Systemic Coaching | Level One

Question 1

Appreciation/Positive Reinforcement

Answer 1

“I love your progress”

“I really appreciate your honesty with yourself”

“I really appreciate your commitment”

“I like the way you work”

“Good work! I believe you’ve reached an important conclusion”

“That sounds important to you!”

Question 2

Low position

Answer 2

“I don’t know…”

“I’m not sure….”

“It may be the wrong time….”

“I may not have the right words…”

Question 3

Coaching Goal

Answer 3

less of storytelling, more action

Question 4

Coaching top 3 meta skills:

Answer 4

Listening

Silence

Presence

Question 5

Listening (meta skill, describe)

Answer 5

facial expressions & body posture

Question 6

Silence (meta skill, describe):

Answer 6

no interruption, comfortable with silence

Question 7

Presence (meta-skill, describe):

Answer 7

“hmhmm, ahah”

Question 8

Verbal punctuation:

Answer 8

(very) clear!, sooo?, aaand?

Question 9

Keyword repetition (meta skill, describe):

Answer 9

Statement & question, spot a pattern

Future-oriented and avoid repeating negative words

Question 10

Keyword questioning:

Answer 10

“Who needs xxx in your situation?”

“I see that you have thought a lot about it, but what else can you think of?”

Question 11

Ask for permission:

Answer 11

“May I interrupt…”

“May I share something…”

“Can I ask a question?…”

“May I share a feeling?…”

“Can I share a perception of how you are progressing?…”

(wait for silence)

Question 12

Validation/Goal oriented:

Answer 12

A: ask for permission (silence)..

B: “So far you are expressing facts, but what do you want to do about it?”

Question 13

Invitation:

Answer 13

A: ask for permission (silence)…

B: “Are you ready to start this session?”

“Are you ready to work on an action plan?”

“Which way would you like to proceed?…”

“Should we start concluding on this?…”

“How do you want to work on this challenge, what is your plan?”

Question 14

Short synthesis/recap:

Answer 14

Focus on the process & behaviour, NOT the content.

A: “May I offer a short synthesis/recap” - wait for yes or approval

B: “It seems you know your situation very well…. Sooo?”

“Basically, you stated your concerns and you seem to have two options. Sooo?”

“I think I’ve heard you saying;
-you have several options,
-you’ve made a decision,
-you need to make a decision
… sooo?”

“It seems your situation is very clear to you… sooo?”

Question 15

Ethical Sharing:

Answer 15

It is about authenticity, compassion and vulnerability.

A.
“May I interrupt…” (silence), or
“May I share something…” (silence)
and wait for “Yes”

B:
“Can I share a difficulty/challenge?”, or
“I have a very similar issue/challenge as yours…”.

Then,
“I’m going through …”, or
“I’m feeling ….”
+ give something from my heart…

C: Contract.
“Let’s not mix the issues… If I project anything on you, please let me know. Thank you!… You were saying”

Question 16

Systemic Sharing:

Answer 16

Look for unusual things and share

A:
“May I interrupt…” (wait for yes)

B: “I like to share…”;
-sensation in my body,
-behaviour/something I did or not,
-feeling (stress, impatient, ….),
-emotion (sad, happy),
-shared event (interruption/before).

Describe it;
“that was not good”
“I made a mistake”
“I’m sorry I’d say”

+ Decouple it: “I am fine on my end”. “This is just me. I will handle this. Don’t worry”

+ Question: “I wonder in your situation…”
-”who is doing this“
-“feeling that”
-“what is the connection with your issue”
-“I wonder in your situation who is doing the same…”

C:
“But I may be wrong. This is just an idea or perception. Thank you! Soooo?…” (long position)