Ch. 11: Managing Conflict

Question 1

conflict (according to William Wilmot & Joyce Hocker) (351)

Answer 1

an expressed struggle b/w at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals

Question 2

What is conflict? (351)

Answer 2

• expressed struggle (351): both ppl must know it exists
• perceived incompatible goals (351): all conflicts look as if one person’s gain would be another’s loss
• perceived scarce resources (352): when ppl believe there isn’t enough of something to go around
• interdependence (352): must take the “we’re all in this together” attitude to resolve anything
• inevitability (352-353): frequency of college student + family + couple conflicts

Question 3

Functional & Dysfunctional Conflicts (353)

Answer 3

the difference doesn’t rest on the subject of the conflict… moreso the method of resolution

Question 4

dysfunctional conflict (353)

Answer 4

the outcomes fall short of what is possible & have a damaging effect on the relationship

Question 5

functional conflict (353)

Answer 5

participants achieve the best possible outcome, even strengthening the relationship

Question 6

Integration versus Polarization (354)

Answer 6

-ppl in functional conflict are problem-oriented, focusing on solving the problem in a way that works for everybody

Question 7

Cooperation versus Opposition (354)

Answer 7

• in dysfunctional conflict, ppl see eachother as opponents

- functional conflict = cooperation may bring an answer that leaves everyone happy

Question 8

Confirmation versus Disconfirmation (355)

Answer 8

• using supportive behaviors
• remain affectionate
• ppl may disagree but they are not disagreeable

Question 9

Agreement versus Coercion (355)

Answer 9

• “Do it my way, or else” (Tuval-Mashiach & Shulman, 2006)
• Tools: money, favors, friendliness, sex, physical coercion

ex. authoritarian parents turning children’s requests into “unreasonable demands”

Question 10

De-escalation versus Escalation (355)

Answer 10

-one clear sign of functional conflict is that in the long run the behaviors of the participants solve more problems than they create

Question 11

Focusing versus Drifting (355)

Answer 11

-in drifting, the original issue becomes lost as the conflict expands

Question 12

“Kitchen sink fighers” (356)

Answer 12

dysfunctional battlers; George Bach & Peter Wyden (1983) – not “one problem at a time” solvers

Question 13

Foresight versus Shortsightedness (356)

Answer 13

• being “right”
• overlooking a possible solution
• jumping into conflict w/o considering more constructive solutions

-foresight helps participants “pick their battles wisely”

Question 14

Positive versus Negative Results (357)

Answer 14

2 consequences of dysfunctional relationships:

• no one gets what they want
• conflicts can threaten the future of the relationship

benefit of functional relationships:
-reward of successfully facing a challenge; growth

Question 15

Conflict Styles (357-366)

Answer 15

Avoidance (Lose-Lose)
Accommodation (Lose-Win)
Competition (Win-Lose)
Compromise (Negotiated Lose-Lose)
Collaboration (Win-Win)

Question 16

avoidance (358)

Answer 16

• when ppl nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflict
• low concern for their own needs & interests of other person
• “selectively ignoring” other person’s minor flaws is ok

Question 17

accommodation (360)

Answer 17

• when we allow others to have their own way rather than asserting our own point of view
• low concern for self & high concern for others

Question 18

Asian cultures (360)

Answer 18

high-context, collectivistic backgrounds

-regard avoidance & accommodation as face-saving & noble ways to handle conflict

Question 19

United States culture (360)

Answer 19

low-context, individualistic cultures

-avoidance & accommodation viewed less positively

Question 20

Competition (361)

Answer 20

• high concern for self & low concern for others
• opposite of accommodation
• “my way”
• Laura Tracy (1991) says we live in a competitive society
• Susan Messman & Rebecca Mikesell (2000): competition as a measure of regard

Question 21

Passive aggression (361)

Answer 21

occurs when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner

-can take the form of “crazymaking” (Bach & Wyden, 1983) – tactics designed to punish another person w/o direct confrontation (guilt!)

Question 22

direct aggression (362)

Answer 22

• lashes out to attack the source of displeasure
• Dominic Infante (1987) identified 9 types:
  1. character attacks
  2. competence attacks
  3. physical appearance attacks
  4. maledictions (wishing bad fortune)
  5. teasing
  6. ridicule
  7. threats
  8. swearing
  9. nonverbal emblems (fist shaking, waving arms..)

Question 23

compromise (362)

Answer 23

gives both ppl at least some of what they want

• both partially sacrifice
• Albert Filley (1975) and compromising values