Ask Better Questions - Build Better Relationships

Question 1

Closed Questions - Definition

Answer 1

Is a question that you can answer “yes” or “no” to and grammatically is a correct answer. e.g: Are you feeling good?

Question 2

Open Questions - Definition

Answer 2

Is a type of question that has a tendency to open up a conversation. e.g: What do you think about the progress we’ve made so far?

Question 3

Open Questions - Start words

Answer 3

Typically starts with “When”, “Where”, “Who”, “How”, “What”. e.g: When do you think we are going to finish this task?

Question 4

Open Questions - Benefits

Answer 4

• Encourages people to give us the information we can use to make our judgments
• Create a much better opportunity to understand the other person

Question 5

Pause - Benefits

Answer 5

• It gets people time to think
• It encourages people to go further
• It discourages you (questioner) from interrupting
• It gives you (questioner) time to focus your attention on listening

Question 6

Pause - When to pause?

Answer 6

• After questioning people

- Just after people answer your previous question

Question 7

Pause - Why use it?

Answer 7

It’s an important tool to help you connect and understand people. And for them to feel that you really care and are listening

Question 8

Specific Questions - When using it?

Answer 8

Use it when you want a specif and factual answer

Question 9

Specific Questions - The problem when using too much

Answer 9

You can inadvertently close the conversation down again.

Question 10

Leading Questions - How it works?

Answer 10

It gives people a very strong indication of where we want them to go. We are not trying to find out and understand their view on the situation. So they are used to control and influence in a slightly more manipulative way.

Question 11

Clarification Questions - When using it?

Answer 11

When we’re seeking to understand people this type of question helps us to dig deeper, delve further into the subject and seek to understand more. e.g: What do you think?

Question 12

Clarification Questions - Examples

Answer 12

• What do you think?
• Tell me more about this
• In what way?
• What makes you think that?
• What makes that interesting for you?

Question 13

Clarification Questions - The shorter the better

Answer 13

The shorter the question the better, because you are not leading or giving a clue of what you’re looking for.

Question 14

Reflective Questions - Definition

Answer 14

So it’s a form of probing, but you do it by taking a word or a phrase that somebody has used and sending it back either explicitly in the form of a question, or purely by the intonation in your voice

Question 15

Reflective Questions - Benefits

Answer 15

It encourages people to dig deeper and give more information

Question 16

“Why” Warning - Definition

Answer 16

“Why” focuses more on values, on beliefs, on motivations. And less on actions and behaviour. As a consequence of that, it can feel as though it’s some sort of accusation or finger-pointing.

Question 17

“Why” Warning - Disadvantages

Answer 17

• It tends to elicit justification and defensive behaviour.
• It can trigger stress responses in some cases
• It seems like a sort of accusation or finger-pointing

Question 18

Questions Pipeline

Answer 18

Initial Opening Question&raquo_space; Clarify, Probe, Reflect&raquo_space; Clarify, Specific&raquo_space; Closed
Starts with an Open question and then uses other questions to Clarify or Reflect. Next step to move to a more Specific question and at the end only to close the conversation we use Closed questions

Question 19

Listening - Generalizations

Answer 19

Generalization is a good clue for you to seek a bit more clarification probe a bit deeper. e.g: All people should do this. What should all people do? Why?

Question 20

Listening - Rules or Beliefs - Why is it important?

Answer 20

This is important because it gives a very clear indication of where there may be a difference in a divide.

Question 21

Listening - Rules or Beliefs - Trigger words

Answer 21

You have to … You must to … You should to

Question 22

Listening - Tips - Others person’s point of view

Answer 22

Try to appreciate others person’s point of view. It helps you to on what they are trying to say. And helps you to understand that perspective. You don’t need to agree with that

Question 23

Listening - Tips - Without being in a hurry

Answer 23

Listen without being in a hurry to take over. When somebody stops talking so on about. Stop talking in a moment. Take three beats before you say anything

Question 24

Listening - Tips - Let me sure I understand

Answer 24

It’s important to let people know that you are listening, so playing back what they’ve been saying ideally using their words and descriptors is a good way to let them know.

Question 25

Listening - Tips - Be sensitive to people feelings

Answer 25

30 percent of communication is data facts and information and 70 percent of communication comes down to emotion.

Tuning in to the feelings and emotions of a speaker is a very powerful rapport-building and communication tool.