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On The Razzle > Cafe > Flashcards

Cafe Flashcards

1
Q

It’s them!

A

Look about us being married —

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2
Q

That’s never happened to me before at the imperial gardens cafe.

A

Yes, it’s the first time for me, too.

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3
Q

The restaurant is so crowded and I had no idea these Scottish patterns had become so common.

A

I’ve got four schillings left after paying the coachman.

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4
Q

If only my mother could see me now! She never dreamed that one day I’d be consorting with the creme caramel!

A

Have you got any cash?

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5
Q

People of my class don’t carry cash.

A

I only had ten schilling when I set out.

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6
Q

You hoped to acquire a past for 10 schilling!

A

Well I was single then, how was I to know I’d be married by dinner time.

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7
Q

Here we are, I’m hungry.

A

You’re not (to Christopher).

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8
Q

Be mine tonight and I will reveal my true identity and give you half my kingdom.

A

Not hungry.

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9
Q

Has the champagne arrived yet?

A

I dint think e should eat here. It’s entirely too cheap for my taste.

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10
Q

It’s probably out the back.

A

The service here is terrible. Waiter! You see? Let’s move on.

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11
Q

Don’t be ridiculous. Anyway you let the coachman go - I don’t know why you didn’t ask him to wait.

A

I didn’t care for him. He seemed a very disagreeable fellow.

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12
Q

That was because of your tip.

A

I gave him a very good tip. (Sit)

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13
Q

There’s a waiter call him over.

A

(Feebly) waiter… Waiter…

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14
Q

Yessir. Are you ready to order, sir?

A

Ah, waiter — sit down, my dear fellow. You strike me as being a splendid chap. What will you have?

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14
Q

WAITER TWO: Sir?

A

WEINBERL: Why should we accept the places allotted to us by an economic order that sets one man above another? I’ve been giving this matter a great deal of thought lately, and it seems to me that, in a nutshell, the value of labour capital –

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15
Q

MRS FISCHER: What are you babbling about?

A

WEINBERL: You may call it babble but one day, given its chance, Weinberlism will give birth to a new order. History is waiting.

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16
Q

MRS FISCHER: We are all waiting.

WAITER TWO: I wouldn’t have the special – it’s herring in oatmeal.

A

WEINBERL: Society’s accounts will be settled once and for all, and when the bill comes, waiter, I want you to think of me as a comrade.

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17
Q

WAITER TWO: Yes, sir. And I wouldn’t have the neeps either, if I were you.

A

WEINBERL: What are the neeps?

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18
Q

WAITER TWO I wouldn’t know, sir. That’s why I wouldn’t have them.
MRS FISCHER: Well, we’d like a drink to begin with.

A

WEINBERL: All right – bring us three beers and an extra glass.

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19
Q

MRS FISCHER: Such a sense of humour. He knows I never drink beer.

A

WEINBERL: Two beers and a glass of water.

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20
Q

MRS FISCHER: I must have something hot.

A

WEINBERL: Hot water.

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21
Q

MRS FISCHER: I mean something hot to eat.

A

WEINBERL: Two beers and a radish.

22
Q

MME KNORR: You’re right – he’s hilarious.

MRS FISCHER: This has gone quite far enough.

A

WEINBERL: All right! Bring us two beers, two glasses of the house red and two sausages for the ladies.

23
Q

MRS FISCHER: The house red?

A

WEINBERL: The wurst is yet to come.

24
Q

CHRISTOPHER: We’ll drink champagne to start, champagne with the main course and with the dessert we’ll have some –

A

WEINBERL: (Alarmed) Champagne?

25
Q

WAITER TWO: An excellent choice, sir. And if I may say so, it is a pleasure to serve a gentleman. (He glances meaningfully at WEINBERL and departs.)

A

WEINBERL: It’s people like him who are going to put a spoke into Weinberlist Theory. (To CHRISTOPHER.) Nevertheless the bill will come.

26
Q

CHRISTOPHER: People of my class don’t pay the bill.

A

WEINBERL: I mean –

27
Q

CHRISTOPHER: (Very deliberately) I know what you mean. I am not entirely stupid. Society will pay. Our society. Do you follow me?

A

WEINBERL: Not exactly …

28
Q

CHRISTOPHER: (Expansively) It’s a damnable thing Herr Fischer, but when the reckoning comes the clever people are nowhere ‘to be found. They’ve gorn … you see … disappeared … leaving the bill to be paid by the bourgeoisie … the shopkeepers … the widows … and such like, get me?

A

WEINBERL: (At last) Got you!

29
Q

MRS FISCHER: Oh, do stop talking politics, we came here for a celebration dinner.

A

WEINBERL’s manner has changed dramatically.)

WEINBERL: My dear wife, why didn’t you say you were hungry! We’ll have a lobster each.

30
Q

MME KNORR: Oh, it’s true love.

A

WEINBERL: My Empress!

31
Q

MRS FISCHER: (Drily to MADAME KNORR) We’re both Empresses now my dear!

A

WEINBERL: I will give you half my kingdom, too!

32
Q

MRS FISCHER: Hungary?

A

WEINBERL: Starving!
(To WAITER TWO who has reappeared with the ZANGLER dinner trolley.)
Ah, there you are at last – capital! – look sharp if you value your job, there’s plenty of others’ll do it for the money.

33
Q

MELCHIOR: My employer wishes to eat alone.

A

WEINBERL: Your employer seems to be confused about the nature of this establishment. It’s what we call a restaurant.

34
Q

MELCHIOR: Why don’t you have your dinner somewhere else?

A

WEINBERL: Why don’t you take yourself off before you get a lobster down your britches.

35
Q

MELCHIOR: Please! My master wishes to have a clear view of that hansom cabman while he’s eating.

A

WEINBERL: Your master’s taste in cabmen is something we prefer not to discuss.

36
Q

CHRISTOPHER: Wait a minute! We can’t be shown up like this in front of your wife and her friend.

A

WEINBERL: We don’t intend to eat our dinner screened off from public view like a lot of –

37
Q

CHRISTOPHER: Journalists –

A

WEINBERL: – So unless you want your Chinese screen folded round your ears –

38
Q

MELCHIOR: I warn you, my master will not be put out for the likes of you.

A

WEINBERL: You may tell your master that if he has a bone to pick with me I don’t wish to see his dog.

39
Q

MELCHIOR: You can tell him yourself. I can hear him coming.

A

WEINBERL:
CHRISTOPHER: Screen

40
Q

CHRISTOPHER: (Quietly) Oh yes. (To WEINBERL.) All the luck in the world.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeakily) Thank you.

41
Q

CHRISTOPHER: Chink glasses.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeakily) Are they? They must go with the screen.

42
Q

MRS FISCHER: Why are you speaking like that?

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) Like what?

43
Q

MRS FISCHER: You’re speaking in a peculiar way.

A

WEINBERL: (To CHRISTOPHER) Am I?

44
Q

MME KNORR: I’m not shouting, I’m speaking normally.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) Not so loud.

45
Q

CHRISTOPHER: (Quietly to WEINBERL) Breast or leg?

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) I’ll take wing – have you got it?

46
Q

CHRISTOPHER (Quietly) Got it. (To MADAME KNORR.) The bottle’s empty. I’ll get a waiter.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) I’ll get one too.

47
Q

MRS FISCHER: We don’t need two waiters.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) All right, I’ll help him get the first one.

48
Q

MME KNORR: Oh, look – I’ve got the wish-bone!

A

WEINBERL: Have you?

49
Q

MME KNORR: Come on, Hildegarde –
(MADAME KNORR and MRS FISCHER pull the wish-bone.)
Ah, well done! You’ve got the main part.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks to MADAME KNORR) That means it’s your wish.

50
Q

MME KNORR: No – it’s your wife’s wish.

A

WEINBERL: (Squeaks) That’s not how we play it.

51
Q

MRS FISCHER: I’m beginning to regret that I ever married you.

A

WEINBERL: You’d better both have a wish.

52
Q

MME KNORR: Oh – all right –

A

WEINBERL: Close your eyes, count to twenty and don’t tell me what you wish.

On The Razzle (7 decks)

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