9. Attraction and relationships Flashcards
What is the propinquity effect?
- The finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends
- It works because of familiarity or the mere exposure effect (the more exposure we have to a stimulus (whether face-to-face or online), the more apt we are to like it)
- Relies on actual physical distance plus functional distance
What is functional distance?
Aspects of architectural design that make it likely some people will come into contact with each other more often than others
Explain similarity
- We are more drawn to people who are like us (similarity) than those who are our opposites (complimentarity)
- Similarity is a strong predictor of attraction in both friendships and romantic relationships (especially in attitudes and values and in individualist cultures)
Why is similarity important to attraction?
- We expect those similar to us will like us
- Those similar to us provide social validation of our beliefs - reinforces our schemas, makes the world predictable
- We expect it would be enjoyable to spend time with like individuals
Explain perceived sense of similarity and attraction
- Attraction can lead to a perceived sense of similarity
- Married couples who were studied showed that they overestimated their levels of similarity
- Perceived similarity is a good predictor for long, committed relationships
What is reciprocal liking?
- Liking someone who likes us in return
- One of the prime determinants of interpersonal attraction
- Will only have an influence if you like yourself in the first place
Explain physical attractiveness
- Physical attractiveness strongly influences liking
- We may not rate attractiveness as the number one criterion, but our behavior indicates that it is
- We’re aware of the value we place on looks, but as long as we can get away with it, we won’t admit it
- Preference for large eyes, prominent cheekbones, big smile
Explain the cultural standards of physical attractiveness
- Considerable agreement across cultures on what constitutes a physically attractive face
- Perception of symmetry is correlated to attractiveness - may have developed through evolution
What are some assumptions made from attractiveness?
- Halo effect: it is assumed that attractive people have desirable qualities -> they often get preferential treatment
– The “what is beautiful is good” sterotype occurs cross-culturally, but seems to be limited to judgements of social competency - Horn effect: perceibing an unattractive quality in a person can lead us to believe that they possess multiple undesirable characteristics
Explain the relationship between attraction and arousal
- People may mistakenly infer the cause of their physiological arousal is attraction
- Ex: men on suspension bridge vs on short sturdy bridge
Explain the role of online connections in making friendships
- Social media is playing a major role in shaping the landscape of friendships, for both the introverted and the extroverted
- People are more likely to disclose personal information online
- Although online and offline relationships can be beneficial, people have a preference for “real world” friendships
Explain the role of online connections in the formation of romantic relationships
- People often disclose personal information more quickly online rather than face to face
- Although there are more potential romantic partners online, the success rate of online dates is no higher than that of more traditional methods
What is the parasocial interaction theory?
- Parasocial relationships through parasocial interactions are illusionary relationships with characters or people portrayed in the media
- Influential through middle childhood and adolescence - can be important for attachment developmet and identity formation
- Increased through the development of social media
- Can be complementary with real-life relationships, but extreme parasociality can be dangerous for self-esteem and well-being since interactions are limited or are not real
What is Sternberg’s theory of love?
3 components:
- Intimacy (promotes closeness and connectedness; emotional aspect)
- Passion (intense longing for union; physical drive)
- Commitment (the conscious aspect of love; decisions you make for that person)
Companionate love (commitment + intimacy), liking (intimacy), romantic love (passion + intimacy), infatuation (passion), fatuous love (commitment + passions), empty love (commitment), consummate love (all 3)
Explain love and culture
- While love is universal, there are cultural differences in definition, value, and experience of love
- Collectivist cultures: more likely to value and identify with commitment and intimacy over passion
Why do we love?
Evolutionary explanations
- Human behavior, and thus love, has evolved in specific ways to maximize reproductive success
- Because the reproductive costs are greater for women, the strategies they use will differ from that used by men when looking for a mate
Self-expansion theory
- Humans have a tendency to expand their social circles to maximize their resources
- Supports the idea that we are internally driven to seek positive affirmation to enhance our own sense of selves through the creation and maintenance of close relationships
- Over time, the “other” is considered a part of the self, as resources and identities are shared between couples or group members
What’s the difference between attachment theory and attachment styles?
- Attachment theory: suggests that our behavior in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents or caregivers
- Attachment styles: expectations people develop about relationships, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants
Explain adult attachment styles (Hazan and Shaver model)
- Secure attachment: typically comfortable in their relationships and find no issues with commitment and trust with their partner(s); positive view of oneself + positive view of other person
- Anxious-preoccupied/Ambivalent attachment: exhibit some forms of seperation anxiety and can exhibit low self-esteem. Can become over-dependent on their partner(s) or also push them away because of their own insecurities; negative view of oneself + positive view of other person
- DIsmissive/Avoidant attachment: can be guarded when it comes to intimacy. They exhibit a lack of trust towards potential partner(s) or also show no interest in forming close relationships; positive view of self + negative view of other person
- Fearful/avoidant attachment: typically demonstrated inconsistent and fluctuating feelings about intimacy. They might desire close intimate relationships, but may also become avoidant with their partners; negative view of oneself + negative view of other person
Explain the relationship between attachment styles and intimate relationships
- Attachment style affects relationships satisfaction, commitment, and trust; avoidant and anxious attachment show deficits in these factors
- Coping with relationship conflict differs according to attachment styles; securely attached individuals use more effective strategies
- People may have different attachment styles in different relationships
- General attachment is distinct from relationship-specific attachment, but over time the 2 will likely align; if you’re generally secure, your attachment in specific relationships will tend to become secure
- All we need is 1 secure attachment for us to change towards a secure attachment style
What is social exchange theory?
How people feel about their relationships depends on:
- their perception of the rewards and costs of the relationship
- the kind of relationship they deserve
- their chances of having a better relationship with someone else
What is the reward/cost ratio in social exchange theory?
Notion that there’s a balance between:
- the rewards that come from a relationship
- the personal cost of maintaining the relationship
