Ch 7: Listening - Receiving and Responding Flashcards
The Importance of Listening (210-211)
“John Gentile (2004) argues that listening to one another’s personal narratives (see Chapter 4) is fundamental to our humanity and sense of well-being” (211).
listening (211)
the process of receiving and responding to others’ messages
hearing (212)
1st stage in listening process, in which sound waves are received by a communicator
mindless listening (212)
-a term from Ellen Langer (1990)
reacting to others’ messages automatically and routinely, without much mental involvement
“While the term mindless may sound negative, this sort of low-level informatoin processing is a potentially valuable type of communication, since it frees us to focus our minds on messages that require our careful attention (Burgoon et al., 2000)” (213).
mindful listening (213)
-a term from Ellen Langer (1990)
careful and thoughtful attention and responses to others’ messages
Reasons for Listening (214-216)
- to understand and retain information
- to evaluate the quality of messages (aka critical listening)
- to build and maintain relationships
- to help others
listening fidelity (215)
the degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message-sender was attempting to communicate
invitational attitude (215)
“…what communication theorists Sonja Foss and Cindy Griffin (Foss & Foss, 2003; Lozano-Reich & Cloud, 2009) call to learn more about perspectives other than their own” (215).
The Challenges of Listening (216-219)
- it’s not easy (info overload, personal concerns, rapid thought, noise)
- all listeners do not receive the same message
- poor listening habits
pseudolistening (218)
an imitation of true listening in which the receiver’s mind is elsewhere
stage hogging (218)
a listening style in which the receiver is more concerned with making his or her own point than in understanding the speaker
selective listening (218)
a listening style in which the receiver responds only to messages that interest her or him
filling in gaps (219)
a listening habit that involves adding details never mentioned by a speaker to complete a message
insulated listening (219)
a style in which the receiver ignores undesirable information
defensive listening (219)
a response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker’s comments as an attack
ambushing (219)
a style in which the receiver listens carefully in order to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker
Components of Listening (219-222)
- Hearing (219-220)
- Attending (220-221)
- Understanding (221)
- Remembering (221-222)
- Responding (222)
attending (220)
a phase of listening process in which the communicator focuses on a message, excluding other messages
-we attend more when theres a payoff
nonverbal learning disorder (Palombo, 2006) (220)
“due to a processing deficit in the right hemisphere of the brain, people w/this disorder have trouble making sense of many nonverbal cues”
understanding (221)
a stage in the listening process in which the receiver attaches meaning to a message
remembering (221)
the ability to recall information once we’ve understood it
responding (222)
giving observable feedback to the speaker (Bostrom, 1996)
-one study “showed that a major diff. b/w effective & ineffective listening was the kind of feedback offered (Lewis & Reinsch, 1988)”.
Types of Listening Responses (222-240)
(More reflective / less directive) -Silent Listening (223) -Questioning (224-226) -Paraphrasing (227-229) -Empathizing (229-231) -Supporting (231-234) -Analyzing (235) -Evaluating (235-236) -Advising (236-237) (Less reflective / more directive)
Silent Listening (223)
staying attentive and non-verbally responsive without offering any verbal feedback
“hearing into being” (223)
- Sonia Johnson (1987)
- during brainstorming sessions, each participant has totally uninterrupted floor time
- “When we are free to talk w/o the threat of interruption, evaluation, and the pressure of time, we move quickly past known territory out into the frontiers of thought”.
-pros: developing your ideas w/o interruption or judgment
questioning (224)
a listening response in which the receiver seeks additional information from the sender
-regarded as “the most popular piece of language” (Goodman & Esterly, 1990)
reasons to ask sincere, nondirective questions (224-225)
- to clarify meanings
- to learn about others’ thoughts, feelings, & wants
- to encourage elaboration
- “we can encourage elaboration simply by acknowledging that we are listening”
4. to encourage discovery - “most importantly, encouraging discover rather than dispensing advice indicates you have faith in others’ ability to think for themselves” (225)
5. to gather more facts and details
open vs. closed questions (224)
“When inquiring about personal info, it is usually best to ask open questions that allow a variety of extended responses rather than closed questions that only allow a limited range of answers” (224).
sincere vs. counterfeit questions (225)
“Whereas sincere questions are aimed at understanding others, counterfeit questions are really disguised attempted to send a message, not receive one” (225).
varietites of counterfeit questions (225-226)
- questions that trap the speaker
ie. “Did you?” or “Isn’t that right?” / leading questions - questions that make statements
ie. “Are you finally off the phone?” - questions that carry hidden agendas
ie. “Are you busy Friday night?” - questions that seek “correct” answers
- questions based on unchecked assumptions
ie. “What’s the matter?”
paraphrasing (227)
feedback that restates, in your own words, the message you thought the speaker sent
-it’s important that you paraphrase, not “parrot-phrase” (227)
types of paraphrasing statements (227-228)
- change the speaker’s wording
- offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about
- reflect the underlying theme of the speaker’s remarks
2 levels of paraphrasing
- factual info - simply summarizing facts
2. personal info - listening for the feeling, thought (cognitive), and desire or want
empathizing (229)
a response style listeners use when they want to show that they identify with a speaker
“cold comfort” (230)
(Burleson, 2003; Hample, 2006)
when listeners believe they are empathizing when, in fact, they are offering responses that are evaluative and directive
examples of “cold comfort” (230-231)
- Denying others the right to their feelings (“It’s nothing to get upset about”)
- minimizing the significance of the situation (“Hey, it’s only _______”)
- Focus on yourself (“I know exactly how you feel. Let me tell you about…”)
- Raining on the speaker’s parade (“Big deal. I did that too…”)
supporting (231)
reveal the listener’s solidarity with the speaker’s situation
Burleson (2003) describes supporting as “expressions of care, concern, affection and interest, especially during times of stress or upset”
types of supportive responses (232)
- Agreement
- Offers to help
- Praise
- Reassurance
- Diversion
-support helps buffer the effects of aging (Fitzpatrick et al., 2005), anxiety and depression (Hatchett & park, 2004), and even financial strain (Ramirez-Ponce, 2005)
