Zen of Cool - Ghost Flashcards
The Yin is like being a ghost who is unaffected by anything thrown its way. Nothing can touch you or shake your emotions. The Yin is the way that you are not affected by other people. It is the way that you do not add overly intense feelings to the vibe. You must practice the Yin at all times. Also, whatever intense feelings may be in the air, positive or negative, you do not react overly to them. Though you are socially intuitive to the vibe, and you are perfectly aware of whatever is
I am un-reactive to, and unaffected by, external frames and vibes, though not in an unfriendly way. I come across as solid. I have the same relaxed and comfortable attitudes and movements that I would have if I were in my own house vibing with a few of my close friends.
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I don’t have an agenda. When I interact with people, I don’t need, or try to force, any specific outcome. Good things happen to me all the time anyway.
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I am carefree and drama-free. Nothing is ever that big of a deal to me. Whatever happens, my first response is usually “No Big Deal.”
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I’m not trying to impress. I’m not trying to get something. I’m not trying at all. I don’t have to try. In fact, I’m not even in that headspace. I am in my own headspace instead of having it dictated to me by others.
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I’m not trying to impress. I’m not trying to get something. I’m not trying at all. I don’t have to try. In fact, I’m not even in that headspace. I am in my own headspace instead of having it dictated to me by others.
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I’m not needy or clingy, nor do I hover. Women don’t complain about hovering with me, instead they complain about me rolling off.
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I don’t stare. I know that overly demonstrating interest is not attractive or romantic, but instead comes across as weird, creepy, or even scary.
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I am perfectly occupied in my own reality. I find stimulation and value in my own reality, instead of seeking value and stimulation from others in the venue.
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I feel a total willingness to walk away. It’s not that I am trying to punish but rather as if I have my own priorities. I have a lot of options. Sometimes I get distracted, but I’m never trying to be rude.
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I don’t explain myself or argue over things–it just doesn’t matter enough to me.
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I’m not even in need of the understanding of others. Though it never comes across in a rude way, it’s just not important enough to me even to finish my own sentence.
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I have no need for validation, or acceptance, or approval. Paradoxically, such feelings are more and more my normal experience.
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As an example of my level of confidence and comfort, I’m perfectly willing to “throw someone a bone” socially, such as apologizing even when I’m really not in the wrong, just to keep things running smoothly and to keep the moral high ground. This apology wouldn’t come off in any way as though I were actually at fault, but rather it would come across as though the whole thing is just not that big a deal to me. It also doesn’t come off as insulting. The vibe is genuine and not in any way passive-aggressive. I do this to give people the escape route of plausible deniability so that they can always save face and still be cool with me.
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I am unconditional and non-judgmental. It’s as if I am holding standards for myself instead of holding them against other people. Of course I must prioritize my time but I do it with a positive attitude, and never in a way that would make people feel unaccepted or scorned.
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I’m not sarcastic or passive-aggressive. Sarcasm is sneering, jesting, or mocking at a person. It is a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound. The use of sarcasm is viewed as an expression of concealed annoyance or anger–Get over it.
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