3 mid term Chapter 5,8,9 Flashcards
what is advising
A listening response in which the receiver offers suggestions about how the speaker should deal with a problem.
- providing the speaker with your opinion about what she should do
what is Ambushing
the tendency to listen carefully, but only to gather the information that can be used to
attack the speaker.
what is Defensive listening
the habit of interpreting innocent comments as personal attacks
what is Insulated listening
the tendency to avoid or fail to hear or acknowledge certain topics.
what is Filling in the gaps
the practice of making up information to give the impression that one was listening and can recall the whole story.
what is Selective listening
the act of listening only to the parts of a speaker’s remarks that interest you.
- Staying attentive and non-verbally responsive without offering verbal feedback.
what is Stage hogging
the practice of only expressing one’s own ideas during conversation
- without inviting others to share theirs.
Pseudo-listening
an imitation of real listening.
- is pretending to pay attention. give the appearance of being attentive, but their minds are elsewhere.
what is silent listening
staying attentive and non- verbally responsive, without saying anything.
- It also can be the right approach when you’re open to the other person’s ideas,
what is questioning
asking the speaker for additional information.
- either to clarify meaning,
- To learn about other people’s thoughts, feelings, and wants,
- To encourage elaboration.
- To encourage discovery,
- To gather more facts and details.
what is paraphrasing and the three approaches
restating, in your own words, the message you thought the speaker sent.
1. Change the speaker’s wording.,
2. Offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about,
3. Describe the underlying theme of the speak- er’s remarks. When you want to summarize the theme that seems to have run through another person’s conversation, a complete or partial perception check is useful:
what is Empathizing
showing that you identify with a speaker.
- is a response style listeners use when they want to show they identify with a speaker.
what is Supporting
revealing your solidarity with the speaker’s situation.
what is Analyzing
listener offering an interpretation of a speaker’s message.
what is evaluating
appraising the speaker’s thoughts or behaviour in some way
what is analytical listening
Attending to the full message before coming to judgment.
what is attending
A phase of the listening process in which the communicator focuses on a message, excluding other messages.
what is closed questions
Questions that limit the range of possible responses, such as questions that seek a yes or no answer.
what is counterfeit questions
Questions that are disguised attempts to send a message rather than elicit information
are really disguised attempts to send a message, not receive one.
what is critical listening
A listening style that involves evaluating the accuracy and consistency of a message’s content.
what is hear
The first stage in the listening process, in which sound
waves are received by a communicator.
what is listening
The process of hearing, attending, understanding, remembering, and responding to messages.
what is listening fidelity
The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was trying
to communicate.
what is mindful listening
Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive.
what is mindless listening
When reacting to others’ messages automatically and routinely, without much mental investment
what is open questions
Questions that allow for a variety of extended responses.
what is relational listening
Concerned with building emotional close- ness with others.
what is remembering
A phase of the listening process in which a message is recalled.
what is responding
A phase of the listening process in which feedback occurs, offering evidence that the message has been received.
what is sincere questions
Genuine attempts to elicit information from others
what is task-oriented listening
Concerned with efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand
Message overload
- We are bombarded with messages even through social media
- it impossible to listen carefully to everything.
- it’s challenging to keep our attention totally focused for long periods.
- we often listen mindlessly rather than mindfully.
Rapid Thought (Listening Gap)
- our minds are so active
- we have a lot of “spare time” to spend with our minds while some- one is talking so we use that time to think of personal interest or daydream
External Noise
The sounds of other conversations, traffic, and music, any psychological noise interfere with our ability to listen well. In addition, fatigue or other forms of discomfort can also distract us.
Social exchange theory:
the practice of seeking out people who can give us rewards that are greater than the costs of dealing with them.
- Comparison level (CL):
a minimum standard of acceptable behaviour.
Comparison level of alternatives (CLalt):
a com- parison between rewards in the present situa- tion and those one could expect to receive from others.
what do we use to decide to form a relationship
Appearance:
Proximity
Disclousre
Competence
Rewards
Complementrarity
Similarity:
what is appearance
- is important in the early statges if relationships,
- Our perceptions of beauty, however, are influenced by more than just societal standards of attractiveness,
- Our interactions with others change our perceptions of their physical appearance.
- Factors such as liking, familiarity, and respect also influence our perceptions of attractiveness
what is similarity
- strongest determinant of relationship formation is similarity to another person
- Factors include skin colour, cultural background, music preference, age, habits etc
-Your attraction to someone will be at its highest when you are similar to someone else in several important areas…………and YOU determine what areas are important to you.
what is complementarity
- Differences strengthen a relationship when they are complementary when each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s needs.
- when each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s needs
- partners agree that one person will exercise control in certain areas and the other will take the lead in different ones
-NOT TURE OPPOSITES ATTRACT
what is proximity
- we’re likely to develop relationships with people with whom we interact frequently
- even has a role in social media, where messaging or chatting can create virtual proximity
what is competence
- We like to be around talented people, likely because we hope their skills and abilities will rub off on us.
- we’re uncomfortable around those who are too competent- probably because we believe we look bad by comparison.
- we tend to like people who are somewhat flawed because they remind us of ourselves
what is self-disclosure
- either in our experiences or in our attitudes
= satisfying self- disclosure is reciprocity, getting back an amount and kind of information equivalent to what you reveal - A second important aspect of successful self-disclosure is timing.
what is rewards
- we often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter by dealing with the relationship.
- Social exchange theorists define rewards as any outcomes we desire
- Rewards − Costs = Predicted Outcome
My ex: the expectation of the cost/benefits of a friendship with be different then the expectation of the cost/benefits of a truly serious romantic relationship
what are the stages of relational development
COMING TOGETHER: Intensifying, Experimenting, Initiating
RELATIONAL MAINTEANCE: Circumscribing, Differentiating, Bonding, Integrating
COMING APART: Stagnating, Avoiding, Terminating
what is Initiating
making contact; demonstrating that you are worth talking to.
ex: “ I am a kind person, therefore I would care to listen to you and I would like it if we could know more about each other
what is experimenting
searching for common ground; engaging in small talk.
ex: “what are you studying”
what is intensifying
beginning to develop a personal relationship; spending more time together and experiencing excitement
ex” I can’t wait to see you, I have the whole day planned out, it gonna be awesome”
what is integrating
taking on an identity as a social unit; shared commitments, property and obligations grow.
ex”I think its a wonderful idea to spend Christmas morning at your family, and we go to mine for dinner”
what is bonding
making a symbolic gesture to announce the relationship publicly (e.g., marriage, business partnership).
ex” Drafting a business contract to join two companies together”
what is differentiating
re-establishing individual identities; can be stressful, positive, or both.
ex”How am I different from cousins when we are related. Is that good or bad?”
what is avoiding
creating distance; expressing detachment, avoiding involvement, showing antagonism, dissociating mentally.
ex” Please do not ask me question right now, I had a tough day and want to relax”
what is circumscribing
decreasing the quantity and quality of communication; avoiding conversations about problems in the relationship.
ex”my family, your family” “my pet, your pet”
what is stagnating
going through hollow routines; no growth in the relationship; little joy or novelty.
ex: I can’t stay in this club that is not letting me learn and use my ideas, but I have to stay so I can put it on my records
what is terminating
ending the relationship; can be negative, positive, or both.
ex: calling my someone and telling them I don’t want to be friends anymore because of their actions
what is content and relational messages
- The most obvious component of most messages is their content—the subject being discussed
- every message both verbal and non-verbal has a second, relational dimension, which makes statements about how the communicators feel toward one another
- deal with one or more of the social needs: intimacy, affinity, respect, and control.
- Most of the time, we’re unaware of the relational messages that bombard us every day.
what is good to do to verify in relational messages
good idea to verify the accuracy of your interpretation with the other person
what is metacommunication
to describe messages that refer to other messages
- communication about communication “I wish we can just calm down” “I think we should just stop fighting”
what is content dimension
the subject of a message being discussed.
what is relational dimension
a statement describing how the speaker feels about the listener (can be non-verbal or verbal).
what is relational maintenance
- ## can be defined as communication that keeps relationships running smoothly and satisfactorily.
just as an FYI what are the five strategies most commonly used by university students were:
- openness
- assurances
- joint activities
- positivity
- social networks
what is social support
is about helping others during challenging times by providing emotional, informational, or instrumental resources
- Providing and receiving social support can strengthen our connections with others and deepen our appreciation of the relationships we have with them.
what is communication climate
- refers to the social tone of a relationship.
- communication climates are shared by everyone within them.
- people can change their communication climates
how are communication climate develop
- ## are determined by the degree to which people see themselves as valued.
what is confirming communication
to describe direct and/or indirect messages that convey valuing
what is disconfirming communication
signals a lack of regard
what is the HURIER Model of Listening (GOOD LISTENING)
Hearing
Understanding
Remembering
Interpreting
Evaluating
Responding
what is hearing
- includes physiological reception of sound vibration patterns from the environment.
- anything that negatively impacts your ability to accurately receive sounds,
- can use non-verbal cues - the more interesting the topic, the more it is easier to listen to
what is understanding
- needs comprehension
- focused on the meaning of the message
- Do not judge during the understanding stage, because you need more to process
- Understanding takes place internally and involves cognitive thought
what is remembering
- involves bringing information stored in our memories to help process current information and also to help us predict the future.
- Becomes critical if you want to use the current message content in future situations
- we do not remember any message or event word for word (action for action)
- It mainly a personalized view of the essence of a message and the overall tone but not every detail
what is interpreting
- involves the consideration of context
- Must always make an effort to understand and interpret the content of the message not only from your view but the view of the speaker (sender)
- True interpretation not only ensures that listening is focused on the verbal but also on the nonverbal.
what is evaluating
- rating the information
- our biases, beliefs, values, attitudes, motivations and past experiences impact the process of considering the senders viewpoint
- we decide if we agree or disagree with the speaker’s message remembering that we need to do this from the speaker’s point of view
- Does the message have personal meaning to us?
what is responding
- requires that listener become a sender.
- communicate to the sender/speaker that you are listening
- a listener chooses an appropriate response in order to communicate their own thoughts about the message received
what are personal filters
- always going to be factors that influence our perceptions - both internal and external
- You are also going to interpret, evaluate and understand under the influence of your memories.
- Our emotions, assumptions, our age, maturity and attitudes, our psychological and physiological ‘state’ at that moment, our motivations towards (or away from) a topic, our biases and expectations and many other similar factors will necessarily filter the message we are receiving.
what is context
- consider the context of any communication.
- Responses need to be adapted to the context that a message is being communicated in
what is message complexity
Contains to many details and hard to process because they contain too many details or contain language that is not familiar to us
what is preoccupation
We are thinking of something else that is taking our mind away from the conversation
what is effort
We don’t make an effort to listen
what is faulty assumptions
Stereotypes, you are making a untrue or unknown assumptions
what is Lack of Apparent Advantages
Sometimes we think we are at a disadvanget so we don’t try to listen
what is lack of training
You are not training to be an active listener
- AN ACTIVE LISTENER ASKES QUESTION AND PARAPHRASES
hearing problems
- psychological - hearing loss
reciprocal attraction
- We are talking about Relationship
- We like people who like us
- they tend to build our self-esteem
What is Identity management
- Our presenting
- What we show from the outside
- Managing multiple identities
what is social influence
allow people to disclose information that is more personal more easily but revealing those personal details doesn’t always increase like ability or build trust
what is self-clarification
- Do we understand ourselves?
- Do we understand our multiple identities?
what is reciprocity
getting back an amount and kind of information equivalent to what you reveal
what is self-validation
- You have to like yourself
- Validate your own self
what is Catharsis
- Sometimes just by talking, is it apposite with this person
- We just have to sometimes get things of our chest
what is relationship management
- Both members need to discolours each other self
- Its a two way street
what is risk of self-disclosure
It may not be reciprocated
People can have power over you after what you have told them about yourself
what is Knapps Model of Relational Development, Maintenance
- Some relationships don’t go on forever and the steps involving the dissolution of a relationship occur.
- it is necessary to clearly and completely terminate the entire relationship OR a specific aspect of that relationship
- A relationship is not completely terminated if both parties are not aware that it has been
what are the types of Relationships
- Independent: both members of the relationship DO NOT NEED ANYTHING FROM THE OTHERS, NEITHER PERSON HAS POWER OVER THE OTHER PERSON
- Dependent: one person needs something that the other person has or can get. I need something you have, so you have the power and I don’t
- Interdependent: both members of the relationship need something that the other has, so each person controls some aspect of power in the relationship
In a stable relationship, there is agreement about how power will be used and resources shared
Negotiation will occur
what are the types of power
-Legitimate power: power that is included in your position with in a organizational structure
can be hired or promoted to this type of power
only exists when people acknowledge that the organizational structure is legitimate and that they agree to follow the rules.
- Referent Power: power that is given to someone based on their attractiveness or charisma
People you find attractive in any way, have referent power over you if you want some form of a relationship with them - Expert Power: obtain from knowledge
Anyone that knows something that another person needs have expert power - Reward Power: if you can somehow reward or provide a benefit to someone, you have reward power.
- Coercive power: the ability to punish or withhold a reward
what are communication climates
- When we communicate and interact with people, we create a climate in our relationships that make it easier to communicate or more difficult.
- Open climates more meaningful communication
- Defensive climates more difficult because
- climates that you help create and maintain, will influence future climates regardless of whether you are present in the future situation.
Confirmation and Disconfrimation
Confirmation – we feel valued and respected. We will normally perceive behaviours that make us feel needed and respected as confirming
Disconfirmation – behaviours that make us feel disrespected or not important.
