8 a Flashcards
best predictors of who people form relationships with:
- proximity and similarity
- someone who you see often is more likely
- also if you have similarities that is great (not opposites attract haha)
- two people of the same level of physical attractiveness are the people that work best together according to research
The genetic basis for love: need for affilliation
- all humans have a basic need for social relationships (affiliation)
- it is necessary for life (attracting a mate)
- isolation put you at risk from the start cause if you were alone you could be eaten
Types of love: passionate “romantic” love
intensely emotional and sexual attraction
- feelings are extreme
- fall for them rapidly
- hard to think of anything else
Types of love: companionate love
- strong affection and trust
- w\out burning affection and desire
- not so lusty or all consuming
Sternberg’s Triangular theory: three components
-passion (desire, obsession)
-intimacy(trust)
-commitment (loyalty)
his goal was to to help others categorize the relationships that they have with other people (there are people that are high in one point but not in the other)
attachment styles
- people all have different attachment styles
- it is how they behave in relationships
Secure attachment style
- not prone to jealousy
- happy to have their own lives
- willing to accept partner’s independant pursuits of interests and relationships
anxious-ambivalent attachment style
- desires closeness
- anxious about the threat of abandonment or rejection
- leads to jealousy or smothering
- can lead to a person avoiding potential partners for fear of losing them
- clingy one moment but rejecting the next so that they dont get rejected
aviodant attachment style
- distrusts other partners
- avoid intimacy at all costs
- these people are affraid when people get too close at a deep level
- they wont spend too much time with one person
- lots of short term passionate relationships
what causes attachment styles? (parents)
-secure attachment ( warm close relationships with parents)
-anxious-ambivalent attachment (a mix of harshly punitive and kind)
-avoidant attachment ( Punitive and cruel)
should we blame parents? well people may be misremembering how their parents treated them (could be trying to explain their failures now) but it could be true too
love and gender differences
the similarities are more similar than different however:
- women express more in words
- men express more in actions
do we always show that need for affiliation?
no, sometimes we act in violence including the two nuns from the Benedictine convent that betrayed 7000 tutsis to the hutus.
“the Fallacy”
belief that someone who does an evil deed is evil or monster, all humans can do something evil, lots of time its because of extraordinary situations
-what we do in the situations may surprise us
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how to explain tragedies: the situation strongly influences behaviour
- environment really influences it
- what are the social norms
- you do different things in different environments (theatre, club, class)
- when you violate the norms in different places there are consequences
e. g. if you dance in class you will get looked at - social norms are very strong constraints cause we dont want to be left out
how to explain tragedies: your position in society
-you will act in ways that are consistent with your social role
-there is a price to pay if you dont
e.g. if it is a gender role and you are a woman that doesnt send out thankyou cards, you will be blamed as opposed to your hubby
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