Chapter 1: Building Blocks of Relationships Flashcards
What are the 7 components of Intimacy
knowledge, interdependence, caring, trust, responsiveness, mutuality, commitment
Knowledge
intimate partners have extensive personal, often confidential, information about each other
Interdependence
intimate partners have strong diverse and enduring influence on each other
Caring
intimate partners feel more affection for one another than they do for most others
Trust
intimate partners expects treatment from one another that is fair and honorable
Responsiveness
intimate partners are more attentive to each others needs, and they support each other more effectively than they do most others
Mutuality
intimate partners think of themselves as a couple instead of two entirely separate individuals
Commitment
intimate partners expect their relationship to continue and they work to realize that goal
The Need to Belong
a powerful drive to establish intimate connections to others; people suffer both mentally and physically when they lack intimacy; tendency to form stable, affectionate connections to others may have been evolutionarily adaptive
Impact of Loneliness
accelerate buildup of plaque in arteries; promotes inflammation of the brain; can contribute to alzheimers disease; can accelerate cancer growth; poor social relationships are associated with a 29% increase in risk of coronary heart disease
The Influence of Culture
times have changed since our grandparents married; fewere people are marrying; people are waiting longer to marry; people routinely live together even when they are not married; people often have babies when they are not married; about 1/2 marriages end in divorce; most children have mothers who work outside the home; sex ratio
Why have our cultural norms changed?
increasing socioeconomic development (people have more choices in affulent cultures); increasing individualism; new technology (being able to control fertility);
Technoference
frequent interruptions of their interactions that are caused by their technological devices
Phubbing
which occurs when one partner snubs another by focusing on a phone; is obnoxious; no one likes to be ignored while you text or talk with someone else
Sex Ratio
sex ratio is lower (fewer men)
Cultures with high sex ratios…
few women; tend to support traditional roles and to be sexually conservative
Cultures with low sex ratios….
few men; tend to be less traditional and more permissive
The Influence of Experience
attachment styles; anxiety about abandonment; avoidance of intimacy
Attachment Styles
infants interactions with their caregivers shape this; their learned orientations toward relationships with others
What are the 3 attachment styles?
secure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant
Secure
trusting and relaxed
Anxious-Ambivalent
nervous and clingy
Avoidant
suspicious and withdrawn
Anxiety about Abandonment
the worry that others will find us unworthy and leave us
Avoidance of Intimacy
affects the ease and trust with which we accept interdependent intimacy with others
What are the 4 categories of adult attachment?
secure, preoccupied, dismissing, and fearful
Secure (adult)
comfortable with intimacy and interdependence; optimistic and sociable
Preoccupied
uneasy and vigilant toward any threat to the relationship; needy and jealous
Dismissing
self-reliant and uninterested in intimacy; indifferent and independent
Fearful
fearful of rejection and mistrustful of others; suspicious and shy
Attachment Styles are…
learned through our experiences in close relationships
The Influence of Individual Differences
we are all individuals with our own combinations of experiences and traits; sex differences, gender differences, personality, self esteem
Sex differences
stereotypes suggests large differences; actual interests, styles, and abilities of men and women overlab substantially; some sex differences are quite small; misguided to say men and women are very different
Gender Differences
gender refers to social and psychological distinctions created by our cultures and upbringing; gender roles: men are expected to masculine and women feminine but only about half of us have attributes that fit these expectations well
Masculine traits are…
instrumental traits
Feminine traits are…
expressive traits
Androgynous
many of us are both instrumental and expressive; being both assertive and warm and sensitive and self-reliant
The Big Five Personality Traits
agreeableness- cooperative and trusting; extraversion- outgoing and sociable; conscientiousness- dutiful and dependable; neuroticism- anxious and angry; openness to experience- imaginative and unconventional
Sociometer Theory
self-esteem guage that measures the quality of our relationships with others; when others like us, we like ourselves
When people have low self-esteem…
underestimate their partners love for them; less optimistic that their loves will last; perceive disregard where none exists; respond less constructively to conflicts
The Influence of Human Nature
evolution has instilled in us certain tendencies that shape our relationships; some characteristics/traits may have helped our ancestors so they have become more common place;
What are the three assumptions of evolutionary psychology?
sexual selection has sculpted our species; men and women differ only to the extent that they have faced different reproductive dilemmas; cultures determine whether certain behaviors are adpative and cultural changes occur faster than human nature does
What are different reproductive delimmas that men and women face?
parental investment, paternity uncertainty, short term vs. long term lovers
Parental Investment
men and women differ enormously in the minimum time and biological effort they have to provide to each child they produce; so it is adaptive for women to be more careful inchooseing their mates
Paternity Uncertainty
men, but not women, may face doubts about whether or not a particular child is theirs; so men are especially vigilant toward the threat of marital infidelity
Short Term vs. Long Term Lovers
what we like in casual, short term lovers may differ from what we seek in committed, long term mates; ex) women may prefer sexy, charismatic, and dominant men for short term liaisons, they may not consider such men to make very good husbands, particularly if they are poor
The Influence of Interaction
relationships emerge from the combination of the partners experience ad talents and are often much more than the sum of those parts; two people may create a relationship that only faintly resembles the relationships they share with other people
Relationships are….
fluid, dynamic processes rather than static, changeless things
What is the dark side of intimacy?
intimacy is sometimes costly; distres and displeasure sometimes result from our dealings with others
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