ch 10: relationships and attraction Flashcards
Study: Harlowe’s Monkeys
this is how the monkey chooses the blanket mother over the wire mother.
he did this because he chose comfort over sustenance
Study: reciprocal liking by curtis and miller
P’s were told they would be liked or disliked.
results: people who thought they were liked behaved in more likeable ways.
- study: shaky bridge
A woman approaches men on either a shaky bridge or a sturdy bridge and asks them to complete a Q&A, she tells them to call her if they have any questions
Results: 12% of men on the sturdy bridge called back, 50% men on the shaky bridge called back
What do these results mean?: since the men on the shaky bridge were already physically aroused from being on the shaky bridge, their heart was racing, it is easier to talk to an attractive woman. Therefore, people may misinterpret the arousal for attraction rather than the fear of walking across the shaky bridge.
study: Labelling theory of passionate lovers
intense physical arousal + situational cues = romantic love
study: relationship closeness induction task (rcit)
Two strangers are given a list of questions
The first 1 min = easy questions (name and age)
The next 3 mins = more personal questions (what are your goals in life)
The next 5 mins = deeper questions (when was the last time you cried?)
Results: after the 9 mins, these questions create a bond between the two people
Study: Slatcher & Pennebaker 2006
one member of a couple wrote down their feelings for 20 mins a day
results: the partner who did the writing were more likely to be with their partner 3 months later
Study: Gupta & Singh
Compared arranged marriages in India vs people who marry for love
People who married for love, romance decreased overtime and it was the opposite for arranged marriages
study: Baumeister & leary
Need to Belong includes meeting two of the following criteria
(humans have the universal need to belong, sociometer theory, need for frequent pleasant interactions with others, interactions with people who care about your wellbeing)
Study: four horsemen of the apocalypse
Predictors of relationship dissatisfaction
1. Criticism
2. Defensiveness
3. Stonewalling (when your partner shuts down and stops answering you- like what you used to do with patrick all the time because you didn’t really care if you lost him and there was nothing i could say or do that would make the argument better so it was just easier to not say anything so he would lowkey shut up)
4. Contempt (belittling, treating partner like shit)
why study relationships?
we need research to understand why we do what we do in order to maintain or get into a relationship
need to belong
- need for frequent, pleasant interactions with at least a few others
- interactions in the context of stable relationships with concern for wellbeing
if the need to belong is really a need what should it have ? (5 things)
- an evolutionary basis (sociometer theory)
- universal
- guides social cognition
- satiable
- severe consequences if unmet
how is the need to belong shown through evolutionary basis AKA sociometer theory
through sadness
Universal
must be the same all over the world
how is the need to belong shown by Guiding Our Social Cognition?
when we are lonely, we are always looking for signs of acceptance
what does Satiable mean in the Need to Belong theory?
- You should be able to satisfy it
- We don’t need a thousand friends to feel like we belong, we just need a few that make us happy
what Severe Consequences can happen if NTB is unmet?
rejection can lead to aggression
