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Opal's Million Dollar Duck > Act 3 > Flashcards

Act 3 Flashcards

1
Q

D: She’s gone. Didn’t even look back.

A

Some crook you are - stealing a roll of wallpaper instead of that Dutch masterpiece.

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2
Q

D: All right - so it wasn’t the missing “Mallard and Apple.” Everybody makes mistakes. Even Adam and Eve.

A

At least they knew an apple when they saw it.

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3
Q

D: And who was it stuck her hand in a rat trap?

A

Look - let’s not stop to bicker here - we can do that at home. We want to find that damned Vanderdam

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4
Q

D: Then you start upstairs - room by room - and I’ll start in the basement.

A

If you find it - don’t you dare go off and leave me holding the sack.

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5
Q

D: Do you think I’d do that to you?

A

For seventy-five thousand dollars you’d do it to your grandmother.

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6
Q

D: That’s not a basement. It’s the Smithsonian Museum - with dust. Why not? I can use the energy.

A

[tap on shoulder]

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7
Q

D: Don’t DO that! I’ve got a weak bladder.

A

She’s here.

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8
Q

D: Who’s here?

A

Opal. She came back.

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9
Q

D: Where is she?

A

Upstairs. I saw her just in time and hid. Then I waited and came down the stairs.

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10
Q

D: Did she see you?

A

Not unless she’s got eyes in the back of her head - which I doubt.

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11
Q

D: What’ll we do?

A

Hit her over the head with something.

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12
Q

D: What! A teabag?

A

She must have an old tire iron or tennis racket. Look! Isn’t that a baseball bat?

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13
Q

D: I don’t know. I never played.

A

It’s a bat.

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14
Q

D: And she’s a bat. They belong together.

A

Can you do it?

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15
Q

D: For seventy-five thousand I’d play ball with the devil.

A

We’ll hide here and when she passes, crack down.

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16
Q

D: I wish I’d played ball when I was a kid. I wouldn’t be so nervous.

A

Were you too poor?

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17
Q

D: No, I was a sissy.

A

You can’t miss. Her head is bigger than a baseball - and twice as dense.

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18
Q

O: Well, look who’s here. Fer heaven’s sake, I never heard you come in. I mus’ be gittin’ deaf too. Come in - come in. Glad to see you folks. I wuz wonderin’ whin you’d come back.

A

Oh, we - we were out this way and thought we’d drop in.

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19
Q

D: We wanted to explain yesterday. Queenie became suddenly ill and we couldn’t wake you - you were such a convincing Juliet

A

Such reality! Such truth!

20
Q

O: Well it wuz mighty kind of you to leave that note an the ten bucks. Set down an have a piece of cake.

A

Well, we only have a few minutes. Did you say you were just going out?

21
Q

O: Well, not now I got guests. I’ll wait till you folks havta go first.

A

Oh, don’t let us detain you.

22
Q

D: How very kind of you. It hits me - here.

A

What is it?

23
Q

O: It’s somepin’ you ain’t never seen before an’ even when you see it you ain’t gonna believe it.

A

This delay is killing me.

24
Q

O: I hope I ain’t holdin’ you folks up.

A

Oh not at all. We intend to stay with you.

25
Q

D: We’re counting on that.

A

Oh, don’t tell me there’s a box in that box.

26
Q

O: Well, this is it. Here you are!

A

A pin cushion?

27
Q

O: But lookie there. This one’s got a pin in it. One pin.

A

We’ve been help up by a pin.

28
Q

O: Oh, but you never seen a pin like this. You know whats writ on the head of this pin? The Lord’s Prayer. But you gotta have a magnifying glass to read it.

A

How can anyone write the Lord’s Prayer on the head of a pin!

29
Q

O: Lord’s prayer et al…….Ain’t that wonderful? An yore such sech wonderful folks yourselves, I want you to have it as a present. Lemme git you some string to tie the boxes.

A

Why didn’t you hit her?

30
Q

D: While she’s saying the Lord’s Prayer? God would strike me dead

A

Well, if He doesn’t - I will.

31
Q

D: I may be an actor but I’ve got some scruples

A

When we’ve got that seventy-five thousand is plenty of time for scruples.

32
Q

D: Stop getting nervous. You’re making me nervous.

A

Give me the bat - I’ll do it.

33
Q

O: Oh, I see you found that famous bat. Belonged to Joe DiMaggio. You heard of him?

A

Yes. He knew how to hit.

34
Q

O: You play baseball?

A

He just took it up.

35
Q

O: Well in that case, I’ll make you a present of the bat too. You kin practice.

A

He needs it.

36
Q

O: You mean that dead duck?

A

Yes. “Mallard and Apple.”

37
Q

O: Well - you know - it’s a funny thing about that “pitchure” I wuz saving it fer my friend’s birthday but she bust right into tears. Reminded her of a pet duck she once had. You’d a thought I done it on purpose to make her unhappy. Almos’ threw it back in my face.

A

You mean - it’s available?

38
Q

D: Four hundred.
O: No - I ain’t gonna let nobody make no crook outa me.

A

Three hundred

39
Q

O: The good Lord would strike me dead.

A

One hundred

40
Q

D: Seventy five dollars

A

Fifty

41
Q

D: Twenty five and that’s our lowest bid.

A

Fifteen

42
Q

O: You folks don’t understand. When you’re young you got a lot of different passions pulling you this way an that. But as a body gets older an more sensible, all them passions ain’t as strong - except one - greed. Well, since I never had it when I was young - it’s a little late for me to start supportin’ a new vice at my age.

A

But you don’t understand, either. We want to make you happy.

43
Q

O: Well in that case - I ain’t got no choice but to let you have it fer fifteen, though it ain’t worth two

A

You will??

44
Q

O: I give you my word, didn’t I? An I never take a word of mine back unless it’s a swear word.

A

Desmond - give her the fifteen, quick. We’ve got it. We’ve got it. It’s ours!

45
Q

O: I hope you folks realize you’re gettin’ the most expensive duck you’ll ever buy

A

Oh we do…..we do.

46
Q

O: Why that shows in your face, Mister…both of you. But I’ll take the quarter anyhow for luck.

A

I want you to know, you’ve made us very happy thespians, Opal.

47
Q

O: Jes so you never have to eat crow.

A

Au revoir. That’s French for goodbye

Opal's Million Dollar Duck (3 decks)

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