Strategic Communication Flashcards
1 Massively Effective Persuasion Trick (Altercasting)
(IAP)
- Understand what identity they are showing to the world
- How can your desired course of action help them achieved their desired identity
Explain how the behavior will make them appear more like identity
- Convey your persuasive message
Tactfully, say all people who are like X act like Y
3 Tricks for Power like Thomas Shelby
Info power is the ability to influence behavior based off info you share w/ someone.
People weigh losses more heavily than gains. Frame the convo in terms of what the person has to lose if they don’t team up
How do you turn an enemy into an ally: 1. keep track of people’s issues 2. figure out a unique value you can offer & how it is better for you to be friends 3. create an issue w/ a common enemy. In summary, enemies → allies through incentives
How do you turn someone into a spy: 1. help someone who is in desperate need (reciprocity) 2. select people who are talkative & insecure (people who run their mouth or enjoy being helpful, glean info from them by using the right question; networking is a number’s game) 3. bribe people to continually keep them dependent (attention, compliments, money, or blackmail but as a last resort)
How do you maximize negotiation leverage: 1. never negotiate from a defensive position; attack first (put the other person in a desperate position where they need you more before your action & try asking how you can make your negotiation partner’s position worse; BATNA= best alternative to a negotiation agreement; try to trash your opponent’s BATNA) Ex: apply for more jobs than once during an interview 2. use the carrot & stick 3. create an effective narrative where working together or complying is good; ask how you frame your discussion so that complying w/ you is the morally or socially good thing to do 4. be willing to walk away & don’t try to hard or show desperation
6 Steps for Power & Successes/Mistakes
(RECIRL)
Expert Power (technical knowledge): ability to influence people bc of your superior skills or knowledge.
How to build it= study people’s strength/weaknesses & what makes them tick; put yourself in the right situations in every step of your career (ex. as a rookie worker join people who are on the cutting edge of the field like google/microsoft to help you experience how they do things & then leave & put yourself in a position where you are the expert (ex. starting own consulting for businesses or joining smaller company as expert) you invest in power early by learning valuable skills from the best & later position yourself in a situation where you are the only one w/ those abilities
Practice turning poor situations to your advantage
Coercive Power (threats, shaming): Influence w/ punishment or threat
Can also connections who have coercive power; need to be more subtle nowadays; improve your ability to shame others & have comebacks; find weaknesses; watch celebrity roast videos & practice insulting people you see in your mind.
Ask yourself what would you do if someone doesn’t act the way that you want & then develop that resource
Plan & crush your enemies all at once. Target the leaders to limit resources you have to expend. Constantly look for the most efficient use of any advantage you have in order to continue to build another power source.
Craft a reputation for brutality w/ bluntness & insults but make sure that being feared for that situation is the best tactical option.
Reward Power (gifts) influence by giving/witholding gifts
Select high demand job or job w/ no salary cap (sales, engineering, nursing, construction: these jobs will be difficult but power is not easy to attain & they will allow you to build your financial assets; can also start your own business like lawn-mowing, electrician, security, consultant, etc.)
Create a group of people that you want to be a part of. Create barriers to that group that you control. Make group membership enticing.
Info Power: influence behavior using valuable knowledge like knowing what your co-workers make
Be aware of price standards in the area you do business like salaries & going rates for purchasing things for better negotiation. Make guess statements that you think are false & watch reactions & body language to your statement. Fish for info this way. (ex. to boss say it’s too bad we aren’t getting a Christmas bonus & watch)
Form key relationships, associate w/ talkers, put yourself in places where info is first obtained
Referent Power (liking/adoration): influence using liking or affiliation
Learn to build rapport by making the person feel understood & valued. Embody popular social values that popular people use.
Make an effort to tactically serve others & be generous. Play the long game. Set & protect your boundaries
Legitimate Power: influence using moral/social norms bc of position
Invest in people before they are powerful for networking. Do favors for ambitious people who show potential. Don’t help people who are currently successful or they might think it’s part of deal or that they deserve it. If you give insignificant people a break they won’t forget it. Be willing to introduce young, up & comers to your network & be willing to give guidance & insight as a long term investment & help you reap the awards via a human being’s need to be reciprocal
Fulfill a powerful person’s needs & convince them to legitimize you to save yourself years of hard work
Active Listening
Presence (describe person through the 5 senses); Listen w/ the intent to UNDERSTAND not reply.
Build Rapport w/ Anyone
(SPC ESS EBAV) SICK PUSSY CUNT. EXTRA SLICK SAUCE. EAT BIG ASSES VIRGIN.
Make Them Feel Significant: express excitement, compliment them
Establish Your Purpose: do this to eliminate suspicion & let them know what’s in it for them to lower their guard
Avoid Unnecessary Conflict
Focus on Esteem Building Topics
Point Out Similarities
Summarize their Ideas Back: (also mirror body language but not too much or it creeps them out)
Expand their Ideas: tell me more; implications or effects
Elicit More Speech w/ Nods & Confirming Noises
Ask Clarifying Questions
Tactical Vulnerability: share a story or fact about yourself that you would typically hide; works when the things you are exposing matches something about your target; don’t go all the way to to the other side to show yourself as incompetent
Key Points: Establish your purpose for the conversation so they can relax (I’m hungry so what good restaurants are in the area). Ask easy to answer questions like things that people have experience w/ or are proud of (recommendations for people’s favorite tv shows, hobbies, or vacation spots). Keep the person talking to make them feel more important. Point out similarities but do it sparsely so as to not freak them out.
CYCLE THROUGH THESE 4 AS MANY TIMES AS NECESSARY UNTIL THEY RELAX. Try to keep switching the topic around until you find something mutually interesting. FOCUS THESE STATEMENTS & QUESTIONS ON THE CUSTOMER’S RELEVANT PROBLEMS. Do not talk about the weekend as a salesperson when you both know the purpose of a conversation is to move a product. Find a need you can help w/ or move on. Rapport will come naturally as they feel more understood.
Concise Speech
Speak Like You’re Talking to a Child
(PREP): Point, Reason, Example, Point Summarized
(WSN): What, So What, Now What
Critical Thinking/Strategy
- Formulate your question
- Gather your info
- Apply the info
- Consider the implications
- Explore others points of view
Implications/Outcome/Future & Reverse Thinking & Detaching/Stepping Back
How to Dominate Under Pressure & 7 Lessons (Thomas Shelby)
Effortless & non-reactive: slow cadence & deliberate movements show apathy. Signals control & authority. Reactions are moderated yet emerge languid. Responds at his own pace. Breathe placidly, blink slowly, & maintain a soft spoken tonality like extremely low, heartbeat pulse. Can’t be baited or provoked by enemies & frustrates them
Be Nonchalant: about whether you live or die, succeed or fail. IT IS ALREADY DETERMINED, so no point in worrying.
Use Abstract Intelligence: great powers of perceiving & abstracting ideas. Disconnect feelings from your actions & practice detachment.
Leverage information: use the carrot & stick. Delve deep into understanding what the other person desires or fears. Foresight, brilliant planning, & impeccable research prepares & helps you to envision what could happen in a situation & won’t catch you by surprise. You have already walked through the scenario & braced yourself
Eye Contact; Saying No/Ignoring; Steps Ahead; Know Your Weaknesses; Controlling Emotions to Control the Situation; No Interrupting Convo; Mind Over Feelings
How to Never Run Out of Things to Talk About
PRESENCE & DONT TRY TO IMPRESS (ROR CQT RDS)
- reminds of
- open ended Qs (how, why)
- revival question: how do you guys know each other & what’s your story & exciting plans for the future
- complimentary cold read: you look like the type
- Quick scan news or environment
- Think around the topic via related topic
- Refer back to old topics
- Dont filter yourself
- Silly questions: first impressions, most embarrasing thing, etc.
- Tell mre more about x; what do you do for fun; what else do you enjoy about your work; I’m literally out of things to say so tell me something interesting about you
Improptu Speaking / Thinking on Your Feet
Steer Don’t Follow, Use Frameworks/Structures
- Chronological: past, present, future & what is happening, has happened, can happen
- Persuasive: whats the issue & solution; how can it benefit
- Motivation: what’s the issue, why it’s important, & what’s next
CPM
Problem -> Solution -> Benefits (PSB)
Solution -> Why -> Action (SWA)
Learn What People Want in 3 Steps
(DDP)
how all humans are motivated:
1 self-direction (freedom, independence, curiosity, creativity, choosing own goals, privacy, self-respect); 2 Stimulation (daring, varied, exciting life) 3 Hedonism (enjoying life, self-indulgent, pleasure); 4 Achievement (intelligent, capable, successful, influential, ambitious); 5 Power (social recognition, wealth, authority, social power, preserving public image); 6 Security (healthy, family security, social order, clean, sense of belonging, reciprocation of favor, national security) 7 Conformity (self-discipline, politeness, honoring of elders, obedient) 8 Tradition (respect for tradition, devout, detachment, humble) 9 Benevolence (mature love, helpful, forgiving, spiritual life, true friendship, meaning in life, honest, responsible, loyal) 10 Universalism (broadminded, equality, unity w/ nature, protecting the environment, inner harmony, a world of beauty, social justice, a world at peace, wisdom, mature love, a spiritual life, true friendship, helpful, forgiving) [SSH APS CTBU]
Find the primary motivating desire:
Ask this question= What Identity is this Person Broadcasting to the World? What Are They Trying to Convince Everyone Of? What Is Their Life Narrative?
Approach these convos from help me understand you perspective will make people more likely to open up to you. Be willing to share your opinion & even change it if you’re wrong also helps people to be more open. Also be willing to see the world through their eyes to see what motivates & persuades them
People always broadcasting their desired identity to the outer world. Also look at what they wear, what they own, what they idolize. What do they like to do w/ their spare time, hobbies, vacation. Why do they get emotional, excited, etc. THINK AS OTHER PEOPLE DO - Godfather
Enough pain that they are open-able & willing to change?:
If a person isn’t experiencing pain in an area of their life you are wasting their time trying to change their behavior. Need to look for a different source of pain or move on to another target
Biggest mistake new persuaders & new salesmen make. They spend too much of their time w/ someone who isn’t going to buy or change their mind.
Ask questions to screen out people who aren’t losing money from their pain (sales). Ask about how the person came to believe the position that they currently hold. Ask them what the other side typically says, do they know the counter arguments. What would it take for them to actually change their position. What is their biggest struggle lately & what frustrates them. Try to see the world through their eyes.
If your target has good answers you are dealing w/ someone who is open to persuasion & they probably have some pain. If the person gets defensive, your delivery is too aggressive or they are not open to changing their mind on the topic & are not in enough pain
Strategic Communication
Communicating w/ purpose while showcasing value in order to achieve a goal. (GAVN)
Identify the Goal (know the what)
Understand your Audience (know the who)
Communicate the Value; what they get out of the Partnership (say the why)
Express the Need (work the how now)
The 3 Ingredients of Charisma
(PPW) Being slow & measured is truly game changing in presenting ourselves more elequently
Presence: don’t be distracted; imagine the person is the most powerful/ interesting person; get comfortable w/ discomfort if you can do this you can handle anything & beat most people; wiggling your toes/sensations; how would you describe the person in front of you w/ all 5 senses; soft eye contact & keep for last 3 secs of encounter; reflective listening/paraphrasing/asking questions; let them talk about themselves
Power: act as if you already have it; 70% deal w/ imposter syndrome so do high achievers; everyone makes mistakes; distress over something is a universal experience; thoughts are just electric impulses & are not necessarily true; take a bird’s eye view; visual yourself succeeding | take up space w/ posture; be comfortable & not fidgety; stillness is regal; modulate your sentences & speak in projected slow measured tempo deep voice w/ frequent pauses; we judge ourselves deeper on pauses than the other person; before responding to someone wait 2 secs; be/act the big gorilla energy; when in a presentation move around as if it were your living room
Warmth: showing friendly body language; being benevolent/kind; imagine the distress into a positive frame & as being necessary & for higher wellbeing; assume the best intentions of people & imagine their circumstances; imagine as if it were their last day alive; try to think about 3 things you like about the person even superficial; imagine/emulate a warm idol; practice gratitude & describe your life in the 3rd person; remind people that they have a lot of options but your thankful for having me | give someone a compliment; asking what’s the story; ask open-ended questions & focus on questions that will illicit positive emotions; to bounce attention off of you answer their question w/ a fact then add a personal note then redirect the question back to them; you should pop up more the word I; try not to speak in negatives; to project warmth in your voice smile when you speak or imagine; mirror their body language in a subtle way; try to sit next to someone or at a 90 degree angle not face on or across the table; express appreciation for people; criticize the behavior not the person; ask for clarifying info & make the other person feel heard; answer the phone crisply & professionally but then answer warmly to show that you feel warm to the person & are not just a warm person
The Key to Persuasion: What is the WIIFM Principle?
3 Ways to Change Behavior
What’s in it For Me: most powerful motivator is self-interest. If you can align other’s interests w/ your own you’ll become extremely powerful. Remember to understand what they want & fear.
Your skill in using people rests ultimately on your ability to fashion circumstances such that their vales… dictate an action… which advances your interests
Use the Carrot & Stick: rewards & punishments; how will they benefit & how they will miss out
Address the Opposition’s Perspective: discuss the opposition’s solution before sharing where it goes wrong
Ways to Exit Convo
- Excuse me
- I’ll let you go
- I don’t want to monopolize your time. I’m sure other people want to talk to you too
- Ask who else you should meet
- Ask if you will meet at a future event or plan a get-together
- Emphasize enjoyment of company
- Fake phone call
