Ch8 Imporoving Interpersonal Relations with Constructive Self-Disclosure Flashcards
Relationships grow stronger when people are willing to reveal more about themselves and their work experiences.
Self-Disclosure
People can work together for years and never really get to know each other.
Self-Disclosure
Self-disclosure can lead to a more open and supportive environment in the workplace.
Self-Disclosure
The process of letting someone know what you think, feel or want.
Self-Disclosure
Revealing private, personal info that can’t be acquired elsewhere .
Self-Disclosure
Often involves a degree of risk, courage
Self-Disclosure
Can improve communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen interpersonal relationships
Self-Disclosure
On the other hand, self-description involves disclosure of nonthreatening information.
Self-Description
Information that can usually be acquired in some other way
Self-Description
Increased accuracy in communication
- Takes the guesswork out of communication
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
Reduction of stress
- Keeping thoughts and feelings bottled up can be taxing
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
Increased self-awareness
- Helps you recognize your own moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
Stronger relationships
- You may discover that you have common interests and concerns as others
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
Increased authenticity
- Being able to be congruent with your values and needs
- People trust you when you are genuine
Benefits of Self-Disclosure
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Your “public” area
Open Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Both you and others know information you don’t mind admitting about yourself
Open Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- A productive relationship is related to the amount of mutually held information.
Open Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Building a relationship involves working to expand this area.
Open Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- As self-awareness and sharing of information and feelings increase, this pane becomes larger.
Open Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Information you know about you, but others don’t know,
Hidden Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- People may wonder if you are the same on the inside as you present yourself on the outside; may perceive you as lacking authenticity .
Hidden Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- When you allow yourself to be “seen,” and it’s easier for people to relate to you as a human being with faults, strengths, thoughts, and emotions.
Hidden Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- What others know about you that you aren’t aware of
Blind Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Effective relations strive to reduce this area
Blind Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Open communication and self-disclosure encourages people to give you feedback
Blind Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Information in the blind area is acquired when you learn about people’s perceptions of you
Blind Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Things unknown to you and others
Unknown Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Ex: unrecognized talents, unconscious motives
Unknown Area
The Johari Window: A Model of Self-Understanding
- Because no one can ever be known completely, this area never disappears.
Unknown Area
Make an effort to self-disclose thoughts and feelings that will improve a relationship
Achieving Greater Awareness
Increase the amount of feedback from others
- Solicit feedback from multiple people whose opinions you value
- Be open to criticism; it is often a gift aimed at helping you
- Value feedback from people who have observed your behavior in multiple contexts
Achieving Greater Awareness
Evaluations by people who have had opportunities to observe their performance: boss, peers, subordinates; sometimes customers/clients/patients
360-Degree Feedback
Usually anonymous and often provides valuable insights
360-Degree Feedback
Involves risk if not done correctly
360-Degree Feedback
Ideally should include summary report and plan for growth.
360-Degree Feedback
Information should be disclosed constructively
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Often means changing attitudes and behaviors
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Before disclosing, ask yourself:
- How much and how intimate?
- With whom?
- Under what conditions?
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Appropriate Self-Disclosure: Many work relationships are unnecessarily strained because people refuse to talk about real or imagined problems.
Repair Damaged Relationships
Self-disclosure can repair damaged relationships through:
- The Art of Apologizing
- The Art of Forgiveness
Repair Damaged Relationships
If your actions have caused hurt feelings, anger, or deep-seated ill will, an apology is in order.
The Art of Apologizing
Apologizing is not an acknowledgement of weakness.
The Art of Apologizing
A sincere apology can have a tremendous amount of healing power for both the receiver and the giver.
The Art of Apologizing
Some apologies make things worse
The Art of Apologizing
An effective apology will communicate the three Rs: Regret, Responsibility, and Remedy.
The Art of Apologizing
Regret: Communicate the regret you feel sincerely.
- Even in cases where your intention was not to upset or hurt someone, the apology must come from your heart.
The Art of Apologizing
Responsibility: Do not make excuses or blame others. Accept total responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t say, “I’m sorry about what happened, but you shouldn’t have…”
The Art of Apologizing
Remedy: A meaningful apology should include a commitment to not repeat the behavior. It might also include an offer of restitution.
The Art of Apologizing
If a coworker, a friend, or a family member, offers a sincere apology, be quick to forgive.
The Art of Apologizing
Forgiveness is almost never easy, especially when you feel you have been wronged. But forgiveness is the only way to break the bonds of blame and bitterness.
The Art of Apologizing
Forgiveness provides healing and liberates your energy and your creativity.
The Art of Apologizing
Present Constructive Criticism with Care
- Constructive criticism is self-disclosure that helps another person look at their own behavior without getting defensive
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Present Constructive Criticism with Care
Two effective methods:
- Avoid starting your message with “You,” such as “You didn’t complete your monthly inventory report.”
+ Use “I-statements.” “I am concerned that you have not completed your monthly inventory report.”
- Make a specific request for the future instead of pointing out something negative in the past
+ Instead of saying, “You did not have authorization to order office supplies,” try saying, “In the future, please obtain authorization before ordering office supplies.”
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Discuss Disturbing Situations as They Happen
Share reactions to work-related problems as soon as possible after the incident.
- It is often difficult to recapture a feeling once it has passed, and you may distort the incident if you let too much time go by
- The person who erred is also likely to forget details about the situation.
- Clear the air as soon as possible so you can enjoy greater peace of mind.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Sharing feelings involves risk and courage
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- You are trusting the other person not to ridicule or embarrass you
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Emotions in the work setting are sometimes viewed as inappropriate, yet experiencing emotions is a part of being human.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- People should not be expected to turn off their feelings the moment they arrive at work.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Select the Right Time & Place
- What you say may be fine, but the when and where may be the problem.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Select the Right Time & Place
- Select a time when the other person will not be preoccupied and can give you their full attention.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Select the Right Time & Place
- Select a place free from distractions
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Avoid Overwhelming Others
- Be open, but remember: relationships are built slowly
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Avoid Overwhelming Others
- Abrupt disclosure of emotional or intimate information may distance you from others
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Avoid Overwhelming Others
- Balance between openness and protecting each other’s feelings.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
Role vs. Interpersonal Relationships
Self-disclosure is more likely to take place within an organization when people feel comfortable:
- Stepping outside impersonal, assigned work roles.
- Displaying more openness and tolerance for the feelings of others.
Barriers to Self-Disclosure
Cengage Learning: Employees are rated by persons who have had opportunities to observe their performance.
360–degree feedback
Cengage Learning: This pane of the Johari Window consists of information about yourself that others know but you are not aware of.
Blind area
Cengage Learning: A form of self–disclosure that helps another person look at his or her own behavior without putting that individual on the defensive.
Constructive criticism
Cengage Learning: This pane of the Johari Window contains information about you that you know but others do not.
Hidden area
Cengage Learning: This model identifies four kinds of information about you that affect your communication with others. It is divided into four panes, or areas, labeled (1) open, (2) blind, (3) hidden, and (4) unknown.
Johari Window
Cengage Learning: This pane of the Johari Window represents your “pubic” or “awareness” area; information about you that both you and others know.
Open area
Cengage Learning: The process of replaying a problem over and over in our mind.
Rumination
Cengage Learning: Knowledge of oneself: one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, likes, and desires.
Self–Awareness
Cengage Learning: The disclosure of nonthreatening information.
Self-Discription
Cengage Learning: The act of revealing or exposing the self or aspects of the self.
Self–Disclosure
Cengage Learning: An element of both character (which includes integrity) and competence. It is at the core of all meaningful relationships
Trust
Cengage Learning: This pane of the Johari Window is made up of things unknown to you and others.
Unknown area
Cengage Learning: 1. A self-describing person will disclose:
information about herself that could be acquired through some other means.
Cengage Learning: 2. Which of the following is not a benefit gained from self-disclosure?
Increased likeability.
Cengage Learning: 3. Because people cannot read minds, appropriate self-disclosure on the job often results in:
more accurate communication in the workplace.
Cengage Learning: 4. ________ is the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
Self-awareness
Cengage Learning: 5. Ten years ago, Anthony was fired because his antagonistic personality adversely affected his work performance and that of his coworkers. He overcame his personality problems, and has positive references from employers for whom he has worked since then. Anthony includes on his resume the position from which he was dismissed, but never tells the real reason for leaving that position. His behavior shows that this firing is in Anthony’s:
Hidden pane
Cengage Learning: 6. Reducing one’s defensiveness about receiving feedback at work will have what effect on an employee’s Johari Window?
Enlarge the open pane
Cengage Learning: 7. Brian, a very productive customer service representative for an insurance company, lied to his coworkers about the date of his mother’s funeral so that he could extend his leave for a few extra days. When they discovered Brian’s lie, his coworkers felt wronged and bitter. Brian apologized sincerely for lying when he was confronted. His supervisor docked his pay for his unauthorized absence and placed an official reprimand in his personnel file. Brian’s work continues to be of high quality. What is the best way for the coworkers to overcome their negative feelings toward Brian?
Accept Brian’s apology and forgive him for having wronged them.
Cengage Learning: 8. Which of the following is not essential when giving an apology?
a. Regret
b. Responsibility
c. Remedy
d. ALL OF THESE ARE ESSENTIAL.
Cengage Learning: 9. The most pervasive obstacle to appropriate self-disclosure in the workplace is:
lack of trust.
Cengage Learning: 10. Contrary to conventional workplace wisdom, the best supervisors often:
display a sense of humor.
Cengage Learning: 11. Tom is a self-disclosing person, while Linda is a self-describing person. Which statement describes them best?
Tom takes more risk in what he reveals than does Linda.
Cengage Learning: 12. Which part of the Johari Window represents information that one does not mind revealing to others?
Open pane
Cengage Learning: 13. Repairing damaged relationships, presenting criticism with care and discussing disturbing situations are beneficial towards developing:
appropriate self-disclosure.
Cengage Learning: 14. Which of the following questions do Buddha advocates ask when to speaking to others?
a. Is the statement true?
b. Is the statement necessary?
c. Is the statement kind?
d. ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS THAT MUST BE ASKED
Cengage Learning: 15. In a vicious cycle, tight controls and veiled threats in the workplace:
precede a defensive attitude.
