime, money, affection and space to go around.
(My EX: What am I going to do, if there is not enough time?!
what is interdependence
people in a conflict are dependent upon each other. The welfare and satisfaction of one depends on the actions of another
- Many conflicts remain unresolved because the people fail to understand, accept, and acknowledge their interdependence
what is inevitability
Conflicts are bound to happen, even in the best relationships.
(MY EX: if I turn away for the purpose of avoiding direct communition, I am sending a non-verbal message of disapproval
what is perceived incompatible goals
The goals in this situation really aren’t completely incompatible—solutions do exist that allow both people to get what they want.
- All conflicts look as if one person’s gain would be another’s loss
what is direct aggression
attack the position and dignity of the receiver
what is “The Situation”
When someone clearly has more power than you, non-assertion may be the best approach
- can shape communication in conflict
ex: if a mangers tell you to apply the document now, you should do it without question
what is “The Other Person”
- sometimes people are not interested in collaboration
- some people are competitive that even for minor issues they put winning ahead of the well-being of their relationships
(MY EX:I had a well orginzaed plan but my friend didn’t care to listen to it)
what is “Your Goals”
- When you want to solve a problem, it’s generally good to be assertive
- there are other reasons for communicating in a conflict.
- your overriding goal might be to calm down an enraged or upset person.
- your moral principles might demand an aggressive statement even though it might not get you what you originally sought
(MY EX: I had enough of you teasing me all the time. I have explain to you why I don’t like them yet. You constantly make them, I’m done with this friendship)
what are the factors to consider before deciding which conflict style to use?
- The other person
- Your goals
- the situation