W11 RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE/REPAIR Flashcards
What are trends in relationship satisfaction?
As we’ve seen, satisfaction in a romantic relationship tends to decline over time
But there’s substantial variation around the average trajectory (at least among newlyweds)
What are relationship maintenance mechanisms?
Relationship maintenance mechanisms are the strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships.
What are the relationship maintenance mechanisms?
- Trust
- Gratitude
- Staying Committed
- Willingness to Sacrifice
- Derogation to Alternatives
- Staying Content
(TGSWDS) tommy goes swimming when diet sucks
What is trust, how is it conceptualised?
Depends on the partner’s PDF 1) predictability; 2) dependability; 3) faith
- Predictability: emphasise the CONSISTENCY and stability of a partner’s specific behaviours, based on past experience
- Dependability: the dispositional qualities of the partner, which warrant CONFIDENCE in the face of RISK and potential hurt (e.g., honesty, reliability)
- Faith: feelings of CONFIDENCE in the relationship and the responsiveness and CARING expected from the partner in the face of an UNCERTAIN future.
What is the theory that explains gratitude? How does it work with gratitude?
Broaden and Build Theory suggests that positive emotions serve to broaden an individual’s thought-action repertoire > can build personal resources.
Gratitude
ACTION: when one experiences gratitude, it encourages them to appreciate the positive aspects of their lives > build social resources by strengthening social bonds and relationships.
THINKING: Broadens thinking on how to benefit others > psychological and social resources built. helps them to buffer against attachment insecurities (ie emotional resilience)
How does commitment affect a person?
People who are committed to a partnership –who want and expect it to continue–
both think and behave differently than less committed partners do.
Thinking: What are cognitive mechanisms for commitment?
CIPID
1. Cognitive interdependence
2. Positive illusions
3. Perceived superiority
4. Inattention to alternatives
5. Derogation of tempting alternatives
Acting: What are behavioural mechanisms for commitment?
MWFP mon wed fri PARDYY
2. 1. Willingness to sacrifice
2. Michelangelo phenomenon (act as catalysts for each other’s growth)
3. Play
5. Forgiveness / Accommodation
What was the study done to understand commitment and willingness to sacrifice?
Existential Threat Study:
Ps reported on their commitment to the relationship and on their partners
most important goals
- Low threat: If the partner pursues the goals, it will create some conflict, but it’s unlikely to end the relationship
- High: Pursuit of the goals could plausibly end the relationship
Results:
Low threat high commitment - most support
High threat high commitment - least support
How do people feel about the sacrifices they’ve made for their relationship (will Rachel resent Ross)?
People who are more (vs. less) communally oriented toward their partner tend to feel HAPPIER, more APPRECIATED, & more satisfied after making a sacrifice
This effect is driven in part by the sacrifice feeling more authentic (true to oneself)
People feel better about sacrifices they make for APPROACH reasons (e.g., to enhance intimacy) than sacrifices they make for AVOIDANCE reasons (e.g., to avoid conflict)
What are the ways people avoid the temptation of alternatives?
High commitment leads to high motivation to have:
1. Derogation: They evaluate attractive alternatives as less desirable
2. Inattention: They shift their attention away from attractive alternatives
What is the study for derogation to alternatives? Hypothesis and results?
The Dating Service Study (1989)
Ps reported their commitment to their current partner
Then they evaluated a potential new partner, who was created to be either moderately or highly appealing
Hypothesis: Highly appealing partner is threatening and therefore should trigger derogation
Correct - highly committed people scored moderate and highly attractive people the same. Derogation was present.
What is the study for inattention to alternatives? Results?
Hetero newlyweds performed a computer task that measured how quickly they disengaged attention from photos of: (1) attractive men, (2) attractive women, (3) average-looking men, and (4) average-looking women
Results -
» Slower disengagement from photos of attractive other-sex people (but not from photos of the other groups) predicted infidelity in the first three years of marriage
» 100ms faster predicted a 50% reduction in infidelity likelihood
Attention to alternatives > infidelity > relationship dissolution
How do these activities link to people being content?
Partners who routinely engage in these activities are happier than those who work less hard to maintain their partnerships.
Week 11: Low self-esteem and Regretting of sacrifices, Dark side of forgiveness
Compare and contrast both articles and discuss the main findings of both articles
Sacrifice
- Those with low self-esteem tend to regret their sacrifices and experience negative emotions as a result
- Mediator: Perceived lack of support from partner
- But the tendency to sacrifice does not differ between low and high self-esteem individuals! Only tendency to regret and experience the negative emotions that come with it
Forgiveness
- Positive association between spouse’s reports of tendencies to express forgiveness to their partner, and partner’s reports of physical and psychological aggression
- Those who reported forgiving less experienced declines in both forms of aggression over time
