ACT 1 SCENE 5 Flashcards
LADY BRACKNELL: Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving very well.
I’m feeling very well, Aunt Augusta.
LADY BRACKNELL: That is not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together,
[To Gwendolen]
Dear me, you are smart!
LADY BRACKNELL: I’m sorry if we are a little late, Algernon…
…
Now I’ll have a cup of tea and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.
Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to the coffee table]
LADY BRACKNELL: Won’t you come and sit here, Gwendolen?
GWENDOLEN: Thanks, mamma, I’m quite comfortable where I am.
[Picking up empty plate in horror]
Good heavens! Lane!
Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially!
LANE: There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I went down twice.
No cucumbers?!
LANE: No, sir, not even for ready money.
That will do, Lane, thank you.
LANE: Thank you, sir.
I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money!
LADY BRACKNELL: It really makes no matter, Algernon. I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who, after her poor husband’s death, seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now.
I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.
LADY BRACKNELL: Yes, she looks quite twenty years younger. From what cause I, of course, cannot say.
[Algernon crosses and hands tea.] Thank you.
I’ve quite a treat for you to-night, Algernon. I am going to send you down with Mary Farquhar. She is such a nice woman, and so attentive to her husband. It’s delightful to watch them.
I am afraid, Aunt Augusta, I shall have to give up the pleasure of dining with you tonight after all.
LADY BRACKNELL: [Frowning.] I hope not, Algernon. It would put my table completely out.
Your uncle would have to dine upstairs. Fortunately, he is accustomed to that.
It is a great bore, and, I need hardly say, a terrible disappointment to me…
but the fact is I have just had a telegram that my poor friend Bunbury is very ill again.
[glance at Jack]
They seem to think I should be with him.
LADY BRACKNELL: It is very strange. This Mr. Bunbury seems to suffer from curiously bad health.
Yes, Mr. Bunbury is a dreadful invalid.
LADY BRACKNELL: …ask Mr. Bunbury, from me, to be kind enough to not have a relapse on Saturday, for I rely on you to arrange my music for me.
I’ll speak to Bunbury, Aunt Augusta, if he is still conscious. And I think I can promise you he’ll be alright by Saturday.
Of course, the music is a great difficulty.
But I’ll tun over the programme I’ve drawn out, if you will kindly come into the next room for a moment.
