Week 9 - Liking and Loving

Question 1

Initial Attraction (4 aspects)

Answer 1

Physical attractiveness

• faces and bodies that are symmetrical are judged as more attractive regardless of culture, age or gender
• Biology: symmetry as a sign of health

Self-fulfilling prophecies

• Study by Snyder et al.,1977 : men see pictures of women from a phone conversation
• Highly attractive vs less attractive pictures
• Somebody else observed and rated the conversation (blind to condition)
• Rated conversations with more attractive women as more friendly

Propinquity (physical proximity)

• friendships formed in dorms/ tutor groups (people you see a lot)
• Interaction supports mastery and conectedness
• Interaction produces familiarity, and familiarity breeds attraction (mere exposure effect, attending lecture example)

Similarity

• we tent to interact with similar others (more opportunity: meet at shared interest events)
• We assume similar others are like us
• Similar others validate out beliefs and attitudes

Mutually reinforcing effects of interaction, similarity and liking
More liking –> higher peceived similarity –> more interaction
More interaction –> higher perceived similarity –> more liking

Question 2

Relationship Development (3 aspects) 
exchange and communal

Answer 2

Exchange relationships become communal relationships
Exchange : rewards to receive benefits (eg pay more attention to who buys each round )
Communal : show concern and caring

Influence of self-disclosure
-disclosure increases liking and trust (seem approachable and predictable, invoke reciprocity)

Close relationships
strong and frequent interdependence (mutual influence, how much you rely on each other)

Question 3

Cognitive interdependence

study rating self and other

Answer 3

The partner becomes the self

Computerised rating task: describe you? partner?

• faster on shared traits for ‘self and other’
• you think of yourself the same as you think of them

Self-other differences melt away

Question 4

Behavioural interdependence

slitting money study

Answer 4

Importance of feelings and intentions eg don’t react as badly when your BFF gives you a bad present than if your great aunt gives you the same thing

Study
Split money between yourself and other person
You give your friend and yourself the same amount of money
You give more money to ingroup (when participants role is known)

Question 5

Affective interdependence

Answer 5

Intimacy
a positive emotional bond that includes understanding and support

Commitment
the combined forces that hold the partners together
- Relationship satisfaction : reward level of relationship vs reward level of alternatives
- Barriers : \investment in relationship and cost of relationship termination
- Bi- directional relationship ; cognitive dissonance & self-perception lead to commitment actually increasing perceived satisfaction and costs

Question 6

Individual differences

attachment styles and sex differences

Answer 6

Attachment styles
people’s basic orientations towards others in close relationships
4 Styles : secure, preoccupied, avoidant, fearful (matching styles stay in relationships longer)

Sex differences
Men are more utilitarian (focus on needs more)
focus on shared activities versus shared emotions

Question 7

Effects of relationships
well-being
Mortality risk study

Answer 7

Well-being
Social Support : emotional and physical coping resources provided by other people (not just happier, stronger immune response and lower death rate)

• Meta-analysis study found that social support increased odds of survival more than not smoking and not obesity
• Gender differences: emotional-focused vs problem-focused support

Question 8

Conflict Process
responding to negative acts
Attribution

Answer 8

Interdependence ensures some conflict

Responding to negative acts
Constructive accommodation: actively discussing, waiting for improvement, forgiving
Destructive accommodation: yelling at partner, refusing to spend time

Forgiveness = longer relationships, higher satisfaction

Attribution
Attribution to negative motives
You did it because you don’t love me

Cycles of conflict
negative attribution and destructive accommodation
ended by emotional reconciliation ie one partner makes the first concession

Question 9

Rejection and unrequited love

Answer 9

Effects on rejected lover
Positive: hope, fond memories
Negative: disappointment, loss of self-esteem

Effects for rejector
Positive: increased self-esteem
Negative: guilt, irritation, anger

turns out to be 50/50 (bad for both)

Question 10

Secret Affairs

Answer 10

Ironic mental control
keeping a secret, thinking of failures, other person is on your mind more so they become more familiar, therefore you’re more attracted to them