Start of Show to Mom Exit

Question 1

[first line]

Answer 1

Is it good?

Question 2

LIONEL: Hmmm?

Answer 2

Is it good?

Question 3

LIONEL: I’m sorry?

Answer 3

The book? Is it good? Are you involved?

Question 4

LIONEL: No. Not really.

Answer 4

Then could I talk to you for a moment?

Question 5

LIONEL: Well, to be honest, the book may not be good, but I’d like to get back to it. Get it over with.

Answer 5

I’ll make it worth your while.

Question 6

LIONEL: Thanks, but no thanks.

Answer 6

Come on, be a sport.

Question 7

LIONEL: Look, I don’t wish to be rude but, I just want to read, ok? No offense?

Answer 7

No offense. I understand. I’ll wait.

Question 8

LIONEL: No. You don’t understand. I don’t want you to wait. I want you to leave. I want to read my book.

Answer 8

That you’re not involved in.

Question 9

LIONEL: Right.

Answer 9

I do understand, and I’ll wait.

Question 10

LIONEL: All right. What is it?

Answer 10

I need your help.

Question 11

MAY: I need your help.
LIONEL: I see.

Answer 11

Are you married?

Question 12

MAY: Are you married?
LIONEL: No.

Answer 12

Are you involved in a serious relationship with a woman?

Question 13

MAY: … serious relationship with a woman?
LIONEL: No.

Answer 13

Are you involved in a serious relationship with a man?

Question 14

MAY: … serious relationship with a man?
LIONEL: No.

Answer 14

How about communicable diseases?

Question 15

LIONEL: How about them? [diseases]

Answer 15

Do you have any? Have you been exposed to any?

Question 16

LIONEL: Not that I know of.

Answer 16

Well, at this point you’ll have to do.

Question 17

LIONEL: Do what?

Answer 17

Help me out!

Question 18

LIONEL: Do you want money? I don’t have any money. I have a token, one token, but I need it. Please, isn’t there someone else who can help you?

Answer 18

No, not really!

Question 19

LIONEL: Hey, I’m sorry I snapped. What’s wrong?

Answer 19

Could you stand up for just a moment?

Question 20

LIONEL: Well… Sure, why not.

Answer 20

You’ll do just fine.

Question 21

LIONEL: You’re not a mugger or something, are you?

Answer 21

Or something?

Question 22

LIONEL: A terrorist of some sort?

Answer 22

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

Question 23

MAY: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
LIONEL: Oh.

Answer 23

I’m a bridal terrorist. HEY, over here!

Question 24

LIONEL: What are you doing?

Answer 24

Bridal terrorism. I’ll explain in a minute. Come on, let’s move it!

Question 25

TERRY: Found one?

Answer 25

Sure did.

Question 26

TERRY: How do you do?

Answer 26

Judge Winship, this is… I’m sorry, what’s your name?

Question 27

TERRY: Shhh. May’s in charge.

Answer 27

Where are the others?

Question 28

TERRY: They were right behind me. I see your sister over there.

Answer 28

Leave it to her to be distracted.

Question 29

LIONEL: Members of what party?

Answer 29

The wedding party, silly. GINA! COLIN! MOM! Heavens, you’d think they’d hurry.

Question 30

TERRY: Would you like to start without them?

Answer 30

I’ve waited thirty-four years, I think I can wait four more minutes.

Question 31

LIONEL: Excuse me. Is this some sort of joke?

Answer 31

Far from it!

Question 32

TERRY: … do you have the rings?
LIONEL: Rings?

Answer 32

Colin has them.

Question 33

GINA: … So, this is Mr. Right?

Answer 33

He might be, but for now he’s just Mr…

Question 34

GINA: Pretty good, May.

Answer 34

I think so!

Question 35

GINA: So introduce me already? Looking forward to being a victim?

Answer 35

Lionel, this is my sister, Gina Willis.

Question 36

TERRY: I’ve never understood why June weddings are more popular than April ones, especially when there are days as sunny as this one.

Answer 36

Look, I’m going to go help Mom and Colin; make sure he doesn’t get away. At the rate they’re going, I will be an old maid.