Attraction, Intimacy, and relationships

Question 1

the importance of intimate relationships (6)

Answer 1

positive health outcomes

social support

goal pursuit

self-expansion

Michelangelo effect

Capitalization

Question 2

Michelangelo effect

Answer 2

defines the dynamics by which couples ‘sculpt’ each other based on positive reinforcement

if you know that your partner is confident and optimistic, you’ll try not to let them become discouraged

Question 3

factors that influence our choice of close friends and partners

Answer 3

proximity

physical attractiveness

perceived similarity

Question 4

proximity

Answer 4

physical distance between two persons

Question 5

proximity effect

Answer 5

the closer someone is, the more likely we are to start a relationship with them

Question 6

proximity - functional distance

Answer 6

the closeness between places in terms of interaction opportunities

ex: friendship formation in apartments
– 65% of people said closest friend was in the building

Question 7

what causes the proximity effect?

Answer 7

higher probability of meeting people who are close in physical distance

anticipating interacting with someone boosts liking for them

• familiarity causes the proximity effect

Question 8

what else causes the proximity effect?

Answer 8

Mere exposure effect: tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after being repeatedly exposed to a person

Question 9

physical attractiveness

Answer 9

physically attractive people are more likely to marry or re-marry, achieve good grades, attain prestigious occupations, get lighter sentences for crimes

Question 10

the halo effect

Answer 10

the belief that physically attractive people have a wide range of positive characteristics

effects of plastic surgery: more kinds, sensitive, sexually warm and responsive, likeable

MBA graduate study: attractiveness influences salary
– men +2,600$
– women +2,150$

Question 11

is the halo effect true?

Answer 11

no - attractive people are not more intelligent, dominant, happy, or mentally healthy

yes - attractive people are more comfortable and competent in social settings
* attractive people are more socially skilled

Question 12

what influences physical attractiveness?

Answer 12

facial symmetry

facial averageness

Question 13

facial symmetry

Answer 13

degree to which one side of the face is similar to the other

– increases attractiveness in all cultures

Question 14

averageness effect

Answer 14

the physical beauty that results from averaging the facial features of people of the same gender and approximately the same age

• not ordinary or basic, it is actually the average of mathematical means
• if you take two photos and merge them together, the resulting photo is more attractive than the original two separately
• evolutionary based - more extreme facial forms are more likely to result in genetic mutation
  –average faces mean better genes

Question 15

familiarity effect

Answer 15

we tend to like stimuli more when it is familiar

Question 16

perceived similarity

Answer 16

similarity increases attraction

• personality
• demographics
• looks

similar people more likely to be friends or in a relationship
* introverts attract introverts
* shared backgrounds results in longer relationships
* people are more attracted to people who look like them

Question 17

matching hypothesis

Answer 17

• similarity in attractiveness hypothesis

the tendency to choose as partners those who are a match in attractiveness

you choose people that we think are the same level of attractiveness as you

Question 18

matching hypothesis results

Answer 18

among casual daters, those who broke up had a bigger gap in attractiveness (same for serious daters)

for married couples there is no difference
– same gap in attractiveness between those that broke up and those who stayed together
– those with big gaps probably already broke up before marriage

Question 19

what determines the kind of relationship we have?

Answer 19

attachment style

Question 20

attachment style

Answer 20

primates are more attached to warm mothers

first relationship with mother or primary caregiver sets template for other relationships that child will have

Question 21

strange situation

Answer 21

infants behaviour to caregiver determines their attachment style

people develop models of close relationships that they carry with them

develop either secure, avoidant, or anxious/ambivalent attachment

Question 22

secure attachment

Answer 22

reliable caregiver (good, dependent bond)

– child is happy and engage with stranger, upset with caregiver leave, happy and calm down when caregiver gets back

Question 23

avoidant attachment

Answer 23

avoid caregiver, no emotion when they leave or return, no exploring

– learn not the be dependent on the availability of the caregiver
** result on unavailable caretakers
** (Baby is independent and apathetic)

Question 24

anxious/ambivalent attachment

Answer 24

undependable, unpredictable caretaker

when caregiver leaves, child will be highly distressed and ambivalent when they return

– happy that they came back but angry that they left them at the same time

caregiver sometimes loving sometimes not, sometimes cold and detached

Question 25

anxiety and avoidance

Answer 25

anxiety: the extent to which a person worries about being abandoned or rejected by others

avoidance: the extent to which a person feels discomfort with closeness and emotional intimacy in relationships

child attachment translates into adult attachment styles

Question 26

secure

Answer 26

low in avoidance and anxiety

– trust others
–can handle threats
–find it easy to get close to others
–don’t fret about being too dependent or being abandoned
– satisfying and enduring relationships
– enjoy sexuality

Question 27

high anxiety

Answer 27

over dependence on partner for comfort or support

jumping into relationships quickly

– hyper activating strategies
– behaviours of high anxiety individuals may bring about the rejection that they fear
– less trusting
– possessive and jealous
– may break up repeatedly with the same person
– gets emotional when discussing conflicts

Question 28

high avoidance

Answer 28

strive to maintain distance, control, and self reliance in relationships

try to avoid relationships: prioritize self reliance in relationships, wanting to not be dependent on another person

– deactivating strategies
– self-handicapping
– low intimacy in relationships
– tend to be less invested and more likely to leave
– also more likely to have one night stands without love

Question 29

what determines whether people stay together or break up?

Answer 29

• social exchange theory
• the investment model

Question 30

social exchange theory

Answer 30

people make decisions about their relationships by weighing rewards and costs

staying together depends on
* satisfaction (how happy are they in the relationship)
* presence of attractive alternatives (can you do better?)

these two factors can be crossed so that relationships can fit into 1 of 4 quadrants

Question 31

should I stay or should I go quadrants

Answer 31

satisfied x I can do better
– happy but unstable, will probably leave

satisfied x I can’t do better
– happy and stable

not satisfied x I can do better
– very likely to end relationship

not satisfied x I can’t do better
– stay in an unhappy relationship

• doesn’t take into account commitment and obligation to continue relationship

Question 32

winter break effect

Answer 32

biggest predictor is what time of year it is for undergraduate students

• very few relationships survive the winter break because of drop in satisfaction and increase in alternative options

Question 33

investment model (based on exchange theory)

Answer 33

satisfaction and commitment

Question 34

satisfaction determined by

Answer 34

rewards and costs

• if rewards outweigh costs

Question 35

commitment is determined by

Answer 35

satisfaction, alternatives, and investments

investments: if you share a house, and friends
** investments make it more difficult to leave somebody

Question 36

investment model

Answer 36

satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size leads to commitment and decisions on whether they will stay or leave

investments can cause you to stay in an unhappy relationship

satisfactions stays and goes based on circumstances
* investments can cause somebody to stay during a temporary conflict