Attraction Flashcards
FACTORS THAT INCREASE LIKING:
Proximity
The more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends.
People who live close by are accessible so interacting with them requires little effort and the rewards of doing so have little cost
To test this theory, researchers studied student relationships in dorm settings. They found students were much more likely to be friends with those living in the same building and even on the same floor
FACTORS THAT INCREASE LIKING:
Familiarity
The more familiar something is the more we tend to like it. When something is familiar but different it can give a feeling of unease.
This is explained in terms of the mere exposure effect.
this is where repeated exposure to an object or person results in greater attraction
FACTORS THAT INCREASE LIKING:
Personal characteristics… self-disclosure + and personality variable
Self-disclosure: sharing intimate information leads to more liking. According to the social penetration model people share more with people they like and trust and prefer people who share more about thoughts and feelings.
Personality variables associated with attractiveness include perception of warmth, kindness, reciprocal liking & trust
FACTORS THAT INCREASE LIKING:
-Attitude similarity
- What are some random things that increase liking?
Similarity of attitudes determines how that relationship progresses.
The law of attraction suggests that the more similar people are the more you will like them
People who are evenly matched in their physical appearance, social background and personality, sociability and interests and leisure activities are more likely to be attracted to one another
(a) a random experimental code number (such as a PIN) resembling their own birth date
(b) a surname containing letters from their own surname
(c) a number on a sports jersey that had been paired subliminally, on a computer screen, with their own name.
EVOLUTION OF ATTRACTION
The role of genes
-Women
-Men
According to the evolutionary concept of reproductive fitness, people guess whether a prospective mate has good genes, using cues such as physical health, youthful appearance, and body and facial symmetry.
Female view of males – attractiveness may differ according to relational preferences and interest in short term (good offspring) or longer term relationships (good parent).
Male view of females – attractiveness may differ by colour (red) and waist to hip ratio which signifies youthfulness, good health and fertility (culturally influenced).
what three ideal partner dimensions appear to guide preferences:
Warmth and trustworthiness (showing care and intimacy)
Vitality and attractiveness (signs of health and reproductive fitness)
Status and resources (being socially prominent and financially sound)
What qualities mark physical attractiveness?
Averageness, rather than distinctiveness, is correlated with facial attractiveness.
May be due to familiarity or that averageness and symmetry are signals of good health and genes.
What is social exchange theory?
-Suggests that social interactions can be studied in terms of payoffs, costs and rewards.
-A cost-reward ratio suggests liking for another person is determined by weighing up the pros and cons of the relationship. These can be anything like time, money, self- esteem, values or independence.
-People appear happiest in relationships when they believe they put in as much as they get out.
What is affiliation and how does it effect us?
As human we have a strong need to affiliate and make connections and contact with others.
Studies show that long-term separation from others can have negative psychological, emotional and social outcomes.
Young children who are deprived for a long period of touching and human contact with others, especially adults, may suffer irreversible psychological damage.
Social psychology of lockdowns?
Reduces opportunity for social comparison where we seek the opinion of others on how to act or think – increases anxiety.
Impacts on basic need to affiliate through forming connections with other people. Can increase isolation and social deprivation.
Increased mental illness and isolation among those with pre-existing condition
More stress and conflict in relationships and this was experienced more strongly by women
Good relationships were protective. Bad relationships were a risk factor for mental health concerns
What are attachment styles?
life-long patterns in how we make connections with other people and our style of connection is quite similar across different people.
Adult relationships comes from somewhere and that this is likely a reflection of our childhood attachment to care givers
Secure, anxious and avoidant attachment styles?
Secure =
trusting others,
not afraid of being abandoned,
worthy of being liked,
comfortable being dependant / dependable
Anxious =
other won’t reciprocate desire for intimacy,
fear of abandonment,
desire to merge.
Avoidant =
suppression of attachment needs, uncomfortable when close to others, difficulty trusting.
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love?
Passion: roughly equivalent to sexual attraction that is mostly an emotional state characterized by high bodily arousal such as increased heart rate and blood pressure
Intimacy: feelings of warmth, closeness, sharing and mutual understanding and concern for each other’s welfare and happiness. There is also an emphasis on communication about lives, feelings and problems
Commitment: resolve to maintain the relationship even in moments of crisis. Commitment is a conscious decision that remains even when emotions come and go.
Consummate love: all three of the above
What are Gottman’s skills for building trust?
“ATTUNE”
-Awareness of emotions
-Tuning to emotion
-Tolerance of viewpoints
-Understanding partner
-Non-defensive
-Empathetic
Elaborate on the 4 factors help sustain relationships?
-Social support networks
-Maximising benefits
-Minimising costs
-Communal behaviour
Social support networks. Satisfaction is greater where there is an overlap between both partners support networks. Part of the reason is increased well-being associated with affiliation.
Maximize benefits of the relationship. They can be intentional (e.g. ‘My partner complimented me on my choice of clothing’), or unintentional (e.g. ‘I like being in public with my partner because they are attractive’).
Minimize costs of the relationship. They can be intentional (e.g. ‘My partner corrected my grammar in front of other people’), or unintentional (e.g. ‘My partner kept me awake at night by snoring’).
Communal behavior helps. Sometimes it can be a benefit to one partner but a cost to the other (e.g. ‘I listened carefully to something my partner wanted to talk about even though I had no interest in the issue’)
