The Dark Side of Relationships - Ch.10

Question 1

What does the Attachment Theory assert?

Answer 1

Depending on the the ways our primary caregivers interacted with us during the first five years of our life, we attach to our romantic partners in different ways.

Question 2

Name the different attachment styles.

Answer 2

1. Secure Attachment Style
   We see ourselves an our partners positively
2. Dismissive Attachment Style
   We have a positive view of ourselves, but a negative view of our partners. Actively resists intimacy; had unresponsive caregivers.
3. Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
   We view ourselves and our partners negatively.
   This style comes with low self-esteem. Want close relationships, but avoid relational intimacy.
4. Preoccupied Attachment Style
   View themselves negatively and partners positively. Clingy. Sensitive.

Question 3

What are hurtful message?

Answer 3

Verbal communication that results in hurtful feelings.

Question 4

What are the four main themes that surface from the research of hurtful events?

Answer 4

1. Acts of communication that result in hurtful feelings.
2. Victims feeling devalued.
3. Perceptions from victim and perpetrator are different.
4. There are no sex/gender differences in events that cause hurtful feelings.

Question 5

List the seven events of relational devaluation

Answer 5

1. Betrayal
2. Teasing
3. Jealousy
4. Harsh criticism
5. Disassociation
6. Rejection
7. Cheating

Question 6

List the four sub variables that make people feel they have been deceived.

Answer 6

1. Lied to
2. Misled
3. Tricked
4. Manipulated

Question 7

When does criticism occur?

Answer 7

Criticism occurs when the perpetrator communicates a judgement, opinion, or begins Tia discussion regarding what is potentially wrong, faulty, or lacking about the partner. Includes jokes and teasing.

Question 8

List the three components of a conflict.

Answer 8

1. 2 people
2. Perception
3. Incompatible goal

Question 9

Describe 5 styles of conflict.

Answer 9

1. Collaborating
Positive conflict style allows people to feel heard an valued
2. Compromising 
Somewhat positive conflict style allows people's concerns to be heard, but there is only a compromise at the end.
3. Accommodating
Sacrifices the needs of one party
4. Competing
Anger and aggression is involved
5. Avoiding
Does not make problem go away

Question 10

List six tips to having a successful conflict

Answer 10

1. Consider the surrounding
2. Consider culture
3. Make sure all parties are ready
4. Define the fight
5. Check your perceptions
6. Check your self-esteem