Act 2, Scene 2 Flashcards
FREDDIE: I just don’t want anything to happen to you.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Think about it. If I’m being targeted for murder, the best thing to do is to leave me alone as bait.
FREDDIE: Are you sure this is going to work?
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: Do you have a better idea?
FREDDIE: The only problem is you WILL be out here ALONE. No one will be here to protect you.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: I can protect myself. When you get into the hallway, make sure everyone knows that you’re going to bed and that I’m in here all by myself.
FREDDIE’S VOICE: (OFFSTAGE. Loud, as if he is making a point to be heard.) Well, good night, dear. I’ll be sleeping in our room if you need me.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: (Loud.) Sweet dreams, sugar bear. (Normal. To herself.) Now, I just need to wait. (Walks to the bookshelf and picks up a book. SOUND EFFECT: THUNDER. Jumps, startled, and then sits in the main seating area.)
JOSIE: (ENTERS UP LEFT.) Hello, Christine. I didn’t realize anyone was still awake.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: Josie, what are you doing out of your room?
JOSIE: I just wanted to stretch my legs.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: Freddie’s going to be awfully upset if he catches you out here.
JOSIE: I’ll take my chances.
Pg. 48
CHRISTINE: (Notices a handle of some sort hanging from JOSIE’S belt in back.) Josie, is that a knife on your belt?
JOSIE: Of course not.
Pg. 48/49
CHRISTINE: (Breathes a sigh of relief.) Oh.
JOSIE: (Pulls out a hatchet.) It’s a hatchet.
Pg. 49
CHRISTINE: Why on earth are you carrying around a hatchet?
JOSIE: (Approaches CHRISTINE.) Why do you think?
Pg. 49
CHRISTINE: Oh, please, don’t hurt me, Josie! Stop! Help!
JOSIE: (Steps closer to CHRISTINE.) Shh! No! I can explain!
Pg. 49
CHRISITNE: (Throws a pillow from the loveseat at JOSIE.) Don’t come near me! Don’t you dare!
JOSIE: Christine! Listen to me!
Pg. 49
CHRISTINE: (Grabs lamp from end table and threatens JOSIE with it.) I won’t listen to anything you say! Now get away from me!
JOSIE: But–
Pg. 49
CHRISTINE: Get away! (Starts to beat JOSIE with the lamp.)
JOSIE: (Approaches CHRISTINE and BEATRICE.) Stop! This is only for protection! You don’t think I would walk around alone without some sort of self-defense, do you? YOU might try to hurt ME.
Pg. 49
CHRISTINE: Oh, that ridiculous! How on earth could I hurt you? (CONNIE and BEATRICE look at the lamp in CHRISTINE’S hands.) Oh. (Sets lamp down.)
NELLIE: What in the world?
Pg. 50
CHRSITINE: Rhonda Mae can’t see what she’s doing.
JOSIE: I think it was all a big misunderstanding. I accidentally frightened Christine, and then Beatrice and Connie came out of the kitchen. And–
Pg. 50
CHRISTINE: And I guess everyone came to see what all the noise was. And it caused a big commotion. And… (Notices COSTUMED GUEST.) Which comic book character are you supposed to be now, Mr. Jacobs?
FREDDIE’S VOICE: (OFF UP LEFT.) Christine, is everything all right out there?
Pg. 50
CHRISTINE: (To EVERYONE.) You all better get back to your rooms. If Freddie sees you out here, he’s going to be really mad.
FREDDIE: Are you alright? I thought for sure with all of that noise I’d come out and see you wrestling with the murderer.
Pg. 51
CHRISTINE: Oh, everything was fine. Connie just had a little accident with a piece of cake, that’s all. I guess we’re no closer to catching the murderer than we were at the start.
FREDDIE: I think we should take our own advice, return to our room and wait until morning. By then, the storm should be over.
Pg. 51
CHRISTINE: I suppose you’re right. We amateurs will never figure out who is murdering the family and writing those creepy poems.
FREDDIE: (As if he has had a stroke of genius.) The poems. That’s it. That’s it! I know who the murderer is!
Pg. 51
CHRISTINE: You do?
FREDDIE: I can’t believe I didn’t realize this sooner.
Pg. 51
CHRISTINE: Who is it?
FREDDIE: …Good! Now, Marty, you play the murderer again, and Minnie will play Christine.
Pg. 53
CHRISTINE: (Quietly, to FREDDIE.) Sweetie pie, there hasn’t–
BEATRICE: If you murder all of us, you’ll be responsible for even more deaths.
MARTY: And who’s going to tell on me?
SUZANNE: He brings up a good point.
Pg. 54
CHRISTINE: Why did you murder Aunt Gretchen?
MARTY: Maybe this will help you. (Grabs towel from CONNIE and wipes off his white face makeup. He crosses to CHRISTINE.) Do you recognize me?
Pg. 54
CHRISTINE: No.
MARTY: That’s exactly the problem. I’m your cousin Marty.
FREDDIE: Another relative?
Pg. 54
CHRISTINE: Cousin Marty. You mean Aunt Henrietta’s son? I didn’t know you were in show business.
MARTY: You didn’t know me at all. Nobody ever took the time to know me.
Pg. 54
CHRISTINE: (To FREDDIE.) Many years ago, back when I was only four or five, Aunt Henrietta had a falling out with her four sisters. No one has spoken to or about Aunt Henrietta or her husband or her son since. (To MARTY.) I haven’t seen you since you were just a little boy. How have you been?
MARTY: Not bad. Yourself?
Pg. 55
CHRISTINE: Fine, thank you.
MARTY: …I decided it was time to get revenge on the very people who made me feel so rotten for all those years.
Pg. 55
CHRISTINE: So it’s true. You were planning to murder me next.
MARTY: Yes. In fact, I’m going to do that right now. (Points gun at CHRISTINE.)
Pg. 55
CHRISTINE: Isn’t there any way we can work this out? Haven’t you heard of the win-win guidelines?
MARTY: it’s too late for that.
Pg. 55
CHRISTINE: Somebody do something.
JOSIE: I can’t believe my life has just been saved by Princess Gracie Gumdrop.
FREDDIE: (To CHRISTINE.) Are you all right?
Pg. 55
CHRISTINE: I’m fine.
RHONDA MAE: We’ll be giving up a fortune, but it’s worth it. (She and CARLA JO EXIT DOWN RIGHT, dragging MARTY. MINNIE and MILLIE mime crying as MARTY is carried out.)
Pg. 56
CHRISTINE: (Looks out the window.) The storm seems to be subsiding.
CONNIE: Can I get anyone else anything?
Pg. 56
CHRISTINE: I think we’ll be fine dear.
LOLA: You know, Mr. Jacobs, I have always found a man in uniform to be quite attractive.
Pg. 57
CHRISTINE: Oh, brother.
LOLA: Maybe I could show you a few stitches.
COSTUMED GUEST: Only if I can show you a few uniforms.
Pg. 57
CHRISTINE: Sounds like a perfect match.
LOLA: How about a little huggsie? (FREDDIE looks at CHRISTINE, pleading.)
Pg. 57
CHRISTINE: Go on.
FREDDIE: Well, this has certainly been an interesting start to our honeymoon.
Pg. 57
CHRISTINE: Yes. Look at the wonderful family you’ve married into. (Kisses FREDDIE.) Well, what’s left of it!
