Attraction and Intimacy Flashcards
What Attracts Two People to One Another and Why?
Attraction and intimacy are fundamental aspects of human relationships. Several factors influence how and why individuals are drawn to each other.
Three Key Factors of Attraction:
Proximity
Physical Attractiveness
Similarity
Studies on Proximity:
A study involving 270 MIT students assigned to apartments within a 17-building housing complex found that 65% of friends mentioned were from the same building.
Among students living on the same floor, proximity significantly influenced friendships.
A separate study showed that students who were randomly assigned seats in their first class meeting were more likely to develop friendships with those seated near them over a year later.
Why Does Proximity Breed Attraction?
Interaction: More opportunities to discover commonalities and exchange rewards.
Anticipation of Interaction: Expecting to meet or date someone increases liking.
Mere Exposure: Repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases liking.
Example: In a study, four equally attractive women attended a large lecture class varying numbers of times without interacting. At the end of the term, students rated the women they saw more frequently as more attractive.
Infants (Langlois et al., 1995)
More attractive babies received more affection and attention from mothers.
Preschoolers (Dion & Berscheid, 1974)
More attractive children were more popular among peers.
Adults
Attractiveness influences dating success and income levels.
Impact of Physical Attractiveness
Eastwick & Finkel (2008):
Men prioritize physical attractiveness.
Women prioritize earning prospects.
However, in real-world dating scenarios, physical attractiveness played an equally significant role for both genders.
What is Considered Attractive?
Average” Faces: Composite faces created from merging multiple individuals are rated as more attractive.
Facial Symmetry: A sign of genetic health and attractiveness.
Color Red: Studies suggest men perceive women wearing red as more attractive.
The “What is Beautiful is Good” Stereotype
Attractive people are often judged as more sensitive, kind, sociable, and poised.
Self-fulfilling prophecy: Attractive individuals may develop higher self-confidence due to social advantages.
Cultural variations exist in beauty standards and the associated stereotypes.
Beauty and Matching
The Matching Phenomenon
People seek the most attractive partner they can obtain but often settle with someone of similar attractiveness.
White (1980): Couples who were better matched in attractiveness had more stable relationships.
Mismatches can lead to:
- More attractive partners feeling “entitled.”
- Less attractive partners feeling “owing” or insecure.
- Potential for “poaching” in relationships.
Similarity
Friends, couples, and spouses share common attitudes, beliefs, and values more often than randomly paired individuals.
Higher similarity predicts greater relationship satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
Laws of Attraction
Reward Theory of Attraction: We are drawn to people who provide rewards.
- proximity: Easier and less effortful friendships.
Physical Attractiveness: We associate attractiveness with desirable traits.
- Similarity: Validates our beliefs and views.
Attachment Style
2018: 50-60% secure, 20% anxious, 25% avoidant.
2011 study: 41% secure, 58% insecure.
Romantic Attachment
Securely attached individuals tend to have better relationships.
- More satisfied, committed, trusting, and intimate.
- Less conflict, jealousy, and negative emotions.
Anxiously attached individuals:
- More jealous and clingy.
- Struggle during conflict.
Avoidantly attached individuals:
- Apathetic and disengaged in conflict.
Conflict and Attachment Style
Anxiously Attached: More stress, anxiety, and anger. More likely to recall and bring up past grievances.
Avoidantly Attached: Less warm and supportive.
Secure partners can help insecure individuals become more secure.
Infidelity and Attachment
- Avoidantly attached individuals are more likely to cheat.
- Secure partners can mitigate insecurity and promote stable relationships.
Self-Disclosure and Intimacy
Essential for building close relationships.
The “Fast Friends” procedure increases closeness by encouraging gradual, reciprocal self-disclosure.
Conclusion
Attraction and intimacy are influenced by proximity, physical attractiveness, and similarity. Secure attachment styles foster healthier relationships, while factors like self-disclosure and cultural norms shape how relationships develop. Understanding these dynamics can improve our approach to forming and maintaining meaningful relationships.
