Act 2 Flashcards
D: Miss Kronkie?
Opal? She’s probably upstairs
D: What do you suppose she’s doing?
Peeling lizards.
O: Who?
The thespians.
O: Oh. Well, make yourselves a cup of tea. Sugar’s in a tin can marked moth balls. I’ll be right down. Help yourselves.
Tea! I’d just as soon drink bat milk.
D: Where do you suppose the picture is?
Oh, probably buried in the basement with several corpses.
D: Now don’t be pessimistic, dear. We have a fool proof plan.
At least we’ve got a plan and we’ve certainly got the fool.
D: And it’s going to work.
Do you know how many drops to use? After all - we don’t want to risk killing her. Not for fifty thousand.
D: The reward has been raised to seventy-five.
Oh, well that’s different.
D: And my cousin told me just how many drops will knock her out. Remember - he used to be a bartender.
Q: If it works -we’ll buy him a bloody mary.
D: The hard part will be to convince her that we really want to make an actress of her.
Q: That’s the easiest part. Everybody thinks they can act. Even actresses.
D: Once we’ve tricked her into thinking she could be an actress - we’ll have to act out Juliet’s death scene where she has to take poison. I’ll put some drops in her tea and knock her out while we search for the Van Von Vanderdam
It sounds simple. I only hope she falls for it.
D: Quiet - she’s coming back. Do you think I had on too much makeup last night?
It doesn’t matter, dear, when I’m onstage. Oh Look a dead fox tail.
Opal: Oh well, I wouldn’t let that bother me none. You know how people talk.
Opal, dear - we’re so glad to see you again. You’ve done something to your hair, haven’t you?
O: No, just combed it. How’s your ankle (leg??)
Oh, it only hurts when I walk on it. Look - I’ve brought you some posies.
O: Look like tulips to me.
They are. I hope you like them.
O: Why, they ain’t plastic, neither.
Of course not! We wouldn’t want anything false in our friendship.
O: Trouble, sometimes. Unless they don’t care about it. And they’s very few of them left. Well whadda ya know - a water pitcher for flowers.
It’s a vase for the flowers.
O: Vahz?
When it’s pure crystal -it’s “vahz”
O: Well how about that, pure crystal.
Like you, Opal. Without a flaw.
O: An’ I jes wish I could hug em all
Oh, by the way, Opal, what did you do with that duck picture?
O: Oh, I put it away where I wouldn’t forget it. It ain’t that I forget that’s agravatin’! It’s that I forgit what I forgot.
You know, Opal, we’ve been thinking about you constantly. Someone like you, who’s such a unique character, really belongs in the theater. I’ve never seen a face with so. much. character.
O: Well, whin yore born ugly, character is about all you got goin’ for you. Unless you got money. Want some tea?
Thank you, no. I’ve just had hiccups. One reason we’re back so early is we’ve come up with a brilliant idea for you.
D: So we’ve come up with a plan for you
That may change your whole future, dear.
O: Well, sir, whin poor Mr. Fettucini got to the scene of the accident an’ seen his poor froze wife leanin’ against a tree an’ glarin’ at him - he took it real bad.
We want you to take our offer seriously, dear.
O: Do it every day. You see somebody that’s maybe done you dirt an’ you say “nice to see you” or somebody that said a mean thing about you - you say “have a nice day.” That’s actin -
No, that’s manners. We mean on the stage.
O: You mean a play actor - like you? Fer money?
For your fulfillment.
O: A tree
A tree?
O: Well, I started out as a butterfly but I didn’t flit to suit the teacher so she made me a tree.
I’m sure you gave a good solid performance.
O: Teacher didn’t think so. Whin the good fairy was dying, I had to scratch my nose.
Well, King and I have decided you have all the qualities of a professional.
O: Oh! I wouldn’t be no good as a play actress! I ain’t even a good cook.
We think you’re a wonderful type.
D: Romeo and Juliet. Now isn’t that a coincidence! That’s the very play we’ve brought with us to have you read.
Audition - you know.
O: No, I don’t know. What does that mean
Oh, take a scene at random and read it for us.
O: Out loud?
Just to see if you can project.
O: Project what?
Your voice. We’d like to determine how far you can be heard.
O: Two miles. I won a hog-callin’ contest when I was fifteen. Would that be far enough?
If we played a stadium.
O: Oh, I’d jes be wastin’ your time. Besides, I’m too old.
Was Bernhardt to old - at seventy?
D: With one leg
She’d turn over in her grave to hear you say that.
Opal: Gittin’ their money back
Here, why don’t you just read this part and we’ll prompt you.
O: My sense of humor
Start there.
O: Which one am I? Romeo or Juliet?
Juliet, of course, what else could you play?
O: A tree.
Go ahead. Begin.
D: We’re going to play her a little older.
Start anytime. (opal moves book back and forth) What are you doing?
O: Guess I need my glasses. Ef I hold it too far away all I see is black bugs an’ if I hold it too close, my fingernail looks too big. These ain’t really mine. Minister’s wife died - lovely woman - real gen-u-wine- and the preacher gimme all her glasses. Poor woman had St. Vitus Dance an’ couldn’t keep her teeth in -
Opal, please - we have a matinee.
O: I reckon I can read with these. One glass is missin’. I’ll squint. Poor woman died in an elevator. Tenth floor. Jes’ come back from the dentist.
Please start. We’re waiting.
O: I can see now - ef I don’t wiggle. Do I read all this!
No, we’ll skip down to the speech just before you take the poison, dear. Start here.
O: Do I stand or sit?
Either one.
O: I’ll stan’. I jes’ glued that chair together an’ I don’t think it’s set yit.
Do anything you want, Opal, and when you drink the love potion and start to pass out - we’ll put you on the table. Start
O: Here?
There
O: Oh, look!
Opal - you’re not calling pigs. Modulate.
O: That means softer?
Softer
O: Oh, look. Methinks - Is that right? Me think?
It’s Shakespeare.
O: Sounds weird.
Please go on.
O: Methinks. I see. My cousin’s ghost seeking. Out Romeo. That did split his body upon a - a -
Rapier
O: rapier’s point. Stay Tie-balt
Tybalt
O: Stay Tybalt - stay. Romeo? I come. This do I drink to thee. Thin I drink somethin’?
Yes. Desmond will hand you a love potion that will put you to sleep and you fall on a sarcophagus.
