Ch. 13: Relationships Across the Lifespan Flashcards
sociometric testing
a method of quantifying the social standing of individuals within a group
-Children in a defined group (often a classroom) are inter-viewed individually and asked to name who they like and who they dislike within the group. Then the researchers add up the number of positive and negative mentions that each child earns from the rest of the group
-four distinct categories of social standing:
popular
rejected
controversial
neglected
popular
Those who are liked by many peers and disliked by few
-those who would turn out to be popular knew how to ease themselves into a new situation, a skill that comes in handy when a new school year begins, and at many other stages of life as well
rejected
Those who are liked by few of their peers and disliked by many
the most talkative but also the most disagreeable— an extremely unpopular combination.
experience a range of negative outcomes as young adults, including poor performance in school, delinquency, and criminal behavior
controversial
Those who are liked and disliked by many peers at the same time
They are as aggressive as those in the rejected group, but they compensate with relatively high social skills like those in the popular group.
Their outcomes tend to be much more positive than the outcomes of the rejected, another illustration of the benefits of even a small group of friends.
neglected
Those who are rarely mentioned as being liked or disliked
Children in this group score low on measures of social skills and on measures of aggression; they are more shy and withdrawn.
rejected children were more likely to display externalizing behaviors (e. g., fighting with other children, vandalism, disobedience), whereas neglected children were more likely to display internalizing behaviors (e. g., withdrawal, depression)
socioemotional selectivity theory
proposes that, as people age, they become increasingly aware of their mortality. Knowing they have no time to waste, they pay close attention to the emotional aspects of their lives, seeking out circumstances and relationships that promote positive emo-tions, and actively avoiding those that lead to negative emotions
most older adults do describe themselves as happy with their relationships on average, and the oldest among them rate themselves happier with their relationships than the younger respondents
As adults get older, they seem less likely to stick around in unsatisfying relationships, leaving the ones remaining in their relationships reporting higher satisfaction on average
older couples manage conflict differently, and apparently better, than younger couples.
even the unhappiest of the older couples were significantly less likely to initiate negative behaviors than the unhappiest younger couples.
four distinct groups of cohabiting couples
Precursor to marriage
Coresidential daters
Trial marriage
Substitute marriage
Precursor to marriage
46 percent
The largest group
these couples were engaged or about to become engaged, and they were living together as a step toward getting married
Coresidential daters
29 percent
These couples were romantically involved but had no plans to marry, and weren’t even sure their relation-
ship was permanent
They had moved in together for various reasons
(including financial convenience) that had little to do with a serious investment in the relationship
Trial marriage
15 percent
These couples were not engaged and had no
specific plans to get engaged, but they were open to the idea and hoped living together would help them evaluate whether marriage would be worth pursuing
Substitute marriage
10 percent
The smallest group
these couples had no intention of getting engaged or married, but nevertheless believed their relationship was permanent
Divorce and cohabitation
the majority of cohabiting relationships end within a year, and 90 percent end within 5 years
couples who cohabit before marriage report lower marital satisfaction and a higher risk of divorce than those who get married without living together first
could be due to a selection effect
-Couples who live together before getting married tend to be those who are less traditional and more accepting of divorce in the first place
Marriage and the Transition to Parenthood
happiest couples become parents the earliest
those who are less satisfied are more likely to delay becoming parents or to avoid parenthood altogether
examined marital satisfaction in newlyweds, none of whom yet had children, and then continued to assess these couples over time as some of them made the
transition to parenthood and some did not
-couples who became parents experienced steeper declines in satisfaction than those who did not, but the
declines were especially steep for couples who
had not planned to become parents
-Married couples who have children together are significantly less likely to divorce than couples without children
-couples who have successfully navigated the challenges of parenting do experience an improvement in marital satisfaction immediately after their children leave home
-On the other hand, for the least satisfied parents,
the departure of the last child removes a barrier to ending the relationship, and divorce rates go up slightly as well
Denver Family Development Project and other similar studies of long term relationships
a group of engaged couples and observed them discussing their problems every year for the first 10 years of their marriages
-For the couples who stayed married throughout that time, these interactions grew more negative as the years passed
even couples who manage to keep their negativity in
check may get discouraged if they fail to maintain the positive elements of their relationship
surveys do confirm that couples have sex less frequently as they get older, and the declines are steepest during the early years of marriage
solution:
Each new activity shared with a partner is a chance for discovery, and it makes sense that, in a dangerous world, we would have evolved an acute sensitivity to things that are new and unknown
Divorce and Remarriage
People lose faith in their marriages, but they do not appear to lose faith in marriage as an institution
-nearly 80 percent of people who have been divorced remarry
people who have divorced generally blame their former partner for the end of the marriage
remarriages are significantly more likely to dissolve than first marriages
-people who have divorced bring to their new marriages the same vulnerabilities that contributed to the problems in their first marriages
-the vulnerability of remarriage is that people who
have already been divorced may be more willing to consider ending the relationship when problems arise
-remarriages may simply be harder to maintain than first marriages, especially when they involve stepchildren
