The Odd Couple (Female Version) Flashcards
MICKEY: Do you know any penguins? …Intimately?
That shouldn’t be Science and Nature. That should be gossip.
MICKEY: I’ll say they do it 6 times.
Why only 6 times?
MICKEY: Did you ever see what they look like?
They live on icebergs. What else could they do all winter? I say 20 times.
RENEE: I’m going to pass out, I swear.
Someone told me you were seeing a doctor. Is it anything serious?
SYLVIE: Do you mind if she asks the question first? Go on, Vera.
What does C mean in Einstein’s theory of relativity, E=MC squared?
SYLVIE: We’ll try sports.
You can’t change after you’ve heard the question.
MICKEY: A minute thirty and counting down.
Who pitched back-to-back no-hitters for the Cincinnati Reds in 1938?
RENEE: Give us a hint.
What kind of hint?
RENEE: Is it baseball or football?
It’s baseball. I’ll give you another hint. He has a Dutch name.
RENEE: Joe Rembrandt
Is that your answer?
SYLVIE: Peter Windmill
Is that your answer?
OLIVE: I’m coming, I’m coming.
Do you give up?
RENEE: Not yet… Bobby Amsterdam, Tony Tulips.
Give up, you’ll never get it. I have to leave by 12.
SYLVIE: Where the hell are you running?
I told you that when I sat down, I have to leave by 12. Mickey, didn’t I say that when I sat down? I have to leave by 12.
MICKEY: I’m really starting to worry about Florence. She’s never been this late before.
I told Harry I’d be home by one at the latest. We’re making an 8:00 plane to Florida.
MICKEY: Who goes to Florida in July?
It’s off-season. There are no crowds and you get the best rooms for 1/10th the price.
MICKEY: Maybe Florence is sick. I’m really getting nervous.
Do you give up?
OLIVE: Alright what’s the question?
MICKEY: You only have 4 seconds.
Who pitched back to back -
RENEE: The woman produces a prime time news show and she oesn’t have a maid. Five. 12345, science and nature.
Ooh this is good. What closes when a frog swallows?
OLIVE: Extra jockey shorts
Is that your answer?
OLIVE: He carried a Bible
That’s right!
RENEE: Don’t get that mournful look in your eye again. The man lost your entire life savings at the track. Two, science and nature.
What’s the strongest muscle in a man’s body?
SYLVIE AND MICKEY: Right!
Well, you have to look at it both ways. What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
SYLVIE: You’re gonna be some big hit in Florida.
You give up on the strongest muscle?
RENEE: The tongue
That’s right.
RENEE: Don’t ask me how I know that. Three, 123. Sports and leisure.
What’s the southern dish made of pig’s small intestines called?
MICKEY: If you mean it, I have my gun here.
What’s the oldest known vegetable in the world?
MICKEY: Hand me my purse, I’ll shoot her now.
Is that your final answer?
SYLVIE: Yes! You are the oldest vegetable known to man.
Wrong. (Genuine surprise) It’s the pea! (Toss the dice)
OLIVE: The kids today are smarter than us. Why go through all the trouble of marriage when you can have a roommate? I’m going to start looking around on the bus tomorrow.
Entertainment.
OLIVE: Everybody, all together!
Bill Haley and the Comets!!!
OLIVE: Always had a pound of grease in his hair. Remember that winter he went out and his head froze? He had to comb his hair with a hammer and chisel.
You know who I thought the cutest one in the school was? …Mr. Schwartzman, the principal. (dreamy nod)