Wrong Short Flashcards
In a spotlight in the middle of an orchard…
… an optician uses his super sight (he was wearing his glasses today) to point (halfheartedly) at a midget Shrek in the distance (because he was stealing apples) (the spotlight swings over to shine on the thief midget Shrek and sirens start blaring in the distance)
A Not not a vowel
I (316) U (119) E (12)
In a medieval tent held up by apple trees in the corners from the orchard outside, apples strewn on the floor…
… a medieval couple are fornicating on the apples to try and stay quiet and not disturb the knights outside, but accidentally roll onto some eggs (not apples) (the cracking sound alerts the knights outside)
A Not lines never cross
F (30) X (19)
In the middle of an active archery range in a orchard, with people with apples on their heads instead of targets…
… a snake with an apple on its head dives into a very small patch of the nearby sea to avoid an arrow
A Not straight line in it
S (871) C (448)
At a hairdressers stall in an orchard…
… a dick looks in the mirror at their new hair made of apples and hates it so much they jump into a pan of boiling apple cider
A Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
D (368) P (203)
In an explosion in the middle of an orchard, apples flying everywhere…
A couple fornicating ride Harry off away from the explosion - their movements narrowly allowing them to dodge the oncoming apple explosion
A Not Diagonal line
F (44) G (30) H (14)
In an active archery range in the middle of a beehive, the arrows oozing very slowly along because of all the honey…
… Homer Simpson points at an unusually small snake - ‘the snake ate all the honey, not me! You don’t have to shoot me with arrows!’ The snake was obviously too small to eat all the honey…
B Not Straight line in it
O (195) U (120) S (46)
In a flower garden in the middle of a beehive - the flowers extremely big due to the fact they are in a beehive - bees flying along and taking a sip of the nectar…
… a pirate points at an extremely small Jay Rayner with his hook - jabbing him - ‘catch one of these bees for our supper - I hate honey’ - Jay climbs up one of the flowers but being small only catches an extremely small bee. It will have to do for the both of them, as unfortunately the pirate does not like honey
B Not No curves
R (112) U (65) J (15) B (11)
In a skyscraper in a beehive, made entirely of sticky honeycomb…
… an apple ponders the reason he exists: “Why am I living in this skyscraper made of honey? It seems like a bad place for an apple to live because at any moment they could get turned into a toffee apple, but then there are no kids this high up to eat me, just bees who prefer the honey…’
B Not Vertical line
A (146) Y (76)
In a medieval siege in the middle of a beehive, with all the shields, spears and siege engines sinking into the honey…
… Plato shines an opticians light on a sticky catapult - ‘I am very clever and believe this will harden the honey, stopping the siege equipment falling any further and letting the siege begin against the annoying bees’
B Not Horizontal line
Y (100) I (30)
In a siege encampment floating in the middle of the sea, with soldiers floating on upturned shields to stay afloat and some holding onto the floating catapults…
… some soldiers paddle over to a large eye floating in the water (probably from a fish), load it up and throw it half-heartedly at the castle in the distance
C Not Horizontal line
I (50)
In a church in the middle of the ocean, about waist deep in sea water…
… an oversized cup of tea is burning with hellish fire, clearing a space around it from the sea water as it evaporates leaving it the only dry patch in the whole sea-sodden church
C Not Touch more than 1 place
T (461) L (149)
In the middle of an archery range situated in the boy’s changing rooms, where the targets are big gym bags full of balls and the arrows have smelly socks on the end…
… Homer Simpson jabs his finger at a snake the same size of him ‘I was trying to save you from this huge snake that slithered up the shoer drain, not stare at you boys!’
D Not Straight line in it
O (188) U (158) S (126)
In a garden in the boys changing rooms, the plants wilting from the stench…
… a pirate stabs some of the leaves with a knife: It is the only sustenance here for him, but even he doesn’t want to touch the manky leaves with his hand
D Not No curves
R (85) D (43)
In a fairytale red and white medieval tent in a sunny English forest with a flag straight from Shrek…
… an egg half heatedly fornicates a queue of midgets, one at a time. This sort of cracks the egg so all the midgets, being small, get egg on them. Buth the egg is like a twisted fairytale creature from Shrek, and so are the ‘dwarves’ of course. The tent gives them some privacy from the other fairytale creatures.
E Not Lines never cross
X (214) F (43) Q (35)
In the site of a carriage crash between two onion carriages in Shrek land…
The chef (Jay Rayner) from Shrek climbs out and screams, because he needed to use the onion (carriage) for his soup
E Not Lines meet in 2 places
J (1)
In the middle of an explosion in Far Far Away, fairytale creatures flying everywhere…
… A massive D bats away a piece of shrapnel flying towards him with smoke coming out the end which is an absolutely minuscule fairytale pea with arms, legs and a face who is shouting ‘look out!’
E Not Diagonal line
D (1168) P (172)
In the middle of an explosion in a brothel, naked limbs flying everywhere…
… a pirate munches on an apple, enjoying the show being lewd and also immoral (as he is a pirate)
F Not No diagonal lines
R (213) A (164)
In a spotlight in a brothel…
… a couple are fornicating in front of a crowd of onlookers in a very rare position where the man is repeatedly dunking the woman into the fires of hell
F Not Vowel
F (100) T (82) L (65)
In the middle of an active archery competition in a brothel, with dancers on spinning wheels like the circus knife throwing competitions…
… a massive Homer Simpson in in the middle spinning wheel trying to point at the archers to ask them to stop, but barely pointing at all because his hands are tied
F Not Straight line in it
O (488) U (10)
In a skyscraper in a horse race, with many screens on the walls showing the status of the race…
… a man in an apple costume with a suit on over the top of it is staring intently at the race, cheering it on. The other office workers in the skyscraper look confused, but assume he is part of the new free fruit at work initiative.
G Not Vertical line
A (148)
In an explosion in my bedroom…
… it turns out luckily none of my stuff is blowing up instead just a ton of apples are blowing up everywhere
H Not No diagonal lines
A (926)
In an archery competition in my bedroom, people shooting my stuff like my shield, the window…
… Homer Simpson hides behind my shield, feebly pointing at the archers to stop but not really being able to reach out from the shield
H Not Straight line in it
O (485) U (60)
In a science experiment at the opticians, dissecting eyes
… a big flying pig buzzes around and stings the pirate scientist, who was the lead scientist dissecting the eye, in his own eye - making him wear an eye patch. He thought at first the pig was just an optical illusion as he was talking about eyes, until it did actually sting him
I Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places
M (300) B (99) R (35)
In a medieval tent in the opticians, the optical gear juxtaposing weirdly with the medieval surroundings…
… a medieval peasant is fornicating with an egg, likely because he never had proper eye care to realise it was just a leftover from the feast in the tent, not a person
I Not Lines never cross
F (75) X (22)
In a swanky opticians at the top of a big skyscraper office…
… a zebra in a suit is cooking a small pig on a spit, perhaps he thought it was his house and not the office because he was wearing big nerd glasses which don’t seem to work, then he might not cook an animal so close to a zebra (still not as close as a horse though that would be too close even with bad glasses!)
I Not Vertical line
Z (64) M (20)
In a medieval siege in an opticians, the castle being right next to the besiegers it being in the opticians room, but the besiegers still missing it because of their bad eyesight…
… a besieger fornicates with a horse in horse Armor which is pulling back a big trebuchet, probably not realising it wasn’t a person because if his poor eyesight
I Not No horizontals
F (125) G (25)
In an explosion in an opticians, some customers so blind they stay sitting in the waiting room…
… a dick wearing sunglasses keeps eating peas up its hole in the waiting room, not having any eyes to see the explosion, in fact enjoying the peas because they are more cooked now. The explosion glinting in the dick’s sunglasses.
I Not Diagonal line
D (296) P (89)
In an explosion in a kitchen, knives flying everywhere…
… the knives slice up an apple very neatly
J Not No diagonal lines
A (26)
At a KKK rally in a church…
… a security guard snake in a mixture of KKK and priest outfits shines a light at the devil who is coming in, to make sure he is evil enough , and ushers him through as he obviously is evil enough
K Not Touch more than 1 place
S (48) I (30)L (11)
At a KKK rally in an office in a skyscraper..
… the rally stops off to take the free office apples and have a much, before moving on
K Not Vertical line
A (17)
In a siege in the middle of hell, all the siege equipment on fire, shooting flaming skulls, and the soldiers’ heads are skulls and on fire…
… as they are running out of stuff to shoot Socrates thinks he is clever by pulling open a tiny hole in a tiny KKK member and pulls out a flaming skull from the hole to use as more ammunition (it wont work very well as it is so small)
L Not Horizontal line
Y (425) V (35) K (20)
In an explosion in the middle of hell, demons with horns and devil forks flying everywhere…
… the horns and forks all stick in a big apple in the middle of the explosion, as the apple cooks and gets more mushy the demons could eat it with the forks I guess
L Not No diagonal lines
A (528)
In a spotlight in the middle of hell…
…the eye of Sauron tries badly to do standup comedy
L Not Not a vowel
I (500)
In an archery competition in an abattoir, the arrows hitting lots of the hanging hams…
… Homer Simpson badly strangles a small snake ‘how did you get us in this mess you said we could just eat the ham I didn’t know there would be armed guards with bows and arrows… who would have thought a snake would be so duplicitous’. ‘He points at the snake so hard the snake drops the little snake-sized ham it was trying to steal.
M Not Straight line in it
O (337) S (91) U (70)
In a garden in an abattoir, the leaves coming out of hams and the topiary in the shape of meat cuts…
… the green giant buzzes around like a bee he got so giant because of all the protein in the meat flowers here
M Not No curves
P (239) B (90)
At an after school club doing farm-themed puzzles in the middle of a muddy chicken farm…
… a horse starts to fornicate me in front of all the children…
N Not 2 lines/curve
G (50) F (37) H (11)
In a muddy and smelly medieval tent in the middle of the chicken farm, chickens wandering around in the tent and on the tables…
… a couple fornicates, probably getting all sorts of chicken poop based diseases
N Not Lines never cross
F (30)
In a spotlight in the chicken farm…
… an optician is checking the eyesight of each animal in turn, who are waiting patiently in a queue on the side, to the interest of many onlookers at the farm
N Not Not a vowel
I (239)
In a farm in an office in a skyscraper…
… a horse is busy on his computer working, getting distracted by his chicken coworkers who want to chat and get a coffee
N Not Vertical line
G (900)
In a cartoon medieval tent in Springfield…
… a Simpsons couple fornicate (even though the tent is in the middle of the city aha so isn’t much privacy)
O Not Lines never cross
F (200)
In a cartoon spotlight in Springfield…
… an optician does stand up comedy while munching on the mike which looks like Lord Farquaad, making a loud noise and much to the dismay of the audience
O Not Not a vowel
I (68) A (57) E (39)
In a cartoon hairdressers in Springfield…
… the cartoon green giant getting a haircut by a Simpsons hairdresser on a ladder, whips his dick out which I immediately snipped off by the hairdresser, pouring out peas from his body
O Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
P (224) D (195)
In a cartoon explosion in the middle of Springfield…
… a giant cartoon Simpsons couple are fornicating with the fire and smoke cleverly covering their modesty while an absolutely tiny voyeuristic cartoon horse gives them the thumbs up before being swept away by the explosion
O Not Diagonal line
F (1000) G (24) H (21)
In the middle of an archery competition in the princess and the pea’s fairytale bedroom, arrows rebounding off the stone walls…
… Homer Simpson feebly points at a tiny snake: ‘He put the pea under the bed, not me! I would have eaten it already! Don’t shoot me with an arrow I’ll eat the pea now and get rid of it!’
P Not Straight line in it
O (361) U (80) S (55)
In a (skyscraper) office that has been set up in the princess and the pea’s fairytale bedroom trying to work out where the pea came from…
… a man in an apple suit that is massive with tiny armholes points to his computer, which shows the location of the pea as being under the bed, but he can literally barely points because the apple suit is so big.
P Not Vertical line
A (324) U (25)
In an explosion in the princess and the pea’s fairytale bedroom, mattresses and one pea flying everywhere…
… a pirate sits unperturbed in the middle of the room, eating an absolutely tiny ham. Resigned a bit like Jack Sparrow at the end of pirates of the Caribbean, maybe because there is no food or maybe because he knows the flying mattresses aren’t going to do anything, being soft. (The pea flies into the ham, adding much needed flavour)
P Not No diagonal lines
R (474) M (16)
In a medieval tent on a pirate ship, the swords, chests etc sliding from one side of the tend to the other…
… a fornicating couple get banged (aha) by a particularly fast moving chest.
R Not Lines never cross
F (10)
In a church on a pirate ship, the pews and holy water all sliding from one end to the other…
… Plato gets so annoyed trying to philosophise with everything moving that he decides to join the KKK and puts on a robe that is slightly too small for him, and in the time it takes to stretch and squeeze into it he gets knocked out by a sliding pew (perhaps divine intervention)
R Not Touch more than 1 place
Y (148) K (45)
On a spotlight on the deck of a pirate ship…
… a couple fornicating give a thumbs up to the pirates watching, who all arr in agreement, glad that they are having a good time, as being pirates on a ship there are no women
R Not Vowel
F (22) H (15)
In a (skyscraper) office filled with long grass…
… Uncle Sam tries to do his work on the famous America Wants You poster, but gets increasingly annoyed because his monitor is obstructed by all the long grass (this is why he wants to invade places like this)
S Not Vertical line
U (61)
On a (garden) park bench in the middle of the tall grass, slightly unnecessary as the grass is sort of a garden anyway, but the grass topiarised into weird shapes that look a bit like wicker men…
… a homeless man in a pea suit is sleeping on t bench, using long grass as padding (hopefully the pea doesn’t get eaten by a snake as it is sleeping)
S Not No curves
P (191)
In a medieval siege in the middle of tall grass, the shields and siege equipment all made of the grass and attached to the ground by the roots…
A big eye wearing medieval armour is trying to see where the enemy castle is so he can aim the catapult he is moving, but cant because of the annoyingly tall grass, so gets very angry
S Not Horizontal line
I (150)
In an outdoor hairdressers in the tall grass…
… Lord Farquaad is trying to get his hair cut but the hairdresser keeps cutting the long grass around him instead, getting in his eyes and on his robe, which makes him annoyed
S Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
E (932)
In a spotlight in the long grass…
… a big eye wearing a funny headdress made out of the grass like on of those Hawaiian ones, tries to do standup comedy to an audience of snakes in the grass, but the snakes hiss because they don’t like it, scaring the eye in case they try and eat him
S Not Not a vowel
I (400)
In a church in a stately home full of old people, full of old people who have all fallen asleep and are snoring…
… a cup of tea that one of the sleeping old people was drinking falls out their hand and is sucked up into the fires of hell, waking up the old person but only enough to wonder where his tea went, before falling back asleep. Maybe the tea was made with holy water.
T Not Horizontal line
I (343)
In a mock medieval siege in a stately home full of old people, the old people manning the replica siege weapons and wearing plastic medieval helmets, thoroughly enjoying it…
… one of the old people’s glass eyes falls out and is launched by a catapult, smashing a window
T Not Touch more than 1 place
T (171) L (98)
In a hairdressers in a stately home full of old people…
… Lord Farquaad gets very annoyed at how long the extremely old man is taking to cut his hair very very slowly
T Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
E (1205)
In the middle of an archery competition in a WW2 battlefield…
… a Nazi snake dives into a tiny puddle of (sea) water to avoid the arrows being shot at it, some sticking in the ground around it (they didn’t want to waste bullets on just a snake)
U Not Straight line in it
S (454) C (188)
In a science experiment in the middle of a WW2 battlefield, making mustard gas which is making all the ‘scientists’ cough…
… an Allied pig buzzes over and stings one of the tiny Nazi snake scientists who are coughing on the mustard gas they made
U Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places
M (138) B (89) S (14)
In a (skyscraper) office in the middle of a WW2 battlefield, explosions going on around it and some of the desks getting blown up, soldiers running past…
… a horse tries to do its spreadsheets but a soldier running past tries to et on him and ride him ,the horse annoyedly says for the hundredth time that day that he is an office horse and isn’t part of the war going on
U Not Vertical line
G (88)
In an outdoors hairdressers in the middle of a WW2 battlefield…
… a pea getting its long disgusting pea hair cut gets stabbed by a passing soldier with the very small scissors and dies
U Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
P (136) D (91)
In a church in the middle of a WW2 battlefield, the whole top of it blown off and smoke everywhere…
… an old person sleeping in one of the broken pews, obviously from the sermon before (sleeping sitting up) but who didn’t notice that the sermon finished of the church got blinking bombed drops the cup of tea he was holding which gets sucked up by a quite small gateway to hell. Maybe there was holy water in the tea.
U Not Touch more than 1 place
T (405) L (346)
In a garden in a public toilet, with all the plants nasty drooping and gross and covered in poo …
… a pirate does a poo and uses the manky leaves from the garden to wipe himself
W Not No curves
R (31)
In a salesman’s desk in a toilet (like the one Nelson Muntz has in that episode of The Simpsons) …
… an eye (who can seee all the test answers) is selling test answers to people in the school
W Not 3 or 4 straight lines in
I (50)
In a medieval siege in a public toilet, using piles of faeces and loading them up in the catapults and firing them, and using toiled lids as shields…
… all the soldiers are chickens wearing medieval Armor (as you couldn’t fit a full sized human siege in a toilet) and are loading up the shit on their mini chicken catapults and firing it on the walls and any human visitors with a splat. Other chickens are pecking at the grain in the poo
W Not Horizontal line
N (79)
In a hairdresser in a toilet…
… Lord Farquaad gags and has to leave with half his hair cut off the other half very long because it smells too bad in the toilet hairdresser
W Not 2 or 3 straight lines in
E (361)
At a breakfast buffet in a (skyscraper) office…
… an apple in a suit loading up his food for the day gets picked up by another office worker and carried away on their plate because they thought he was part of the breakfast buffet
X Not Vertical line
A (30)
At an archery competition in the middle of a breakfast buffet, shooting croissants off people’s heads and all the arrows having eggs on the end, making a massive mess …
… an octopus beats all the human contestants by being able to use four bows at once, shoots off the eggy arrows on a string and uses them to pick up croissants from the buffet at the end and eat them
X Not Straight line in it
C (26)
In an explosion in a cave, cave rock and gold ore flying everywhere…
… a miner pig munches on a chicken (like it was an apple) as he took the chicken instead of a canary in case he was hungry, but which obviously didn’t alert him to the explosion, as he runs out of the cave
Y Not No diagonal lines
M (24) A (16) N (13)
In a medieval siege in a cave, all the siege equipment carved from the rock of the cave, firing jagged boulders with gold ore in them and shooting stalagmites from bows and arrows…
… all the besiegers are snakes in medieval armour, as humans would never have a siege in a cave of course and snakes live in caves, so are fighting for territory
Y Not No horizontals
S (27)
In a tornado in a cave, rocks swirling around everywhere…
… snakes slither away and duck for cover to hide from all the swirling rocks and of course humans wouldn’t be in the cave, while snakes live there
Y Not 1 curve
S (20)
In a siege in the boy’s changing rooms, firing dirty socks from catapults…
… it’s so disgusting in there are pigs pooing everywhere (but you don’t even notice the smell because of all the stinky socks) and so the boys (channeling a recent history lesson where they learned about it) start catapulting the poo too
D Not Horizontal line
M (18)
In a medieval tent in a brothel…
… there is a couple fornicating (unsurprisingly, it being a brothel) (the tent is a bit like a themed room)
F Not Lines never cross
F (50)
In an archery competition in a horse race, the horses dodging the arrows…
Homer Simpson points feebly at a small snake, who it firing some of the arrows at the horses (the snake is probably jealous they have legs) (Homer doesn’t care about the shooting he just wants to eat the snake as he is bored of watching the horse racing which doesn’t happen in Springfield normally)
G Not Straight line in it
O (132) U (70) S (51)
In a garden in a horse race - the plants are those horsey hurdles made of hedge they jump over…
… a pirate has fun jumping over them and playing (even pirates need some time to relax and pretend to be a horse jumping over hurdles)
G Not No curves
R (197)
A siege in a horse race…
… is trying to catapult grain to the horses, to feed them (they are scared of the horses)
G Not Horizontal line
N (66)
In a flaming medieval tent in hell, everything in the tent getting hot…
… 2 gremlin demons fornicate even though it is very sweaty (there isn’t much privacy in hell)
L Not Lines never cross
F (25)
In a siege in an abattoir…
… some of the live pigs are firing the hams around at each other having a big laugh (which is quite macabre when you think about it)
M Not Horizontal line
M (96)
In a science experiment in Armathwaite Hall breakfast, scientists carefully tsking apart a boiled egg…
… Lord Farquaad (in a lab coat) is dissecting an eye (in an egg cup) at the breakfast table (weird breakfast I’m not even sure Armathwaite Hall does eyes, but I suppose it is egg shaped and does fit in an egg cup) (but the eye is fairytale and is asking Farquaad not to, a bit like the scene with Gingie)
X Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places
E (22) I (12)
In an archery competition in a cave, the arrows ricocheting everywhere and bouncing back sometimes making it more exciting…
… the targets are cans of peas (because the archers have been explorers stuck in the cave for a long time and all their (tinned) rations are gone, so they might as well shoot them with arrows)
Y Not No straight lines
P (25)
In a medieval tent in a grand old people’s home…
… you guessed it the old people are fornicating in private (maybe the tent is a bit like one of those plastic gazebos you find a lot in old people’s homes)
T Not Lines never cross
F (3)
