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ASD Junior Year > The Brothers Grimm Lines > Flashcards

The Brothers Grimm Lines Flashcards

1
Q

If only I could live in a boot or make some deal with elves or find a talking fox

A

Excuse me, but I couldn’t help overhearing your tale of misery and woe. Tell you what: I will grant you your heart’s desire if you give me one small thing

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2
Q

I won’t even ask what the small thing is because I’m so trusting

A

Excellent (magical sign) I vanish
(cover girl’s eyes)
I vanish again

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3
Q

And just then…

A

I have returned

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4
Q

What do you want?

A

Your child!

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5
Q

You heard what I said, witch

A

For the last time, I’m an Enchantress

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6
Q

I’m not cleaning that up

A

Now that that horrid little man is gone, I will take Rapunzel

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7
Q

I’ve got more claim than some stupid little witch

A

Enchantress!

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8
Q

Whatever, witch

A

That’s it! Let’s go!

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9
Q

Quiet honey I’m watching this. Go Devil!

A

Expelliarmus!

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10
Q

That’s a witch spell

A

Fine I curse you!

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11
Q

Tell ya what, if you sign this contract here, I will let you take Rapunzel

A

Oh this seems legit

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12
Q

And I disappear in a cloud of brimstone!

A

Well, come along Rapunzel

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13
Q

Where are we going?

A

I’ve got this great tower for you

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14
Q

So I’m um just supposed to sit here in lockdown, right?

A

Right

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15
Q

When will I get out?

A

Who knows? Don’t leave, don’t talk to anyone, and if you get any packages I want you to wipe them down with this 80% alcohol solution

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16
Q

one bar one bar OH COME ON

A

Guess you’ll have to read books and wash your hair with these radioactive hair care products

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17
Q

And for no apparent reason, the Enchantress decided to use her hair as a ladder

A

Rapunzel! Let down your hair to me!

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18
Q

Why didn’t you build stairs?!

A

My architect was drunk!

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19
Q

Why don’t you use your magical powers to fly up here?!

A

For the last time, I’m an Enchantress, not a witch!

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20
Q

Stop it. Ow. Ow.

A

(overlapping) Would it hurt you to wash this? Hold still. There’s a bird’s nest in here. Stop moving. You’re ruining this

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21
Q

Nothing much, just sitting out this global pandemic in a doorless tower in the middle of nowhere. What do you want?

A

You got a package from FedEx today.

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22
Q

Where is it?

A

Oh I forgot. Hold on. (Descend)

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23
Q

I will love her forever because all the other options are terrible

Fine

A

Now where did I put that package

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24
Q

No problem. Ow. Ow. Ow.

A

Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

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25
Q

What am I, a laddar?
owowowowowowowoow

A

Who was that?

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26
Q

Nobody

A

Don’t lie to me! You just had a man over!

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27
Q

You’re being overprotective

A

I know what’s best for you!

28
Q

I want to go out and hang out with friends!

A

They’re a bad influence on you! I kept you here to protect you, don’t you see? That’s why you’re homeschooled. Because modern society is horrible darling. And if you go out there and hear a bad word or see something suggestive you’re going to fall apart and live the rest of your life strung out on drugs and riding on the back of a guy named Tank’s Harley. Don’t you see? I did it for you.

29
Q

Oh. You’re just trying to protect me from the real world. I get it now.

A

See? It’s because I love you that I lock you away in a tower and don’t let anyone near you. I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes I did so I’m taking away any possibility that you make any decisions whatsoever. It’s called parenting. Your parents would have done the same thing if I didn’t steal you from them.

30
Q

Yeah my real parents were jerks.

A

Which is what makes this all more difficult

31
Q

Aaaaaah! I’m bald!!!

A

Yes. And now I’m going to banish you to a desert where you can wander for the rest of your life and think about how you disappointed me.

32
Q

Can we get back to the story please? Right-o

A

I’ll just put Rapunzel’s hair on my head and wait for that hunky prince.

33
Q

Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

A

Here you are my darling!

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow OWWWww.

34
Q

Ah! You’re not Rapunzel!

A

Oh so now you’re picky about who’s up here in the tower?

35
Q

Aaaak

A

That’s really too bad. I liked him. You know, I have this weird feeling that I’m slightly responsible for this situation. I’m over it. O-kay what’s on the calendar for today?

Turning a man into a golden goose. That should be rewarding.

36
Q

Once upon a time. There was a Princess.

A

Oh look! I have a ball! Oh whoops I dropped it!

37
Q

A clumsy princess

A

Oh no I kicked into that pond over there!

38
Q

Drop something?

A

IT’S A TALKING FROG!!!! WHAT THE HECK! AHHHHHH! I’M GOING CRAZY! I’m insane now! The animals are talking! Help!

(Run in circle and collapse)

39
Q

And several hours later after she calmed down with the help of her soothing stone…

A

The frogs are talking….the frogs are talking….I am in a horror movie….

40
Q

Um….so…is this your ball?

A

He’s not talking to me. It’s just a hallucination, it’s just a hallucination.

41
Q

He was a lonely frog

A

If you ignore him he’s not real…

42
Q

So I guess that’s a deal then huh?

A

Okay.

(take the ball)

Ha!

43
Q

Hi honey.

A

Hey Dad. Can’t talk!

44
Q

And she locked herself in her room.

A

I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy.

45
Q

Honey, our daughter’s acting weird again. She gets this from your side of the family.

A

Where is my soothing stone, where is my soothing stone?

What?

46
Q

Forgot something?

A

Ahhhhhh!

47
Q

You. Ow. Said. Ow. You. Ow. Would. Ow. Be my friend.

A

I suppose if I kill you you’re going to haunt me.

48
Q

Probably.

A

All right I’ll be your friend.

49
Q

I want some flies.

A

You’re fine.

50
Q

Can I stay in the bed with you because I-

A

Nope

51
Q

I wanna be a free frog!

A

Tough!

52
Q

Because I couldn’t recognize you

A

Okay frog. I guess you can stay in the bed.

53
Q

Maybe a kiss from-

A

You’re gross

54
Q

So she talked to her father, the King

A

Daddy, I have this friend. And she like, agreed to be friends with this talking frog because he found her ball. But then…this frog is like, pressuring her? To kiss him? What should she do?

55
Q

There’s a talking frog?

A

Maybe.

56
Q

Honey? Are you the talking frog?

A

No. I’m the friend! Oh- I shouldn’t have told you that.

57
Q

Look darling, you made a deal with this frog, didn’t you?

A

Yeah.

58
Q

So I guess you know what you need to do.

A

But I think of him as more of a friend than a boyfriend.

59
Q

You see I was something of a dork

A

Daddy!

60
Q

So I leaned in to kiss her

A

And that’s how you and Mom got together?

61
Q

pet cockatiel Ramon to poop on As if she-

A

Wait a minute. What if you weren’t actually a nice guy? What if you were really annoying and not very attractive and you just expected this girl to look past your appearance and personality, but you never looked past her appearance because you were superficial and shallow. And maybe when she said she wanted to be friends, what she really meant was that you acted like you had an expectation that just because you liked her, she was obligated to like you back. But it doesn’t work that way. If you really wanted her to kiss you, you should’ve just been yourself and accepted the fact that she didn’t like you and she didn’t just exist for your gratification.

62
Q

Um…

A

I know what I need to do. Good talk Dad.

Look, I’m setting clear boundaries. If you want to be friends, that’s cool, but I don’t like you like that, and I’m not going to tell you twice. Either we’re friends, or you go back to your pond and live with your kids.

63
Q

I’m actually a swimsuit model?

A

Give me some sugar.

64
Q

My abs have returned!

A

Sweet! You’re gorgeous!

65
Q

I know! Let’s get married!

A

Done!

ASD Junior Year (19 decks)

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